Twisted
by 10Stargazer01
Summary: Belle is on the run from Rumpelstiltskin. Red is on the run from everybody else, because of her wolf-curse. Their paths cross when an accident forces Red to seek out the dark wizard. Belle's escape, however, has caused him to become more malicious that ever. AU, no dark curse. Red Beauty. Rating is a 'soft' M due to violence and such.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Characters and settings belongs to the makers of Once Upon A Time. This goes for the entire story.**

**A/N: I'm trying something new. The story is essentially AU, but you will recognize some stuff from the show. There is no curse however, nor will one ever exist. I hope you guys like it and it would mean the world to me if you would leave a comment or two along the way.**

**Chapter 1**

The blade swung and aimed for her back. She threw her hands onto the ground and pushed as hard as she could to avoid the blow of his sword. The blade missed her by a few inches.

It wasn't enough though.

She heard the unmistakable sound of fabric ripping; a sound so loud is was almost a caricature. She hurried to her feet just out of the hunter's reach to examine the extent of the damage. For a moment she completely forgot about the man trying to slaughter her as the other matter had suddenly become far more pressing. She held out the cloak and her eyes widened when she saw the deep tear in the red fabric.

"No…" She whispered. "No, please. _Please_…"

The man saw this as his chance and swung the blade again. This time she was less aware and it took her a second longer to jump aside. As a result the edge of the sword cut into her arm and left another long tear in the cloak.

Red growled in pain. The sound came from deep within her, ripping up through her throat with unnatural force. That was how she knew her magical hood had stopped working. The hunter had damaged it fatally and now the beast was uncovered, unhindered in its way out of her. She paid no attention to the burning wound. It would leave a scar, but she had plenty of those as it was. What she worried about was the growing sensation of restlessness. The slight tremble that had started in her body. She hadn't felt this in two years, but she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what it was: The wolf was coming out.

"You shouldn't have done that", she said to the hunter.

He laughed. "Please. It's about time you stop hiding behind that thing and put up a fight. I want something to tell the guys when I bring back your head."

Red just looked at him. The damn fool had no idea what he had done.

The trembling was getting worse by the second as the magic was seeping out of the hood like water vapor from damp clothing in the summer heat. The feverish heat started to spread within her, traveling with the blood in her veins and boiling inside her as her body began to slowly transform.

"What are you just standing there for? Come at me!" He mocked. As the savage nature of the wolf started to creep into her mind she knew she wanted to kill him. To tear him apart limb for limb and paint the grass red with his blood. In her own human mind she desperately wanted him to leave. She wanted to wake up tomorrow without another life on her conscious, instead of being one kill farther from calling herself a human being.

"Run", was all she could get out and she pleaded him with her eyes. The irises were turning gold, abandoning her normal deep green.

He halted for a second to look into her eyes, perhaps seeing the despair they held or feeling the murderous aura that was starting to exude from her. Then he smirked and Red knew she would kill him.

"You don't get me that easy, Red. Bring on your worst."

Red closed her eyes, silently reaching for some kind of god or anything of higher power to help her. She gave it one last shot at stopping the process, but as a shiver ran down her spine and shook her entire body, she knew it was too late.

When she opened her eyes again, she looked up at the clear sky and shot a long, tender glance at the gleaming full moon. Then she untied the strings holding her hood in place. She looked at the arrogantly smirking hunter standing in the clearing in front of her as she did it.

"Fine", she said. "Die then."

She threw the hood off her and her heighted sense of hearing caught the sound of the heavy fabric hitting soft grass.

Then her body started convulsing. The pain of the change was something she had grown accustomed to and it was enough to contain, if she just clenched her teeth together and stopped fighting it. So she did just that, while feeling her limbs breaking out of place and growing in size. She felt the strain of her growing body tearing up the clothes, she was wearing and she waited for her mind to black out.

The blacking out was what she dreaded the most. Not knowing what came to pass, how many lives she would take or where she would wake up. Given what she had done in the past she was, however, on some levels grateful that she couldn't remember, but the sense of losing control to such extend terrified her. Yet, she did nothing to fight it as her vision began to blacken and the thoughts drifted away.

"I'm getting impatient. Move!" He swung the sword again. She could even smell the silver on the blade now, but the uncontrollable shaking of her body during the metamorphosis made it difficult to move and the sword cut into her side. The sound that escaped her was a mix between a human scream and an animalistic howl. The pain and terror of watching the man swing his sword again finally shut off her mind.

At last the beast broke out.

The wolf, now a size that would outmatch any terrestrial animal, threw itself at the hunter and pushed him to the ground. He had only time to cry out in shock once before the giant beast started to tear through him with fangs and claws. In a moment of panic he managed to swing the sword with his remaining arm and the silver blade hit the wolf's side, cutting into the thick coat of fur and deep into the flesh beneath it. The wolf flexed a claw at it and it snapped in two. Growling at the burning feeling of the metal it threw the pieces away and turned back to the hunter lying on the ground. With one slash of heavy claws the man was beheaded and the grass painted with his blood as promised.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Belle ran. She ran mindlessly, like she had done ever since leaving the castle. Down the staircase, through the hall, out the enormous double doors and into the cold, dark and isolated wild. She didn't know if it would ever be safe to stop running.

She had been crying when she left. Crying because of the lost love and out of fear for him. That last look on his face, when he had screamed at her to leave, still flashed vividly before her eyes. The man she knew was gone, taken by something else. Still she had cried for him.

She wasn't crying anymore. She was terrified beyond tears. She was cold and alone in unknown terrain and had been so for three days. The dark had never been her forte, the knowledge that so many unknown creatures could be lurking out there, just out of her sight, watching her from their hiding place. This knowledge is what made her stick to looking straight ahead as she ran through the dark forest. She feared that if she stopped the dark itself would swallow her whole and she would never take another step.

Back when she first arrived at Rumpelstiltskin's castle, he had been with her and she had paid no attention to the road. Now she wished she had. It had taken her two days just to find it, because initially when she left, she had just run out and far, far away without thinking. It was unusual for Belle, not thinking. It happened rarely, but when it did, it was often at the worst times.

Times like these.

Another reason why she had forced herself to stop crying was that she knew, if she broke down, she might just starve to death out here. She had found the road, but she hadn't seen a single soul so far. She had to keep moving. Belle knew a little about what berries and roots to eat from books and so she had made due, but if she didn't find shelter and something substantial to eat soon... She was pretty certain she was heading towards town though. She had taught herself to read the sun and with whatever little knowledge she had of the town – she had only been there once – she knew she would find it if she went east with the road. She followed the sun during the day and prayed she wouldn't get too lost at night. Whenever she slept was when she could find a tree with branches low enough to climb onto. She was too afraid to sleep on the ground. Every sound seemed magnified at earth level, every buzz of insects and sometimes she would catch a glimpse of glossy eyes. She didn't know if this was her imagination toying with her or not. The memories of isolation and helplessness overwhelmed her whenever she sat still and haunted her mind until she fell asleep.

Her feet were aching from walking now and the creatures of the day had gone silent around her. Soon the nocturnal ones would be everywhere and Belle decided it was time to look for a place to sleep. The moon was full tonight and left the path lighted, which was why she had let herself walk this long. Now she was tired and hungry. The best way to kill hunger, when she had no food, was to sleep and forget about it. She found a tree with the branches hanging low and climbed it. It would have been much easier if she had been taller, but her parents had not granted her that favor. She climbed up a half dozen feet and found a good thick one to settle onto. She thought of her father. She missed him. As it was, she didn't know when she would see him again. She didn't even know how far this kingdom was from her own. To be honest, she wasn't sure if she would see him again. That had been the deal from the beginning. Helping her kingdom in exchange for never leaving Rumpelstiltskin's castle. Now he had asked her, however unkindly, to leave, but she had no idea how to get back home. She tried to keep hopeful though. As soon as she got out of the forest everything would be easier.

As Belle started to drift off the sounds of the forest night began to slip from her mind. She settled into her hope, took comfort in it and gave in to the exhaustion.

A chilling howl pierced the air, making Belle jump back into full awareness. It sounded far away, like the echoes of it had been carried by the wind. No matter the proximity, the sound still terrified her. Whatever it was that could produce such a sound was something she wished to never encounter. It must be something rather large to have the lung capacity to howl so loudly. What was more troubling was that the sound was laced with agony. She didn't have much real-life knowledge of animals, only what she could read in books, but the pain in its voice was so evident. It was in pain. Hurt animals tended to be more vicious, she had read. She prayed it wouldn't come this way.

When she started drifting again she heard another howl, which jolted her back to reality once more. Was it coming closer? She wasn't sure. She debated whether she should try moving away from it, but thought better of it. That thing would probably be twice as fast as her. Right now she was down wind, so she stood a change. If it caught her scent and wanted to, it could find her and kill her in no time.

Instead Belle closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep, hoping she would still be here in the morning.

* * *

><p>She hadn't gotten much sleep. She had heard the howling a few more times, but with less volume. A few times she had drifted into a light sleep, but the thought of the howling creature suddenly standing beneath her with hungry eyes and fangs the size of knives kept her from deep sleep. The next time she opened her eyes the sky was gaining a lighter color and she gave up on getting any more rest. Her stomach was twisting in pain from the emptiness and forced her on her feet.<p>

From the tree she tried to form a general view of how far she had come. It was hard to see from the crowded treetop and she dared climbing up a little further for better view. In the murky hours of the morning she could make out vague blinking of lights in a distance. This made her smile despite the graveness of her current situation. It wasn't far now. She could make it to the town by today. If she was lucky enough a carriage would come by and take her the last miles.

Carefully she climbed down from the tree and onto the soft grass beside the road. As the forest was getting lighter she felt better at going a little deeper to find something to eat. Most of the berries just beside the road were either dead or eaten, she had noticed on the way. Other travelers might have eaten some or spoiled them by coming too close with their carriages. This meant that they must be coming by sometime. Belle hoped someone would.

Far enough into the bushes that the darkness became a little closer again, but from where she could still see the road Belle had luck with the berries. The choice was small, as she avoided anything she wasn't entirely sure was edible. No good in saving a starving stomach if you get poisoned instead, she thought. The sweetness of the berries made her mouth water and she realized just how hungry she was. She also felt weaker this morning. It was a good thing the town was within sight now. Another day out here would be critical.

Something was ruffling through the leaves of the forest floor. The noise was gaining volume and coming from somewhere to her left. Someone or _something_ was walking with dragging steps. Belle took cover behind the bush and stared in between the trees where she judged the sound was coming from. She ducked behind the green and kneeled closed to the ground. She looked down and saw a wealth of ants and spiders crawling out of the bush and away from her. Away from whatever was coming. What was it that made insects flee?

The sound of twigs and dry leaves being pushed around came closer. Belle heard something else. It sounded like breathing. Labored breathing.

The ruffling sound stopped. Belle felt sure that it must be a person. A person in pain. She peeked out from a hole in her bush. It was certainly a human figure, a woman. She was leaning against a tree it seemed, but Belle couldn't see her face. She stood bent in over herself and the labored breathing continued. She really was in pain.

Belle saw no reason to hide anymore. She stood up and walked around from behind the bush, not sure how to approach the woman. She had a large red cloak wrapped around her, but it was torn in multiple places she could see. Her raven colored hair was messy and some of it stuck to a pale cheek. Belle got the feeling that whoever she was, she was running too.

Belle took another step, which made the foreign woman look up and meet her gaze. She looked scared. She must be around her own age, Belle ascertained, younger than she would have guessed at first. Belle caught a glimpse of the girl's clothes. It was barely clothes anymore; all of it so shredded that it was merely pieces of fabric hanging from her slender figure. And there was blood on it. A lot of the pieces were dark from it and her red cloak was also colored with a darker shade of red at places, partly around the torn edges. There was a nasty, long cut on her forearm.

As Belle opened her mouth to say something, while taking a step closer, the girl flinched and took a step back. The motion seemed to cause her immense pain and she gripped the right side of her body. Belle only now noticed the rather large wound, still bleeding and now coloring the girl's fingers with a new layer of blood.

"What happened to you?" Belle asked, holding her place this time.

The girl looked confused at first. She stood there, examining Belle for a moment while supporting herself with a hand on the tree.

"You don't…" She started with what sounded like the beginning of a question, but gave up it seemed. Her voice was weak and thin as paper. When she started to reel and her eyes flickered, Belle sprang forward to catch her. She felt the girl's body collide with her own and it almost knocked her over. She barely kept her balance as she steadied the girl and tried to get her to sit down. The girl's hands were holding on to her arms, but the grip was loose.

She sighed as she finally sat down and she looked at Belle again. She tried to speak, but gave up again. She was so weak. Belle had forgotten all about her own empty stomach and growing fatigue, while looking at this sick, injured girl. She was definitely sick; her skin felt hot and feverish and her gaze was floating.

"It's going to be okay", Belle said, comforting. "The town isn't far. I'll go get help."

"No…" She murmured and stared directly into Belle's eyes. This confused Belle, but the girl was only half conscious now. If Belle didn't get her help, she might not make it. And there was no way she could walk. She felt the girl's forehead to try and determine the amount of fever. She had done this on a couple of kids back home. The girl sighed at her touch, probably because her hand was so cold. Belle was really starting to freeze, due to lack of food and proper shelter.

"I have to. You're sick", Belle said in a firmer voice. She started to get up, when unnaturally hot fingers gripped her wrist.

"Hide the hood", she whispered.

"What? Why?"

"Please…" The girl closed her eyes while starting to untie the strings, as if seeing and using her hands simultaneously was too much energy spent.

"Okay. Here, let me." Belle freed her of the cloak. Without it she was more than partially naked. Belle made a quick decision and took off her own cloak to wrap around her. She could freeze for a couple of more hours. As she bent down she looked at the ground. Here she saw more ants and spiders and other kinds of insects crawling away from where the girl was sitting. This is odd, Belle thought, but spent no more time worrying. She tucked the cloak around the girl and stood up to find a place to hide the hood. She couldn't fathom the reason why it must be done, but the pleading look in the girl's eyes had convinced her. She climbed up in a tree, hid it as well as she could and checked that it wasn't visible from the ground. When she had made sure she cast a glance at the girl. She appeared to be sleeping now, her chest heaving with effort. She had to hurry.

Belle made her way back to the road and started running towards town.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Red woke up to the smell of fresh bed linen. She had almost forgotten what that smelled like. She lay with her eyes closed for a minute, taking in the scent. There was a hint of beer in the air too and some kind of stew. Where was she?

She felt reluctant to open her eyes. Apart from the feeling of lying in a clean bed for once, she felt awful. Her head ached, her whole body felt too warm and too cold at the same time and it burned in her side. And she was so tired. The exhaustion seemed to reach into her soul. She felt drained to the core.

Then it all came back to her. The hunter. The full moon. The torn hood.

She jolted up from the bed, but only got halfway before falling back down, too dizzy to see straight. God, it had been close. She had taken a critical blow to the side, she could feel that. She lifted the crème colored covers to get a look at her injuries. The one on her arm was almost gone, only a thin pink line was left. It would become a thin white scar in a matter of a few days. The flesh wound in her side was a different story. It had been bandaged, but something was still oozing out of it, coloring the gaze with a disgusting shade of yellow. It burned like hell. There must still be silver in there.

She also noticed that her clothes had been changed. The girl must have switched it for whatever tiny shred of clothing had been left after her turn.

Red closed her eyes again and tried to remember. The hunter had torn her hood and she had turned for the first time in two years. She had killed him. She couldn't remember doing it, but she knew she had. Then she had woken up in the forest, covered in both their blood. She had been feverish then. It was difficult to remember, like it was all happening in a dream, but she had found the hood and some of the hunter's clothes along with what was left of her own. She had stumbled through the forest. Then she met… some girl. This she could barely recall. She had been so sick. The girl didn't know of her. She went for help. She hid the hood. Where was the hood now? At this thought Red forced herself to open her eyes again and take a look around. Nothing would stand still and trying to focus made her nauseous. The room was small she could tell. There was a madras on the floor and a small table with a chair. Beside her bed was a bucket of water with a sponge floating around on top. A small window was letting in fresh air.

Where the hell was she?

A creaking sound coming from the door made her eyes snap up to it. Slowly the door opened and a girl came in. Through her blurry vision Red recognized her as the girl she had met in the forest, before passing out. The girl looked right at her. She was pretty. Red couldn't keep focus long enough to discover any more details. She let her eyes close again and listened to the sound of the girl's footsteps coming closer to the bed. The door was shut.

"Are you awake?" She asked in a soft voice. She had an accent, so she must be from a different kingdom. Of course they were far from Red's own home, so for all she knew that could be a normal accent around here.

Red didn't answer her. The girl drew a light sigh and Red felt her sit down just beside her. There was a cool hand on her forehead and she sighed internally. The girl's skin was soft. There was a sound of water, probably from the bucket beside her and the sponge replaced the hand. The cool water felt so unbelievably good and Red settled for just enjoying this. The girl obviously didn't know her. If she did, she wouldn't be this nice. It was a pleasant turn of events at least for now. The longer she could go on pretending to be asleep or at least too weak to talk, the longer she could avoid what always happened. The recognition. The hunting.

The girl continued to cool her down, moving the sponge down her arms as well. It went on for a couple of minutes before the sponge abandoned her skin and dropped into the water again.

"If you're awake", the girl whispered. "I'm letting you know that I just have to check your bandages." Movement. Then the covers were removed and Red felt a chill as the breeze coming from the window touched the parts of her body that was now uncovered.

She heard a sigh. "I have to change these again. I'll be back in a minute." Footsteps towards the door and then silence. Judging from the shade of yellow she had seen before, her wound was still inflamed. It would continue to be until she could get out whatever remains of silver was left in there, which was preventing her natural quick healing. She would have to do something about that. Preferably when this sweet girl wasn't looking. She was a brunette, Red remembered. That was about the only thing she could recall from the few feverish glimpses she had had of her. Thick dark brown hair that framed her face. She had a hard time remembering what her face looked like.

Just then the door opened again and the light footsteps returned.

Her voice sounded close to Red's face when she said: "I'll just change them quickly. It might hurt. I'll try to be careful."

A sharp pain coursed through Red's system as soon as the girl touched her. She kept a straight face and clenched her teeth together, while silently thanking her unnatural high threshold for pain. Otherwise, this would have been torture. The girl was quick. Red's skin was uncovered for only a short while before new gaze was wrapped around her. She felt the girl lifting up her midsection to get the gaze around her, but did nothing to help, as she was pretending to be asleep. Despite the pain it was nice though. She couldn't remember the last time someone had treated her this kindly.

"There. All done. I have to get back to work, but I put a piece of bread on the table for you. I'll come back later."

She pulled the covers back over Red's body and left the room. Red smiled internally and drifted back into sleep.

* * *

><p>When Red woke up again the room had gone darker. She didn't feel one bit better from last time she woke, but she hadn't expected to. The silver was still in there.<p>

She wasn't alone this time. The girl was sitting at the table, reading something. At the muffled groan Red let out, she turned her head and looked at her. For a moment they looked at each other. Her eyes were blue, Red noticed. Then the girl smiled.

"Hi", she said.

Red's throat felt slightly swelled and irritated so she settled for a nod.

"How are you feeling? Better?"

Red felt bad about lying, so she nodded a little. At that the girl smiled again. In the dim light from the lamp on table Red had a chance to really see her face. She had a sort of round face and her skin was a light tone, maybe not as much as her own but still. There was a hint of dimples, when she smiled and her eyes were kind.

"Good", she said and turned around in her chair to face Red. "I'm Belle. What's your name?"

Red opened her mouth to answer, but closed it again almost immediately. It was nice for once that someone didn't know who she was. What she was. She wished to keep it that way for as long as she could. The girl, Belle, seemed to understand.

"Okay. Well, you need to eat something. I had the cook put aside a bowl of soup for you. I'll go get it for you."

Red nodded and smiled gratefully, however vague the movement of her lips was. She felt horrible for denying her sweet caretaker a request as simple as giving up her name, but it would be the end of this blissful intervening time in between running.

She came back with a small bowl of something that smelled… well better than most things she ate, but sort of thin. She would take it though. She needed nutrition.

"You are going to have to sit up", she said as she put down the bowl on the table to close the door again.

This would be a problem. Red got up on her elbows and tried to pull herself up on the pillow, but the excruciating pain from the wound in her side made her fall right back on the pillow with a gasp. She needed that damn thing out.

Belle looked worried. "Let me see the wound again. Hold still." She got up and pulled the covers off Red again. From here Red could see the inflammation still oozing out of the wound to moisten the gaze. "Maybe we should change these first, what do you say?"

Red nodded. _God, please do._

Belle nodded back and started to unwrap her. As soon as it was off, Belle left to get fresh ones with a "Hold still, I'll be right back."

This was her chance.

Red felt her way towards the injury with her fingers and when she reached it she stopped for a moment, clenched her teeth and prepared herself. Then she dug her fingers in. The pain was so intense she felt like throwing up. With everything in the room spinning out of focus, she dug deeper into the bleeding hole in her side, just above the hip, until she felt the metal burning the tips of her fingers. With a scream just barely suppressed in her throat, she closed three fingers around the splinter and started pulling it out. She could feel it burning the inside of her flesh all the way out to the surface and melting off a few layers of skin on her fingers as well. She gasped as the damned piece of silver finally exited her body and she threw it down at the foot of the bed. She could already hear light footsteps coming from the hall. She tried to wipe her fingers in the linen and fell back on her pillow, fighting the tears and the blackening of her vision, just as Belle reentered.

Red avoided her eyes and hid her right hand, as Belle bent down to redress her in bandage. Belle stopped halfway and Red prayed she wouldn't notice. It would be hard to explain.

"The wound broke up again. I told you to hold still", she said in a voice that was slightly chiding, but far from angry. Red said nothing and Belle wrapped the bandage around the wound again with careful fingers. "There. All done", she then said, just like last time. There was something adorable about that.

She pulled back and retrieved the bowl of soup.

"Can you sit up now, you think?"

Red wasn't sure, but at least there wouldn't be silver burning inside her whenever she moved now. She tried. As the fever and most of the pain from the screaming nerves inside her wound was still there, she found it difficult and settled for staying partially upright, leaning against the wall.

"Maybe I should just hold this. If that's okay with you?"

Red felt a prickle of injury to her pride at being fed, but the choice came down to being fed or risking passing out, while trying to eat by herself. Not to mention risking exposing her hand, which she had kept beneath the covers.

She nodded and let Belle lead the spoon to her mouth.

However unsolid it was nice to finally get food in her system. She smiled welcoming at Belle, who kept the soup coming. While eating Red looked around the room. Belle seemed to catch that.

"We're in a tavern. I had help from a few men working here with getting you in here from the forest where I found you. You were out for almost two days. I hope you get better soon, but don't worry. Take the time you need." She lifted the spoon to her mouth one more time before adding, in a lower voice like when speaking of a secret. "And your hood is safely hidden."

Red smiled again, grateful beyond words, which was fine since she had no intention of speaking soon anyway. She wondered though. The men that Belle had helping her didn't recognize her either. Maybe rumors hadn't travelled here yet. It was a pleasing thought. Feeling an ounce of relief, Red ate her soup and thought to herself that she could get used to this.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Great thanks for the support so far! Here's the next one for you, enjoy.**

**Chapter 4**

There was a quality of mystery to this girl, Belle thought. Like she was hiding something. The significance of the hood for one thing. So far she had not spoken a single word, not since Belle found her in the forest and she had told her to hide the red hood. Belle wasn't sure if it was out of reluctance or inability.

During the first two days at the tavern she had mostly slept, while Belle nursed her. She didn't even look aware the first few times she had opened her eyes and tried to sit up. Belle got the feeling the girl was trying to get up to leave, but she was too weak follow through. Most of the food Belle had got in her she hadn't been able to keep down. The wound looked horribly infected and at one point Belle was worried she might not make it.

Then yesterday she had woken up a few times and the second time she appeared to feel a little better. She had given Belle a few intense looks, but never uttered a word. Belle didn't mind though, she could have all the time she needed. They weren't in any hurry. Belle had even pushed aside her worry that Rumpelstiltskin would seek her out, focusing all of her energy on getting the girl better. She had come to the conclusion that if he was determined to find her and take her back, he would have done so by now. She wasn't that far away and she wasn't moving anymore.

Belle had made a deal with the owner of the tavern that she would work for board and lodging for both of them. Two girls, where one was as sick as the girl upstairs, didn't take much out of their stock and they shared the room. The owner was a pleasant, middle-aged man with a friendly smile and a disappearing hairline. He would often ask how the sick girl was feeling and Belle would tell him that she wasn't sure. And that she didn't even know her name yet. Then he would give her a friendly pat on the shoulder and assure her that she would make it. He never came up to the room, as he told her he wouldn't interfere with her treatment of the girl. Maybe he was afraid she was contagious. Belle had worried about that too, but if so it didn't seem to affect her.

It hadn't been easy getting her here. First she had to run all the way into town, which made her whole body ache and weak with fatigue. It had taken hours. She had run into the first place she had seen – this tavern. To her luck the owner was this kind man, who agreed to send a few guys out with their wheel barrow, which they normally used for the market. They ended up being glad that they had brought that, because the foreign girl was a lot heavier that she looked. Like her long, slender body contained something heavier than just human flesh and bone. The two men had taken a quick look at her and scooped her up on the barrow. It took the strongest of them to carry her to bed. Belle had been anxious at the sight of her lifeless body hanging from the man's arms and she had wondered if it was already too late.

The girl seemed to be in recovery now though. Belle went up to check on her as soon as she got her break. For now she was asleep, safely tugged beneath the warm covers. The air in here was thick with malady and she opened the window again to welcome in some fresh air. She was afraid to leave it open too long so to not make the girl's illness worse. Standing over her, she took a minute to examine her. Her skin had gained just a hint of color and the hair didn't stick to her face anymore. She seemed peaceful now. Sometimes she would toss and turn restlessly in bed while troubled expressions would flicker over her sleeping face. Belle couldn't help but wonder what she had been doing out in those woods. It couldn't possibly be the same thing Belle was. Or could it? Belle's first impression had been that this girl was running from something too.

She had a lot of scars, Belle had noticed, as she had changed her into proper clothes upon arrival. They covered most of what Belle had seen of her body and she had a thin white scar across the left cheek, but mostly her face was untouched. Most of looked like it originated from the same thing. They were all thin lines of white, bulging slightly from the skin. Despite the disfiguring of her skin, she was still a beautiful girl and there was something intense about her, mostly centered in those green eyes that followed her around, whenever the girl was awake.

It was time to change the bandage. Belle had done this twice a day because the wound kept oozing pus. She would change it more often if she could, but the spare gaze needed time to dry.

"If you're awake, I'm just going to change your bandage again", she whispered to the girl. If she really was asleep she didn't want to wake her, but in case she wasn't, she didn't want to startle her. It was obvious on her face that it hurt. Less this morning, but it still hurt.

Carefully Belle slid the covers aside and moved the shirt up to gain access to the bandage. The clothes she had gotten was from the owner's wife, who was roughly the same size as the foreign girl. Belle was content to see that wound looked better now, a little less inflamed perhaps. There was a bit of blood on the gaze and the linen too, she noticed and thought that the wound had broken up and started bleeding again during the night. Now it could get just a little bit of air with the bandage off, maybe that would help the ulceration.

"Don't move. I'll be right back." She hurried out of the room and down the hall to switch the used gaze with the newly washed. Then back to the room where she quickly wrapped the wound again. It would be good for the wound to get more air she thought, but she could leave it bare like this with the girl asleep. Not with the restless way she usually slept. Belle was getting good at this. It took her no time to dress the girl in gaze and despite the uncharacteristically heavy body; she could easily sneak it around her midsection now.

She left to go wash the gaze and when she came back, green eyes were following her. The girl barely moved, only her eyes wandered around as Belle moved so sit on the chair beside the bed. Her face gave nothing away and Belle settled for breaking the ice again.

"Hi. Feeling better today?"

The girl hesitated, but then nodded, moving her head against the pillow as she did.

Belle smiled. "Good. Your injury looks better too. I have to get to work again, but I'll come back in a few hours. Will you be okay?" Another nod, less hesitant this time. "Okay. I'll bring up some supper for you."

Belle got up and left the room after a last glance on the girl. She was still watching her. Belle smiled reassuringly and went down to the ground floor of the tavern. There were lots of guests coming in for supper now and Belle quickly swung by the kitchen. In here she found Magnus, the owner, talking to the cook. He looked up as Belle entered.

"Hello Belle, how's your friend today?"

"Better I think. I can't thank you enough for letting me use your gaze. I don't know how to repay you."

"Actually…" He said with his hoarse voice. "Can you read?"

Belle nodded. "Yes, I can."

"Could you help my son? He's trying to learn, but I'm no teacher. I don't know that many words myself."

"I would love to!"

"Thanks Belle, I'll bring him over tonight. Consider us even then. Now go on to work with you."

Belle grabbed her apron and starting serving food and beverages to the hungry travelers waiting on the other side of the kitchen. It was hard work that she had never done before, not like this anyway, but in some way she liked it. She was used to being served, but she found that she liked working for what she got. There was something gratifying about contributing to an everyday life like the one in this small town. And if the girl upstairs recovered thanks to her, it was definitely worth it.

* * *

><p>Hours later she returned to the shared room, happy to fall into bed, even if said bed was just a madras on the floor. Sleeping on the floor was another thing she had never done before. She was experiencing a lot of first's this week, but she felt that they made her grow. She was grateful that she had something to do, to take her mind of <em>him<em>. Even though they hadn't been the same in the end, the thought of having given up gnawed at her, but there had been no other way.

The girl was still awake, when she entered the room. Her eyes fixated on Belle immediately, but then she looked down. Belle tread carefully, not sure what this change in behavior meant. Then she looked up again.

"Thank you", she said. Her voice was husky, probably because of the fever and due to the fact that she hadn't spoken in days. Belle was so relieved to hear her speak either way.

"You do talk", she said with a small smile. She couldn't help herself. "You're very welcome. I was beginning to fear the sickness had made you mute."

"That can happen?" The girl's eyes widened a bit.

Belle nodded. "Yes. It happened to one of the kids back in my hometown." She sat down on the chair again and put down the bread, while watching the girl as she watched her.

"So you're not from here?" The huskiness disappeared from her voice, as it warmed up. It was a lot clearer now.

"No. Are you?" Belle felt a tickle of excitement at the thought of finally unraveling a bit of the mystery surrounding the girl lying in front of her.

"No…" She said. Then she made a movement to try and get up. Having lifted herself a few inches in the air she stopped. Her arms trembled a little and for a moment her gaze floated. Just as Belle leaned forward to help, the girl got in control of herself and pulled up into a half-sitting position against the back wall, like she had done yesterday. Belle handed her the bread and she took it with a vague smile and started picking at it, putting the torn off pieces in her mouth. "So… Where am I?" She asked between bites.

"Well, I don't know much of the location, but it's called Tiny Rock. We're at the tavern, where I had you brought from the forest." Belle was itching to ask her why she was here, what her name was and what had happened to her, but she sensed that she had to tread carefully with her questions, if she was to get any answers.

"That explains it. Did you get me here all by yourself?"

Belle giggled, remembering how she could barely lift the girl. "No, I had help form two gentlemen who also works here." The girl raised an eyebrow. "I work here for board and lodging for the both of us."

"You do? For… me?" There was a touch of disbelief in her features that told Belle, she was astounded.

"Yes."

"You shouldn't."

"Well, you were sick. I had to help you somehow."

"That's… Thank you."

Belle smiled again. "Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you didn't die. It felt like a close call at one point."

The girl smiled back, but vague like before. It didn't quite reach her eyes, as if she herself didn't really feel the smile as it formed. When she ate the last of the bread Belle handed her another piece, which she accepted, grabbing the piece quickly and pulling her hands close to her body. Then something seemed to dawn her, because her eyes widened with dread.

"You didn't tell them who I am, did you?"

"Well, I don't know who you are. You wouldn't tell me yesterday, remember?"

The next look she got was a thoroughly examining one. The raven-haired girl in front of her kept putting bits of bread into her mouth while staring at Belle with a gaze so intense Belle wanted to look away. She didn't though. She felt like there was some test happening, one she had to pass if she was to ever get anything out of the mysterious girl she had rescued. Belle was curious as to why the girl was being to reluctant, but she had to consider that they had met under odd circumstances. Belle herself wasn't that eager to share her story with just anyone. It only made sense that whatever this girl had experienced, which had caused her to wander around in the forest, mortally wounded, was something she wanted to be careful about wording.

"If they ask, refer to me as Ruby", she then said.

Now it was Belle's turn to look skeptical. At last she had gotten a name out of the girl, but it obviously wasn't the right one. "I take it, that's not your real name?"

She looked around, wavering again. The bread was abandoned on the bed, only half-eaten. Then she finally looked at Belle. "No. My real name is… Red."

"Like the hood?" Belle asked without even thinking about it. Red was sort of an odd name. She stopped her trail of thoughts when she realized the girl in front of her looked absolutely horrified. "Uh, I mean, because the color is the same. Your hood was red. Did I say something wrong?"

The girl, she guessed, she should be calling her Red now, composed herself and tried to smile. "No, of course not. But, yeah that's my name. I probably shouldn't have told you, but you've been so kind to me and… yeah, just please don't use it around others, okay?"

"Okay…"

"And you still know where my hood is?" Belle nodded. "Good."

"Can I ask what's so special about it? It was torn by the way, I don't know if you remember."

"I know. And… I can't tell you, I'm sorry." She genuinely looked unhappy about rejection Belle's request and even though Belle felt that it was obvious Red didn't trust her, she shook it off.

"It's okay. And your name is safe with me."

"Thank you", she said for the third time and at last the smile reached her eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Red couldn't believe her luck that the rumors of her had not yet reached this town. Of course rumors were a wrong word to use, since most of what they said was true. They called her a murderer. A freak. A beast. All of them true. Either way she might be safe for a little while. She knew it had been unwise to tell Belle her real name, but as hard as the girl worked to get her better, Red felt she owed it to her. When Belle drew the connection to the hood, there was a moment where Red really thought she had blown it. She was still in luck though; her sweet caretaker had no idea who she was. What she was.

Even so she had to get away from here. Go back into the woods and hide until the wound was probably healed. It felt like it was taking forever. The oozing had just about stopped, but it still hurt like hell to move. She wondered if she had gotten everything out. She would just have to hope that it was clean, or that her body would eventually push out the foreign object. She would have to wait it out. Of course she would heal faster if she turned into the wolf, but she'd be damned if she let that happen.

She could hear footsteps out in the hall. She knew it was Belle. A few others walked by out there sometimes, but none of them tread as lightly as Belle. She sometimes heard their voices too. She could rarely hear what they talked about, but she could hear that they spoke in a different way than Belle. None of them possessed that endearing accent she had. Red figured she must be telling the truth about her inheritance. Then again, why would she lie? Wasn't Red the only liar here?

A few moments after the door opened and Belle smiled at her. Red smiled back, honestly glad to see her. The girl was really pleasant company and Red found herself wishing she was in here more often. Of course she had to work to keep the roof over both their heads and the meals coming. That was another thing she couldn't quite believe: This girl's selflessness.

"Good morning" Belle said and stepped inside with a plate of bread and butter. As Red got slowly better she started feeling just a hint of hunger, especially as the smell of freshly baked bread started filling the room.

"Morning", she mumbled and tried to sit up. She still had to settle for that half-sitting position; otherwise the world started spinning too much.

"You want to eat first or have the gaze changed?" She asked.

"Eat first please", Red said. Touching the injury, even if it was with Belle's quick, capable hands left her a little nauseous and she wanted to be able to enjoy her breakfast for once.

"Okay then. Here you go", Belle said and handed her the plate. Red thanked her and started eating as slow as she could make herself go. Too fast and it would all come back up again. She couldn't remember the last time she was this sick. She had been reckless with that hunter. Usually she was better at avoiding silver.

"How are you feeling this morning?"

"Er, okay?" Red offered, but Belle didn't look like she quite believed her.

"I think you still have a fever. Can I?" She asked as she stretched out a hand. Red nodded hesitantly and let Belle put a cool hand on her forehead and cheeks. Her skin felt good against Red's, soothing. Her fingers felt like tiny ice cubes, and Red figured she was still feverish. So did Belle. "You definitely do. But a little less than yesterday I think, so that's good."

She looked at Red for a moment. Red just stared back as she ate, waiting for the girl to say whatever was on her mind, while debating whether to tell her truths once she did. She felt like this was a girl who could be trusted, but she had been wrong before.

"So…" Belle began. "You still don't want to tell me why you were out there and what happened? Since you told me you're not from here I mean."

Red thought about it for a moment. For a split second she actually considered it, but thought better of it. Instead she said: "I was travelling and I got lost in the woods. I tripped and I hit a sharp edge of a fallen tree. There must have been a lot of dirt on it. I don't remember much else, until I stumbled into you. I hardly even remember that."

Red could see it in her face, that Belle didn't buy her story. It was vague and had no reason to be handled with the secrecy she had expressed so far. And it didn't explain the hood. It would have been an acceptable story to anyone but the girl, who had happened to find her out there, most likely covered in blood and dirt.

Belle didn't say anything about it though, but merely nodded. Red felt uncharacteristically bad about lying to her, but if she was going to get out of this without a new pack of hunters after her, she had to.

"Must be horrible, being lost out there", Belle mused while glancing at her. Red felt a jab of guilt. _Pull it together Red_. The girl got up from her seat. "I have to change your bandage before getting back to work."

"Does your work pay for that too? The gaze I mean."

"No, I agreed to help the owner's son learn to read in exchange for these." Belle smiled a little with one side of her mouth, making it crooked, looking like this was something she was a little proud of. "And it isn't that much; we only have two, so I wash them in between use. I realize it could have been more sanitary, but it's the best I can do."

"No it's great, that not what I meant." Reuse or not, this was still the best treatment she had gotten ever since running from home. Belle smiled, letting her know she wasn't offended.

She took the plate and put it back on the table as Red inched herself back to a lying position. It had become a routine, changing the bandage. Belle worked quickly, probably from all the practice she had gotten. She examined the wound shortly before leaving with the usual "Hold still." Red considered searching for more silver in there, but convinced herself that if there was anything left, she would feel it burning her flesh. And it didn't exactly burn anymore.

Belle came back with the fresh gaze and now that Red was awake, she figured she could help by lifting her own body for once, so Belle could easily slide the gaze in beneath her. Now that she was fully awake she felt a little self-conscious about having her stomach exposed like this. She was in a vulnerable position, something that didn't suit the superior monster slumbering inside her.

"There, all done", she said as she always did when finished with the wrapping. It made Red smile at her. This girl was sort of adorable in her own way.

Belle stood up and pulled the covers back over Red. "I have to get down to work now. I'll bring you up some lunch later, okay?"

"Okay."

The girl left with another of those sideways smiles and Red closes her eyes, feeling nauseous as expected. And tired. She had planned to stay awake, but she was almost asleep before the sound of Belle's light footsteps had disappeared from the hallway.

* * *

><p>When she woke up again she was still alone. She had that sense of freezing, while simultaneously sweating through the covers in a way so she could feel the stickiness. She looked up to see that the window was closed again. Belle must have closed it, afraid she would catch a pneumonia while lying here. Of course Belle didn't know that such a human disease didn't have any hold on Red.<p>

She listened for sounds in the hall and found none. Now was as good a time as ever to make her escape. She felt resentful at the thought of leaving Belle after all she had done and because she was the best company Red had had in years, but she had to get out, while she could. Sooner or later they would figure it all out and come for her.

With a quick swing of her arm she threw the covers back and took a quick look at the gaze. It was much less colored this time, which was a good sign. She would be able to survive on her own; she just had to find some place safe to heal up, some place where no one would find her.

Slowly she got up on her elbow. _God, the world is spinning already_. She inched herself closer to the edge of the bed, ready to slip out. This seemed rather headless. What would she do, crawl out of there? Oh well, now that she was at it, she might just as well give it a try.

She hauled herself out of the bed. With a hard thump she crashed to the floor. She had hoped she would land on her knees and get up from there, but they had just given up underneath the deadweight of her sick body and now she was on her stomach on the floor. The sudden impact to her injury sent painful jabs through her body and she clenched her teeth. She almost laughed at the absurdity. She couldn't even get out of bed, how on earth would she escape this building? Another thought she didn't feel content to finish was that, what if her pretty, adorable caretaker hadn't decided to help her? She might have died right there by the tree. Maybe some animal would dare get close enough to take a whiff at her and when someone would finally find her, the great monster would be dead and gone, her bones picked clean. This was pathetic.

Sighing with defeat, she forced herself up on her elbows and knees, this time to get back into bed. The world was turning upside down and vice versa repeatedly as she crawled back onto the bed. Her ears were ringing and heat crawled up her neck with uncomfortable speed. Her vision was blackening. If she didn't get to lie down soon, she would pass out. Pathetic monster she was, just plain pathetic-

The door slipped open. The momentary shock made her flinch and a low growl that was a little too animal-like escaped her throat. Her head spun and her eyes snapped up to see Belle flinch in the doorway.

"R- What are you doing?" Red hadn't even heard the footsteps in the hall like she used to. This was starting to look like the most tragic escape ever. For a moment Belle stood still by the door, but then she hurried over to her and Red felt her hands steadying her, helping her into bed again. As soon as she was in horizontal position again the ringing subsided and the heat crawled back down.

"What were you trying to do?" Belle asked again. She drew the sponge out again and started patting Red's forehead with the heavenly cool water, so she must look as pitiful as she felt right now. There's was some guilt mixed up in there too.

"I was just trying to… open the window." It sounded reasonable and Belle seemed to buy it after looking at her with searching eyes for a moment.

"I'll just open it right now. I'm sorry if the air became too stuffy in here, I just didn't want you to get too cold."

"Don't apologize", Red mumbled and looked away.

After Belle has pushed open the window she sat down on the chair. She never touched the madras on the floor, apart when she slept, Red noticed. Like the thought of sitting so close to the floor was uncustomary to her.

"So how is it down there?" Red asked instead.

"It's fine I guess. I don't mind serving people, I'm just not that used to it."

"That's right, you weren't from here either."

"No…" She could see that Belle was hesitating. She bit down on her bottom lip. Red didn't think she even realized that she did, but Red did notice. The display of security made her look even more adorable. Red found herself examining the girl's bottom lip a little too closely, watching her teeth dug into the flesh of the lip. Finally Belle continued, forcing Red back into focus. "I actually came from Rumpelstiltskin's castle."

"Rumpelstiltskin's castle's nearby?" Red spat out instantly and mentally kicked herself. Wasn't she supposed to keep all of this to herself? Although she wasn't sure she heard correctly. It couldn't possibly be…

Belle nodded though. "It is. I would guess a couple of days' worth of travel. On foot that is." So she did hear correctly. _Well, that's some kind of luck_. The hunter she had recently killed had really chased her a long way.

"So what were you doing at his castle?" Red tried to sit up a bit. She wouldn't risk falling asleep for this. She couldn't believe her luck. Again.

"I um, worked there as a maid for a while."

Red was ready to listen, but Belle didn't say anymore. Instead she bit down on her lip again.

"That's an odd place to be employed", Red then said, hoping to get more out of her.

"I suppose. It was a deal we made at the benefit of my hometown."

"Why did you leave? I mean, you were out in the woods too."

"We, um, had some issues and I was sent away." Her answer felt definite to Red. Red wished she would say more, but she didn't push it. She had been grateful when Belle had decided not to try and decipher her own cover story, so in honor of fairness, Red held her tongue and didn't go any nearer to the subject of Rumpelstiltskin. If Belle wanted to share she would, Red assumed.

"Tell me about your hometown", Red pleaded instead.

This question seemed to please Belle though. Her face lit up as she talked about it: "Oh it's such a lovely place. I didn't come into mid-town that often, but when I did it always had this atmosphere of… freedom I think. There are always kids running around in the streets playing with each other, birds skipping around on the square, waiting for these old couples to come feed them with bread crumbs. I would sometimes sit by the fountain in the middle of the square and just watch it all play out. Or maybe sit on a bench and read a book. They have the most wonderful library down there, better than… Well, better than the selection I had at home. And the small booths at the town market, filled with all kinds of groceries and foods from out of town and…" Belle went on about everything she had seen on the town market. Red listened carefully to every word. She considered asking why Belle sometimes spoke in past tense, like this town wasn't part of her life anymore, but decided against it. They were taking small steps in revealing their lives and pasts, both of them. Better not push it. Besides, Red liked listening to Belle talking and watching how her eyes sparkled with excitement. She talked like someone who was locked in her home most of the time and rarely got out to see the life that unfolded around her. Red recognized some of that. She had been housebound a load of times, when her mother had gone on a rampage. But that was more for the sake of safety. Red got the feeling Belle wasn't kept in for safety reasons, because she talked like there was nothing to be afraid of. She sounded like she loved getting out. Red, as an older child, had been terrified to go outside and was more than happy to obey her grandmother and father, when they told her to stay indoors. The thought of it made Red think back to the days when she still had a mother. It hadn't been a perfect family, far from, but it had still been one.

"Red, are you okay?"

Red flinched again at the mention of her name and she saw that Belle was eyeing her with a nervous look.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine, I just have a headache. But please continue. You were telling me about the market?"

Belle smiled and picked up where she left off. This time Red devoted her full attention to Belle and kept the old memories at a distance.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Just wanted to point out that the names for places and such are totally made up (except of course for the ones you recognize from the show). It's all supposed to take place in something resembling The Enchanted Forest, so I just created a name for some of the smaller parts. Enjoy :)**

**Chapter 6**

As Red got better Belle noticed new things about her. The way she moved for one. Belle hadn't paid much attention to this because Red had been too sick to do anything but lie down. Now that Red's progress in recovery allowed her to sit up in bed and occasionally get up for a short walk around the room, Belle noticed a certain quality to her movements: They were mostly quick and calculated. Whenever she reached for something, she would draw a hand out quickly and retrieve the object instantly thereafter, keeping it close to her body. She didn't accept things; she leaped at them, like whatever it was might disappear right in front of her at any moment. Sometimes it seemed almost predatory. It matched with the way she had watched Belle, back when she didn't talk. Intense, measuring stares. She still did that sometimes, but the speech covered it up a bit. She was an odd girl, Belle had decided, but she liked her nonetheless.

There were other things too. Like how the little insects that was in every room of the tavern always presented themselves in the opposite side of the room from her. At times when Red got up, Belle started to notice little spiders crawling away in a hurry. She wouldn't have taken notice of this if it didn't happen every time the girl moved around, causing the spiders to move with her. Away from her. It made her think of all the insects crawling away that day in the forest, when she had approached the clearing Belle was hiding in. Belle wasn't sure if this held any meaning or if it was just pure coincidental, but she still wondered. Birds never sang outside their window either, they stayed on the other side of the house.

That night she woke up at the sound of squeaking. It was a mouse that had gotten in there. It was crawling between the bed and her madras on the floor, fleeing. Before Belle could do anything a hand jammed into its back, breaking it at once. She could hear the bones crack inside its tiny body. The attack had been executed at incredible speed, like a bite from a snake. As the hand retrieved she followed it to find the dark figure of Red sitting up in her bed, staring at the dead mouse in her hand. The dim moonlight came in through the window, lighting a part of her face. Her eyes looked darker and a smile was playing at her lips. Then she got up, only slightly swaying, and opened the window to toss the body of the mouse out into the night. When she turned around again her eyes locked on Belle's and a gasp was caught in Belle's throat. She couldn't exactly see the girl's face in the dark, but she felt the change in the atmosphere. She felt a sort of feral aura exuding from the girl as she held her gaze.

Then she sat down and the moment was over.

"Sorry, did I wake you? It was just a mouse, but it's gone now." Her voice had a friendly tone, not even laced with that caution that was often present in her voice, whenever she spoke. This worried Belle a little, though she didn't fully understand why.

"It's alright."

"Good. 'Night then." She lay down again and pulled the covers over herself.

"Good night", Belle whispered.

It was moments like these that made Belle remember that, frankly, she had no idea who this girl really was.

* * *

><p>"Try reading it again and break it up like I told you." Belle sat beside the little, golden-haired boy as he broke down the word and fought through it. When he finally did it right he looked up and flashed a wide grin at Belle.<p>

"I did it!"

"Yes you did great Oliver. Now, what do you say we read this page to the end and call it a day? It's getting late."

The little boy nodded. "Okay. You read it first."

Belle did so, moving her finger along the lines so Oliver could follow her. When she was through she pushed to book back in front of him and gestured for him to read it. He was a lot slower than Belle, but Belle had had a lot of practice. She had spent the majority of her time reading back home and with Rumple too, when she hadn't been working. She found comfort in books and she always enjoyed reading. She would read anything from cookbooks to fairytales. Anything held some sort of interest to her. Even this kids' story that Oliver was supposed to read, she could find value in, despite that it wasn't as thrilling as much of what she would choose for herself.

When the boy had packed up his things and run off to his father, Belle put on her apron and worked for an hour or two, before she was allowed to leave with two bowls of stew, one for her and one for Red.

"Is she still alive up there?" The cook asked as the placed the two bowls in front of her. "We don't ever see her down here. Might start thinking you brought a ghost with you." He smiled at her and offered her two spoons. He was a young man with a real talent for cooking. Pots and pans were flying around in his kitchen, but he always seems to have control over everything. He was always in a cheerful mood, whenever Belle would enter the kitchen. He was easy to talk to, although Belle didn't dare tell him much about herself. And she hadn't much to tell about her sick roommate.

"Yes, she's alive, but she's still pretty sick. She's getting better though, so that's good."

"Sure, that's something. Here you go, enjoy. And give Ruby my best."

"I will. Thank you."

Belle walked up the stairs balancing one bowl in each hand. The light started to flicker as she ascended the staircase and she stopped dead for a moment, waiting for the light to steady. It happened again once more and then the lamps seemed to settle into light again. Finally she could continue and walked with difficulty towards the room, nervous that she might drop one of the bowls. She had to use her elbow to push down the door handle and her back to open the door.

Red was awake when she entered, looking at her as she always did, like she knew she was coming. She was sitting up this time, which was a good sign. Belle smiled at her and put down their supper so she could close the door.

"Grady sends his best."

"Er, and Grady is?" Red asked hesitantly.

"The cook."

"Ah. I'm not good with names."

"Well, in your defense you haven't seen his face. That usually makes it harder for people to remember. Here you go." Belle handed her the bowl and Red withdrew it quickly. Her appetite seemed to be getting better too.

"So did anything exciting happen down there today?" She asked between mouthfuls.

Belle shrugged. "I guess not. It mostly a bunch of noisy men drinking beers and bragging about something. There was a deer hunter down there today showing off the antler's from the one he'd killed. I didn't like him much, he seemed sort of arrogant. And killing animals just for fun is cruel." Belle took a mouthful of stew and didn't notice Red looking down at her last spoken words. She went on: "I tutored Oliver today. He's a quick learner. But he also seems to like to read, so that helps."

"Do you like to read?" Red asked her. A tiny smile appeared on her lips and she gazed at Belle with something that looked like anticipation. She stretched up to put the bowl on the table, while licking her lips clean, looking at Belle the whole time. Belle felt a little change in the atmosphere, but was delighted anyway to talk about her passion.

"I really do", Belle replied with a wide smile. "I always have as far back as I can remember. Especially-"

The light suddenly went out, leaving the room pitch black. Belle gasped as the world around her suddenly disappeared. Even the moon was covered by clouds tonight and there was nothing to chase away the darkness. Belle's breathing starting picking up speed and she almost dropped the bowl of unfinished stew in her lap. She could live with the dark at night. It was night and it always followed the day, but this, this was something else. This was unexpected and Belle had had no time to prepare herself. She felt trapped, sitting there in the middle of the room, feeling the chair she was sitting on as the only evidence that the world hadn't ceased to exist. She sat still like a statue, waiting for the light to come again and free her of the dark, as memories started to crash into her brain.

"Are you okay?" Red's voice sounded somewhere in the dark. Belle had lost all sense of direction as she sat there, clutching her hands to the bowl.

"Why isn't the light coming back?"

"I guess we're having a blackout. You sound nervous."

"I don't like the dark. I don't know what to do…" A few things were starting to separate themselves from each other as her vision got used to the absence of light. It wasn't enough though, far from. She could faintly see the edge of the bed and the table, but the corners of the room felt closer as the dark from them emerged to consume her. Sitting in the dark made her aware of all the space behind her. Creatures could hide back there. Shadows became alive themselves and took form, reaching out to lick the back of her neck. Her hairs started to stand on edge.

"It's okay", Red said in a soothing voice. After a short break she added: "Come over here then. But put down the bowl first. Just to your right and a little up."

Belle slowly followed the instructions, feeling her hands tremble as she moved them out from her body. She could barely see her own hands. Something or some_one_ could grab them and she wouldn't even see them coming. She felt the bowl collide with the edge of the table and moved it a little up. A few drops of sauce landed on her hand. Carefully she placed it on the wooden surface and withdrew her hands.

"There you go. Now come over here. Take my hand, I'll guide you."

"I can't see where it is", Belle whispered and noticed only a vague movement in front of her, but not enough for her to go at. She heard a faint sigh and was just about to get angry with Red for mocking her fright, but then a warm hand closed around hers.

"Come on", Red said, still using that soothing tone, one Belle hadn't heard before today. She cautiously got up from her seat and let herself be pulled towards the other girl. "Watch your step." Her shin knocked into the frame of the bed and she hissed in pain. Then she felt her way and climbed onto the bed. Red kept pulling at her hand until she was safely placed right next to her. Belle crawled up into a ball beside her and tugged herself into the Red's side. In this moment she didn't care that the girl was sick and maybe contagious, she just couldn't stand to be alone in the blackness. Red put her arm around her and held her close.

"Better?"

"A little", Belle admitted. From here she could take in the scent of the girl. It was still laced with fever, but something sort of sweet too. Not quite like any human scent she had encountered before, but then again she couldn't remember having ever been this close to a girl, who wasn't her mother. And that was a long time ago. There was something special about being so close to Red, that she felt a little ambivalent about. Her warmth was relaxing, but the thought in itself made Belle really self-conscious. She could hear Red's steady breathing and tried to synchronize her own with it. This calmed her, breath by breath. She tried to focus on feeling the warmth from Red's skin or her hand gently stroking Belle's shoulder instead of seeing the darkness in front of her.

"Try closing your eyes. Then it's just like sleeping", Red suggested. Belle obeyed. It felt a little weird, but she could imagine falling asleep tugged into the girl like this and in the end it helped.

"So, you're afraid of the dark?" There was no amusement in her voice; it was just a simple question.

Belle kept her eyes closed as she answered: "Yes. Ever since I was little…" She hesitated for a moment, but then added: "My mother died during a blackout."

"I'm sorry. What happened? I mean, if you don't want to tell me, it's fine, but-"

"No, it's okay", Belle said, cutting her off. She wanted to tell the story to Red, even if it wasn't good. "It was just a stupid accident, really. I was caught in the cellar and my mother tried to get to me. She stumbled over something – I never found out what – and fell back into the wall. She hit her head on a sharp edge and it killed her instantly. I didn't see it happen, but I heard most of it. I remember sitting there waiting for the light to come back, frozen, and just calling for my mother without getting any answer. I was eight. I didn't like the dark before, but I've been afraid of it ever since that day."

"That's… God, I'm sorry, that must have been terrifying." Red rubbed her shoulder a little more to emphasize her words.

"It was. And every time I experience something like this I just feel like I'm losing myself. I don't know what to do."

"It's completely understandable. And we'll just stay here until the light comes back. I'm sure they are trying to fix it down there."

"Yeah…" Belle didn't even think about what this meant for the remaining customers. And the kitchen. She was grateful she hadn't still been down there when it happened. Or on the stairs, balancing two meals. She would have been so lost. To her luck she had been in here with Red, who was ready to guide her and save her. Who seemed to have everything under control.

"Red?"

"Yeah?"

"You could see that I was holding the bowl. You could see my hand, when I couldn't see yours. How?"

It took a while before the answer came. "I guess my eyes are more used to the dark than yours."

"Maybe…" But they'd have to be a _lot_ better. There was no difference at all to Belle at all when she opened her eyes: The room was just as black. She closed them again and inched a little further into the girl. Her warmth wasn't just the lingering fever, it wasn't just that moist, feeble heat. It was something else too. Like the girl was just naturally radiating warmth.

"I'm glad you're here. And that you're not as scared as I am."

She heard a chuckle coming from the other girl. "Guess I don't scare that easily."

"You're lucky."

"I guess."

They fell quiet for a moment and Belle squeezed her eyes shut, while trying to stay calm. She wished she could be unafraid like Red, but the dark just felt so threatening. She thought it was because of the memories. The feeling of sitting in a room and somewhere, almost within touching distance, her mother had been lying dead and she could not get to her or even see her. Not knowing if she could have actually reached her and helped. Right now the dark could hold some other terrifying mystery that she couldn't solve before the light was let back in.

"It's too quiet in here", Belle said, desperate to free herself of the haunting memories. She received a little squeeze.

"Why don't you tell me something then? You were telling me about what books you like just before the light went out."

"Oh, um okay... Well, I-I especially like reading about adventures…"

"What kinds?"

"All kinds. Just the rush of experiencing something out of your own ordinary world, it's so thrilling to read about." Red urged her to keep talking and Belle did, explaining plots and mysteries and telling Red about every single one of her favorite stories. This way time seemed to go faster, the hours they must have spent sitting there felt like they didn't last as long. She was still talking when the lights came back, her throat sore from speech. Even then Red didn't let her go until she felt ready to move again.

* * *

><p>The following evening everything was back to normal and the lights fixed. Belle was at work again, serving the dozens of evening beers. Walking around in here she overheard great many conversations and mostly she brushed them off. She felt it rude to eavesdrop and always hurried along, but today one conversation caught her ears and lingered.<p>

"She looks just like any other girl."

"Well, she's not, I can tell you that."

"Yeah, you know, I've heard all the rumors. They say she's a real monster. The pretty face is just a façade, there's a _real_ beast in there. Animals instinctively run from her."

Belle stopped in her track and turned her head towards the small group sitting at the table she had just passed. It was three young men, probably slightly older than her. They appeared to be soldiers of some sort. One of them was looking at a piece of paper, she couldn't see clearly from here. The one who spoke last was sitting with his front to her and his eyes were flashing with the excitement of anyone who's about to tell a great story.

The storyteller continued as Belle lingered between two tables: "They say she has the strength of twenty men. No one's ever caught her, she's too strong. Kills everything in her way."

"I guess man is the only creature stupid enough to chase her", the third one said, the one who had spoken secondly. Belle had her back to them at the moment and didn't dare turn around, afraid they would notice her eavesdropping.

A man a few tables forth snapped his fingers at Belle and she had to walk away from the conversation. She felt an anxiety grow. Especially at what the one with the flashing eyes had said about animals. Belle tried to shake it and went to take the man's order. It couldn't possibly be.

He ordered a beer and a meal of steak and rice. Belle was too preoccupied to notice his obvious advances and only threw him a vague smile as he padded her thigh. She found men like this repulsive, men who thought she was just a pretty thing to look at, but tonight is didn't upset her half as much as it normally would. The three men talking had already ordered earlier so she couldn't use that as an excuse, but walked by as much as she could to get information.

The one holding the paper was looking skeptical. "I'm having a hard time believing this. Who says she's even done any of those things, eh?" He was gesturing the paper in the air, still making it impossible for Belle to examine.

"You can ask anyone back in Westloch. They chased her out of there long ago, all afraid of her", said the man who was with his back to Belle.

"Yeah, a lot of the men there were stupid enough to try and take her on. It was probably a massacre."

"And when would I ever go to Westloch, huh?"

Belle got out of hearing range. Red hadn't said where she was from; she had been very secretive about that. God, was she even considering this? Didn't she owe the sick girl upstairs the benefit of the doubt? What Belle couldn't shake was the little things about Red that made her seem different from everyone else. Her predatory movements, the way she gazed at Belle with piercing eyes. The insects fleeing from her and that aura. Yet, although these observations made Belle believe there was something extraordinary about the girl, she was a sweet and polite girl. She had held Belle for four hours yesterday because Belle was scared. Belle might not really know anything about Red – who didn't wanted that name used in public – but Red was kind to her and she was definitely not this savage creature the men were portraying.

Belle dared stepping closer again, determined to hear something to disprove her foul suspicions.

"She's an outlaw for a reason. She killed a young boy in her home village, they say. And he was her friend", the man with his back to her said.

"I heard that too, it was brutal. He was torn up completely, the town was devastated."

"Guys come on, if no one lived to tell the tale how d'you know it's true? I mean look at her, _look_ at her!" At this the skeptical man holding the paper held it up in front of them. Belle almost dropped the can as she finally saw the picture. It was a poor sketch, but having sat beside her, watching her face as much as Belle had, the resemblance was definitely there. The drawing displayed a tall girl with long dark hair and a huge cloak with the hood drawn. She could recognize Red's high cheekbones in the sketch of the outlaw. And the eyes were hard to miss. Beneath the drawing was her name written:

_Red Riding Hood_

Belle started to snap for air and she rushed past the group of men before they could notice the color draining from her face.

It was true. The foreign girl in the room upstairs was an outlaw. This was why she wouldn't say her real name in the public or why her only request upon their meeting was to have the hood hidden. So much was undeniable. Yet, she couldn't be a monster. Or could she? Subconsciously Belle had felt this ever since the girl woke up. She was no stranger to dark forces. Something lured beneath this girl's skin. Something dark and unearthly. Belle knew now that whatever it was she should be afraid of it. She should run like the spiders, she should maybe even turn her in.

Yet Belle knew she would never do that. Those horrible rumors could be just that. And they mentioned nothing of the girl who had held her in the dark for hours, having Belle tell her about books to calm her down. They spoke nothing of the girl's sweet, captivating smile, once she let the caution go. Belle saw no reason to assume Red to be a mindless killer, when she clearly was not.

And it was more than that. Belle felt intrigued by her. Maybe it was the girl's alluring nature that covered up her obvious dark side, or maybe Belle was drawn to cases of rehabilitation. Either way Belle felt drawn to her.

She would have to confront her though. She wanted the truth. So she listened to nothing more of the three men's cruel tales, but finished her shift and walked straight to the room thereafter.

When she opened the door Red was sitting up, her eyes already fixated on Belle's face. Something changed in her expression as soon as their eyes met.

Belle closed the door carefully before turning around the face the girl on the bed again. When she found Red's eyes again the girl's expression was wary.

"Red, I need you to tell me the truth. The whole truth."

Her facial expression changed from wariness to alarm.

"You know?"


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I have changed the rating to M, mostly because there will be some pretty dark topics and violence in later chapters. I hope this doesn't put anyone off, just want to be on the safe side.**

**Chapter 7**

Red felt her heart start to beat faster, shooting blood too fast through her system as she watched Belle's pale face. It wasn't just that she'd be forced to run again, it was the shocked expression on the girl's face. Sweet Belle, now forced to hate her and fear her like everyone else.

Belle nodded, answering her question.

"How?"

"There was a group of men at the tavern tonight and they had a picture of you with the name Red Riding Hood written on it. That's why you didn't want to use your real name, isn't it?"

Red nodded once, her gaze fixed on the other girl's, trying like hell to decipher every little change in her face. At the same time Red wondered why she had returned to the room at all.

"They were saying all kind of horrible things about you, but I won't believe a word of it. I want to hear the truth from you." She started to move again, walking with more hesitation than before as she pulled out the chair and sat on it, facing Red. "Will you tell me?"

She was actually offering Red the choice not to. Red watched her with wonder as she sat on the chair, cross-legged, waiting for her to speak. For a moment Red considered if it would be better to tiptoe around the subject or give her the brutal truth. How much did she already know? Red decided that didn't matter. The wolf was out of the bag anyway. She owed Belle to tell her the truth and she was just gonna have to live with watching her go. Red took a deep breath and prepared herself. She shortly wondered what kind of reaction her confessions would bring about this time. Disgust? Hatred? Fright?

"I wasn't travelling through the forest; I was chased by a hunter. I'm… Whatever they said, Belle, I'm sure it's true."

"Well, tell me your version."

Red started again: "I'm not… entirely human. There's a monster inside of me that breaks out every full moon no matter how hard I try to contain it. The only thing that has ever stopped it is my hood. It's magical, you see, and it keeps me from turning. Only the hunter tore it with his sword and the magic seeped out of it. I turned and… I killed him." Red kept a close eye on Belle's face and a knot tied painfully in her stomach at the sight of her eyes widening. She said nothing, but kept looking at Red. Red couldn't hold her gaze, but looked down. "I can't control it. It's why I run. Before I had the hood I would always turn and kill someone and the word travelled, so I'm wanted dead in most of my own kingdom. At first we could make people believe that it was a wild animal, which when you think about isn't that much of a lie, but in the end people found out. That's when I ran away from home. It's been four years now. Most of the places I come to now, they've already heard of me and they send their soldiers after me. This is one of the few place I've been where people haven't recognized me immediately. The hunter must have chased me far. He was quick. The reason I got hurt was because I was focused on the hood and I didn't see him swing his sword. It was a silver blade, so… I honestly don't remember much from after I turned back and until I ran into you."

Red stopped for a moment and dared watching Belle's face again. She looked absolutely horrified and Red's stomach twisted with anxiety. Suddenly she felt like her world would crash in on itself, if the girl got up and left. _God, you're so stupid Red_. Why did she have to like this girl so much, just because she had taken care of her? But it wasn't just that. It was her smile, her adorable accent, her passion for something as distant to Red as books. The way she moved, such light steps that spoke of freedom and innocence. She must be something of an opposite of Red, but perhaps that was it. Red longed for innocence and freedom, but more than that she longed for Belle, she realized. Not because she was a personification of Red's desires, but because she made Red feel good about herself. Until now.

"I heard them say you killed a young boy at your village? In Westloch?" Her voice was impossible to interpret. It sounded like a simple question, one of curiosity only with only a hint of darkness at the edge. Red barely reacted to the notion that Belle now knew of her hometown back in Westloch. If she had she might have been frightened to learn just how much everyone seemed to know about her.

Red nodded and watched the girl's face grow darker. "Peter. He was my best friend and for a while something more. It was the night I realized what I was. Neither of us had any idea. They say that if you're cursed with the wolf it breaks out the first full moon after you turn thirteen. That was then. Please believe me, when I say that it was an accident. I had no idea and my grandmother, she… maybe she tried to warn me, but I had snuck out like I always did and she couldn't find me. I don't think she knew about the first moon either. It took us by surprise…" Red trailed off and looked at Belle with pleading eyes. She hadn't meant to plead, but if she could at least make Belle understand how difficult her monster was to control, Red could have hope that the girl in front of her wouldn't hate her, when they parted ways.

Belle had pulled a hand up in front of her mouth as if to underline the horror of what she was hearing. When she let her hand drop and spoke, Red held her breath without realizing it.

"I think I knew. That there was something about you. The men said that animals run from you and I've seen that, or insects in either case. You always move with such caution like a scared, well, animal. I can feel that, but coming to know you I just can't believe what they said. I heard them say that you would kill anything in your way", Red cringed at this, knowing it to be at least partly true, even it was outside her control, "but we're all still here. I'm here. I believe you Red. I believe that whatever's inside you it's out of your control."

Red gaped at her. This girl must be some kind of saint. Or the truth hadn't sunk in yet.

"So you're a… Werewolf then?"

Red nodded, speechless.

"I've read something about it once. How the moon affects you. I think I heard you that night, there was a howling-"

"Belle."

Belle cocked her head slightly to the side and looked at Red with question in her eyes. Her posture in the chair was remarkably relaxed. Red could only assume that of the two possible scenarios, causing Belle to act like this, it had to be the latter.

"Why are you still here?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, why haven't you gotten up and left yet? I really glad you believe me and that you're not disgusted with me like most people, honestly, you can't imagine how much, but it doesn't change that fact that I'm dangerous. There's a reason animals run from me by instinct and all the soldiers in the kingdom wants my head on a plate. I'm a monster and I always will be. And I have no protections spell anymore." Red said this with a growing desperation as her words seemed to have no significant effect on Belle. Now she even leaned forward.

"You don't seem like monster to me. You don't seem _dangerous_." She said the word with a grimace, like the word itself was appalling to her. "To me, you just seem like someone who's been hurt a lot."

"I _am_ the one who hurts", Red said in a dark voice.

"I don't believe that. Not on purpose anyway."

"That's the point!" Red threw her arms in the air in exasperation. "I have no control! I'm an accident waiting to happen. Come full moon the wolf _will_ come out, unless..."

"Unless what?" Belle was watching her intensely. Red sighed.

"Unless I can repair the hood."

To her surprise Belle's face lit up in a smile. "That's what we will have to do then. How is it done?"

Red pondered this in silence for a moment before she answered. Should she really tell her? Looking at Belle's naïve smile, she knew it would be difficult to keep her from going with her. Red couldn't have that. Not only did she not want to put Belle in harm's way, she was also… Distracting.

She looked at Belle again. She then sighed once more, finding it hard to deny Belle at least answers.

"I have to return to the dark wizard who made it. That's Rumpelstiltskin."

Belle's face fell and the smile faded from her lips. Inside Red there was a battle between ambivalent emotions. Belle might not want to go back to the place she had just escaped and this was supposed to be a good thing, but Red felt a sting of disappointment at that same thought. But she _should_ want to stay away. Red didn't want to go there herself if there was any other way.

"I know the way to the castle", Belle then said, leaving Red in disbelief once again.

"Belle…" She started, but trailed off at the look of determination on the girl's face. Red found her to be quite a stubborn girl.

"It could take you a whole week to get there, if you don't know the way. And I'm guessing you don't want to stop anyone to ask directions? There must be a little over two weeks until the next full moon. He's not an easy man to bargain with, you might need that extra time." Clever too.

Red tried a different approach: "But you said you just ran from his castle. You really want to go near that place again?" Belle had never actually used the word 'run', just that she was somehow fired, but Red recognized a fellow refugee when she saw one.

Belle hesitated with her answer this time and it seemed she had hit a soft spot.

"I don't know. I'm torn about that, but I want to help you."

"_Why_? You barely know me."

"I know enough", she simply said and the crooked smile returned. They shared a look and Red could taste something new in the air. A change in atmosphere. Red's infatuated mind fed on this change and she held Belle's gaze with a mimicking sideways smile and a silent gratitude. Belle became the first to tear her eyes away and she shifted nervously in her seat.

"Um, I think it's time to change your gaze, if that's okay? It shouldn't stay on for too long."

"Sure." Red started to get up, but paused for a second. "You know, I think I can do this myself now, if you don't want to." Red sincerely hoped she did.

"I don't mind", Belle said in a quieter voice as she looked at Red, while getting up. "Besides you can't reach around yourself properly."

"Okay, but at least let me make it easier for you by standing up for once."

"Are you okay with that?"

Red nodded. "Yeah, I'm feeling much better." She was actually. The fever must be withdrawing, because the sense of cold was fading and the dizziness was down to a minimum as she stood up and lifted her shirt to give Belle access to the bandage. It was different like this. Now that she was standing, it felt even less like a patient-caretaker situation. Belle must be feeling it too, because her movements showed more hesitation this time as she unwrapped Red's stomach. Red stood still, watching her. She only now realized that the other girl was almost a whole head shorter than her. Red could smell her hair and watch her changing expression from a safe hidden space above her.

Belle's eyes widened as the sore became exposed.

"Look at this, it's incredible! That wound was a finger deep six days ago."

"Fast healer", Red said with a smirk and debated internally whether to tell her that she dug out a piece of silver from of her stomach in order for it to heal. She decided against it and settled for: "It's one of the perks of being what I am."

"Well, it looks good. You'll be able to travel very soon. Alright hold still, I'll be right back with the fresh one. In the meantime let this get some air." She turned and left the room. Red tried to inspect the wound herself. It was now looking like a normal human flesh wound in process of healing just the way it should.

Belle returned shortly thereafter with the cleaner, whiter gaze in her hand. She closed the door behind her and stepped close to rewrap Red's body. The fresh layer of fabric felt good against her sore skin, but not nearly as good as Belle's soft hands tracing the gaze-covered skin, smoothing wrinkles out. Red stifled the urge to close the last bit of distance between them. To place mimicking touches on Belle's body and pull a little at those thick, soft-looking curls… _Pull yourself together, Red._

"Are you really sure you want to do this?" She asked instead.

"What, help you?" Belle looked up as she said it. _Good God, she's so close_. Her hands still lingered flat against Red's stomach, but just then she seemed to realize it and she let them drop. Red nodded. "Of course I am. Why?"

"Because I think you're gonna regret it."

Belle shook her head. "I don't think I will. Besides, it might be best that I return. That way I can talk to Rumpelstiltskin and sort some things out."

"Things like what?" Red asked with wary curiosity. She was aware that there was a lot Belle hadn't told her about her job there and whatever this was, it clearly wasn't just employment issues. Belle sighed and increased the distance between them. She looked around for a moment and then settled for the chair again, the whole time acting like this was a particularly trying subject.

"He and I, we… We had a complicated situation. My working there was a deal to save my kingdom with help from Rumpelstiltskin. I was supposed to stay at his castle and work for him for the rest of my days. Somewhere along the way we fell in love." Belle was talking slowly, like she was reliving the memories as she spoke them. Red had sat down on the bed and felt a new uncomfortable knot harden in her stomach, as Belle went on: "I think he fought it a lot. Myself, I didn't even realize it until I was in the middle of it. We only ever kissed once." Belle looked down as she said this and continued watching her own fiddling of hands. Red couldn't decide if it was out of shyness or pain. "It did something to him. It began to take away his magic. Like our love was cancelling his dark magical skills. When he realized this he broke away and panicked. He locked me back in the dungeon where I spent the first two weeks of my stay and he drew into himself again. Shut off from me, became malicious. In the end he chose his power over me. He began to shy further away from me and I barely ever saw him until one day I tried to confront him. He lost his temper, started tearing up the place and screamed at me to leave. I think he was afraid he would hurt me. And I ran. I feel bad that I did instead of consoling him. I accept that he can't love me and that there are parts of him too dark for a human heart, like my own, to hold, but I long for reconciliation. And I do want to help you. I might be a bigger help than you think."

Red nodded without speaking. She hadn't been prepared for this. The care with which Belle spoke of him. It felt like the knot in her stomach had branched out and was starting to strangulate all her remaining organs. She mentally kicked herself for having played too much with the thought of Belle and her soft touches before. She didn't even know if Belle felt any of the sorts. If she was even capable. That change in the air could have been anything. It could have been spun from her own hopeful mind, never even real. Red suddenly felt much more reluctant at the thought of going to Rumpelstiltskin's castle. When Belle finally finished telling her story, she looked up and Red was caught by the look of passing unhappiness in her eyes.

"I'm sorry" was all Red could muster.

"It's okay, I've come to terms with it, like I said." Red couldn't help but feel that this was a lie.

"But why you anyway?" She asked.

Belle smiled a little. Red didn't think she realized it herself and she felt a jab of jealousy at watching Belle relive another memory with the wizard.

"It was Rumple's condition for helping my father. For defending the kingdom. I asked Rumple the same thing, to which his answer was that he needed a maid, but really, I think he was lonely."

"Hm", Red mumbled. called him _Rumple_. "But why did your father…"

"He's the king of my kingdom", she said. This made Red forget her jealousy for a minute to stare at Belle with wide eyes and a gaping mouth.

"You're a _princess_?"

Belle snickered at Red. "Well, not anymore. I gave up that title when I went with Rumpelstiltskin."

Red was still astounded beyond words. Here she was, an outlaw by accident, a monster, and her beautiful caretaker was a princess. Actual royalty. It was as odd as having the queen serve you dinner. What was more impressive was that Belle _was _doing just that. A girl like her had without a doubt had a brighter upbringing than Red herself, one within a giant castle filled with servants and shiny objects. And now she was nursing Red all day and worked at the tavern to pay for their board and lodging.

"You are by far the bravest person I have ever met." Red paused to see the girl squirm in her seat under Red's admiring look. Then she added: "Even though you're afraid of the dark." She said it with a teasing smile and couldn't help the adoring tone. It made Belle smile with a quality of shyness. The notion gave Red a kind of hope she knew she shouldn't allow herself to feed on.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Belle surprised herself. She was tolerant by nature, but in the last year she had found herself surrounded by more criminals than law-abiding citizens. Rumple hadn't exactly been an outlaw, but he was feared and shied away from nonetheless. Same for this girl. Belle knew that trouble followed her, but as the initial shock of discovering her true nature had subsided and she had listened to Red's explanation, she was calmed. She felt soothed despite that Red had confirmed every suspicion. No, that wasn't true. The three men had described her as a monster, one that killed everything that stood in her way and she hadn't killed Belle. She was kind to her. Sometimes she looked at Belle in a way that made her nervous and lightheaded. There was something about her that drew Belle in, but she couldn't put her finger on what it was. And she didn't know what to do with it.

Sitting on this chair yesterday in front of the girl, watching her tell her story with avoiding eyes and occasional stolen glances, Belle could tell she was looking for hatred. Searching for repulsion in Belle's face. Belle just couldn't bring those kinds of emotions to a surface. She also knew that there must be more to the story, but she didn't want to push her. For now they had a more pressing matter. With travelers starting to wave around papers with Red's face on it wouldn't be long before someone in the house realized who they had for guest. They needed to leave.

Belle looked at Red's sleeping face. She rarely caught her sleeping, now that she was almost back to health. Even at night when Belle woke from foreign sounds, she would be awake, staring out the window with what looked like a preoccupied stare. Even so she always seemed to know when Belle was watching her. Belle had come to realize that all of those little signs of awareness must be due to her wolf nature. Belle smiled to herself. As Red lay there, peacefully sleeping, it was impossible to imagine her being anything other than a young and beautiful, misunderstood woman. How would a wolf – probably that same creature, whose howling had terrified her – break out of this smooth, pale skin? How could those slim hands claw up someone's throat? How could those lips hide a fang strong enough to snap a neck? She had read all those things about werewolves, but never had she seen one in real life. Until now. And she couldn't make the little predatory notions she had observed fit. She couldn't merge the image of a savage wolf, larger than a bear, with this sleeping girl lying before her. It just didn't fit. _The pretty face is just a façade,_ one of the men had said. Her face didn't feel like a façade to Belle.

The pretty face was now grimacing and soon her eyes snapped open. She never woke peacefully; she always woke up with a jolt, like she was ready to jump and run if necessary. It made Belle think that those four years she had been running must have been a living nightmare.

"Where you really hunted for four years?" Belle asked, somewhat hoping Red would deny it or say something to make Belle feel better.

She looked confused for a moment, but then sat up and drew a sigh.

"Yeah pretty much."

"I just don't understand why. You are so kind and polite and so … and I don't understand how no one else can see that. It's despicable."

Red chuckled, but the sound was mostly humorless.

"Wow, you really don't know me."

"Are you sure? Because I feel like I do. And I would never want to drive you away."

This seemed to have some kind of unexpected impact on her, because she fell silent and stared at Belle with that intense, slightly astounded look in her green eyes. The corner of her mouth twitched as if forming a smile, but then she shut her eyes down and looked at the floor instead.

"You need to understand Belle, I- Very few have actually met me. After I… ran from home I had already been turning frequently for two years. I had already established quite a reputation and at places I hadn't it only took until the next full moon to get that job done. At first they didn't realize that it was me, but after being caught transforming a few times the rumor spread. I was a teenager; it was hard enough to control my human body, let alone the wolf. I caused a lot of rampage. I killed a lot of people. I don't know how many, because I always black out when I turn, but I know I did. So soon people would chase me out at first sight. Some started to hunt for me. Even after I got the hood, people knew what I was and they didn't want to take any chances."

Belle felt tears in her eyes, tears of sympathy for Red. The thought of Red killing people was horrifying, but in Belle's head it wasn't Red killing anyone. It was the monster inside her. Belle felt she could only fully understand if she saw them as two individuals tragically bound to each other.

"I'm sorry."

Red shook her head, looking slightly irritated. "Don't feel sorry for me. It is what it is. It's not like I was all alone _all_ the time. Sometimes I could stay in a town for a few days, drink a couple of beers with foreigners and let go. I've had good days. And good nights." At this she smiled. "I met this girl, Aurora, once. Wow, she could really dance. And we had a great time, but… in the morning I made the mistake of telling her about me. She was completely terrified and had the whole town chase me out with torches and every sharp object they could find. It was a primitive town. And that story has repeated itself most places I've come to."

In Belle's mind this faceless Aurora was swirling around. She couldn't believe herself. Of all the horrifying things Red was sharing with her, her mind got stuck on trying to decipher exactly what had happened with some girl? Belle had a pretty good idea what and the thought of it was sending heated blood through her veins. _I am jealous?_ She looked up and realized that Red was watching her now. For once Belle didn't know what to say.

When Belle didn't answer Red went on: "Anyway, it's my life and it's just how it is. It's not like I've known any different. By the way, shouldn't you be getting to work?"

Belle was suddenly reminded that it was morning and she should indeed. "Oh you're right. But listen… we need to get out of here soon. Before anyone recognize you from that poster."

"You don't have to go anywhere. I'm the only one that's wanted. I'm healed enough to move, I can leave tomorrow."

"_We_ can leave tomorrow", Belle corrected before getting up. She left before Red could disagree with her.

Belle found the owner as soon as she had a break and explained the situation to him. Rather what she said was that they had to leave because Ruby wanted to get home to her family and as they lived in an entirely different kingdom, they needed to start as soon as possible. Belle spoke in a polite but firm voice to make sure Magnus knew they were leaving no matter what.

Magnus looked unhappy at the news. "Well, I'm sad to see you go Belle. You've been a great help both to me and my son. Are you sure Ruby is well enough to travel? You've only been here a little over a week."

"Her fever is gone and the injury is healing very well, I've examined it myself twice every day." She left out the part where there was actually only a thin line of scab left and very little redness. It was truly marvelous how fast she healed.

"I guess that's it then. Tomorrow morning?" Belle nodded. "Alright. I'd like to meet the girl before you leave."

Belle was prepared for this, but as she told the cover story she felt uncertain it was good enough. "Um, she's afraid the infection she got might still be contagious, so she'd rather not. It would be a shame to get you sick after all you've done for us." Belle sent him her best smile, hoping it had some effect. Magnus still looked skeptical.

"But you're not sick and you spent every day with her."

"Yes well, I must have developed immunity. Or maybe I'm just lucky."

The owner sent her another suspicious glance, but the kindness of his eyes soon returned and he shrugged it off.

"Fine, do as you please."

"Thank you Magnus. I, um, have another favor to ask." He gave her a look as if to say that she was pushing it now. Belle went for it anyway, pressured by the thought of having to eat roots and berries for another three days: "Would it be possible to take some provisions with us? Just enough to get to the next village. I promise to work twice as hard for it today."

Magnus sighed, but it was obvious to Belle that the man cared for her and she could see him give in. "Only if you get to work right away. And your friend can keep the clothes, my wife doesn't want it back."

"Thank you Magnus!" Belle gave him a hug and a peck on his rough cheek before leaving the room.

The three men who had spoken of Red were nowhere to be seen today. Maybe they had already moved on. As much as Belle despised the mean things they said – and it couldn't possibly be true all of it, how could it when they themselves had never met Red? – she worried that they had gone on spreading rumors somewhere else. What if someone had caught a glimpse of Red on the way in and figured out that she was here?

Belle's thoughts were drowned in the noise of bellowing men, ordering beers and meals all at the same time. She hoped Magnus would hire someone new when she left tomorrow, this was complete chaos. Belle thought that the reason the noise overtook her like that, was because it had been so silent for so long. In the six months or so she had lived in Rumpelstiltskin's castle, before she was sent away, it had been so quiet all the time. For hours at a time the only sound would be the low creaking of his spinning wheel. He had a habit of spinning straw to gold. Belle had asked him on several occasions, why spin so much gold, when he was already rich.

"I like the color", he would usually say. "I like shiny things." One time he told Belle it soothed him and kept him distracted.

"From what?" Belle had asked. She had dared sit down on the edge of the table not far from him.

"Everything", he simply said. He didn't say more than that, but one day Belle had found clothes that were meant to fit a little boy. It took her two weeks to build up the courage to ask about it.

One day she decided she could ask him. He wasn't the evil man everyone made him out to be. He had a dark side, no doubt, one that was well developed and had a tight grip on him, but no one was solely dark and Belle knew that. She asked him after serving them dinner. At first she hadn't dared speaking, but settled for watching the man until her curiosity became too much for him.

"What is it?" He asked, but not unkindly.

"The other day, when I was cleaning I found… Little boy's clothes."

"You weren't supposed to clean that department", he had said at first with a cool voice while staring straight ahead.

"I'm sorry, I just… It was so filthy and I wanted to be thorough. I had no idea it was a child's bedroom."

"It isn't. Not anymore."

"So there was a son?" For a long time Rumpelstiltskin said nothing, but stared into space with his hands folded in front of him. The food was left untouched on his plate. Belle bit her tongue and waited for him to speak first. The atmosphere around him then hadn't been of malice and death like the rumors described him, like her own father had described him, but of pain. He finally looked at her and she saw something in his eyes. A deep kind of longing that made tears crawl to her eyes.

"There was. He and his mother are gone now."

"Are they dead?" Belle whispered.

"I don't know. I haven't seen them since we first started living here." As far as the rumors went Rumpelstiltskin had lived here as far back as Belle could count and he had always lived here alone. The stories never mentioned a wife or child. Belle thought some cruel narrator had left that out to serve the purpose of betraying Rumpelstiltskin as an evil man. Right now he looked like nothing of the sort.

"What were their names?"

It took a while for him to answer, but when he finally did he looked Belle right in the eye. "Milah and Baelfire."

Belle nodded slowly. "I'm sorry for your loss", she said then. She had reached out, meaning to touch his arm, but he pulled away and excused himself from the table without even touching the meal on the table.

Belle was brought back to reality by the plate that was shoved into her arms.

"Hurry up Belle, we have full house tonight. Magnus said you were working double tonight, so get moving!" His tone wasn't mad, but stressed and the slender boy, who helped out in the kitchen, hurried back there for more plates.

She had never gotten the story of why Rumple's wife had left him and taken his child, because two weeks into the future from there she had dared kissing him and all hell had broken loose inside the man. She could still see that expression of terror on his face as his skin color turned from his own shade of greyish green to a normal skin tone, spreading from the lips where she had kissed him. He had jolted up from his chair and screamed at her that she just wanted to take his powers from him. No matter how much she tried to deny it, every word fueled the furious flames inside him. He had thrown her back in the dungeon where she had cried all night. Sometimes she thought she shouldn't have done it, but it had felt right in the moment. She always went by her intuition and it had said he wanted her to. On some level she still believed that he had, but he was too afraid of the cost. He had let her in, but in the end he was too afraid to let her stay there.

He even tried to make her leave on her own once. She wasn't sure he knew that she had been aware of what he was up to, but it had been obvious to her. He had let her take the carriage to town for small purchases all by herself. This was only a month ago, but it felt like a year. She remembered everything vividly though, especially the ride. The carriage had been pulling itself, no horses were needed. It was like the wagon had come to life and worked on its own. She had known from the beginning of the trip that this was his way of seeing if she would run away, giving the chance. Back then nothing had been further from her mind. She had developed feelings for him; she was drawn to that dark side of his, because she knew she could help him through it. She knew that if he just let her, she could stick her hands into that darkness and pull those heavy curtains apart to let the light in. She never had the chance though. She had returned and soon thereafter every hope of reaching the man's blackened heart had vanished into the air.

Belle cast a glance towards the staircase. Here was another story that was repeating itself. Hopefully she could twist the ending this time.

* * *

><p>It was past midnight when Magnus told her to go rest.<p>

"You'll need that strength for your trip. I'll make sure Grady sets something aside for you."

"Thank you Magnus", Belle said and dragged her tired body up the stairs. She was could almost smell the bed linen. It didn't matter that the mattress was hard and lying on the floor, she just couldn't wait to lie down.

When she entered the room, Red was sitting up, staring at her. Or rather, piercing her eyes with those deep greens. Looks like that made Belle feel like the girl was staring right through her, burning holes in her brain.

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to come with me", she said as soon as Belle had closed the door.

Belle sighed. "We discussed this, I'm coming. You could use my help as a time-saver and I… I don't want to leave you just yet."

Red opened her mouth, but then closed it again. On second try she said: "That's not a discussion, that's just you telling me what to do. I just don't think you understand that this won't be easy. And I'm not good company to keep Belle, what if you got hurt?"

"What are you talking about?" Belle sat down on the chair and leaned into Red. She saw the girl's body quiver slightly as she did. "There's plenty of time until the next full moon and so far I haven't seen one thing that should make me run away from you." Belle's mind betrayed the lie, flashing images of fleeing insects and that bestial smile on her face the night with the mouse. She shook the images away and smiled instead. "I think you _are_ good company. Besides, I told you, I have my own reason for revisiting the castle."

"Right, that", Red mumbled sourly.

"Do you not want me with you?" Belle asked, feeling a sudden jab of insecurity. What if she just didn't want any more to do with her? She was all healed up now; she didn't really need Belle for more than directions.

"No it's not that, I want you here, I'm just… Okay, but promise me that if things get out of control, you run okay? You run from me." That piercing stare was back, but Belle tried to resist its persuasiveness.

"I won't run from you. I'm not afraid of you."

"You should be. Just promise me Belle."

Belle shook her head. "I won't run."

"_Promise me!_" Red snarled. Her teeth were bared as she did and something raw and animal-like had crept into her voice. Belle flinched and the chair creaked as it was pushed back a little.

"O-okay, I promise", she whispered. She didn't dare take her eyes off Red, whose entire pose had changed the second she raised her voice. Only now she seemed to realize it and the crouching posture eased up while shock painted her features.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry Belle, I didn't mean to lose it like that. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine", Belle said slowly, making sure the words were true, when she spoke them. "If it's okay with you, I'd like to sleep now. I'm really tired from working so many hours."

"Of course. Here-" Red stood up from the bed and gestured towards it. "Take the good bed tonight. I'm fine with sleeping on the floor."

"No, Red, you're sick-"

"Not anymore, I'm fine, see." She drew up the shirt enough for Belle to see the remains of the injury. Red had taken off the gaze and left on her body was only a reddish line, Even the scab from this morning was gone. Belle couldn't believe her own eyes and had to remind herself that she was dealing with a girl who 'wasn't entirely human', as she had put it herself.

"It looks good", she admitted. "You should put the gaze back on tonight though. But if it's really okay with you-"

"It is", she said quickly. Belle got the feeling she was trying to make up for scaring her before. She decided to accept it.

"Okay then. It would be nice actually. You want any help with the bandage?"

"Sure", Red said with a crooked smile that triggered a mimicking smile on Belle's lips. Belle got up and took the gaze from the table, where Red had put it and wrapped it around her again. Smoothing out the fabric like she always did she could feel the tight contour of Red's stomach. She was really muscular for a girl. And very slender. She was built like there was nothing on her body that wasn't supposed to be there. Belle herself might have a few pounds at places, having eaten quite well at Rumpelstiltskin's castle after he decided she could join him at meals. This girl had none of that. She was built like… like nature designed any creature meant to withstand the wild. Only made up from what was necessary to survive.

"Are you about done there?" Red asked. When Belle looked up she was still wearing that crooked smile.

"Yes, sorry, I just got lost in thought. You're ready."

"I don't mind", she said with a smile that was almost flirtatious. It took Belle another second to tear herself away from that notion. Red seemed to enjoying herself. Belle shook her head and went to bed as Red turned off the lights. "Good night", she said. Belle was already half asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thank you for all the support, it totally makes my day! As you have now probably realized, Belle's story is a lot like the one in the show (so extra special disclaimer for not owning Belle's background story), just because I thought it fitted well. Red's however is a slightly different one. **

**Chapter 9**

Red had lain awake for a while, suddenly overcome with certainty that at any moment soldiers would come barging through those doors, having finally realized she was right here under their noses. That in itself wasn't a problem; she had escaped tight spots before, but what about Belle?

_Well, maybe she'll finally realize what a vile monster of an outlaw you are_, a mean voice in her head suggested. Something told her Belle wouldn't. It was like every warning seemed to fly right past her. Living with Rumpelstiltskin must have done something to her, Red felt sure of it. No one ignored danger when it was spitting her in the face. She had almost lost control tonight. She could feel her grip on the creature slipping at times like that. Normally the wolf would hibernate until the next full moon and even more so due to the magic of the hood, but whenever her emotions were thrown out of balance, pushed towards any kind of extreme, the wild creature within her would wake up and it's untamed nature seep through into her conscious mind. With the hood torn it was harder to contain those animalistic outbursts.

Belle seemed to be one of those triggers to throw her out of balance. Red sighed into the dark air. _You're so stupid Red. You can't do it to her_.

But she wanted to. She didn't mean to smile like that at Belle or tease her with the gaze, but this girl had a spell on her. One she had to break, because who was she to lure in a sweet, innocent girl like Belle? It was just plain selfish. Sweet, innocent girls like Belle got themselves in trouble. She could easily convince herself that Belle was different from most girls – or boys for that matter – she had met, but bottom line was that it wouldn't affect the outcome. When Red tried to convince Belle that she had a normal life sometimes, she had chosen the story of Aurora for two reasons. For one thing because she wanted to see Belle's reaction and she had been shamefully pleased to watch a hint of jealousy creep into Belle's expression as she told the story. The other reason was that this was an example of a 'good' outcome of a flirt. Then there had been another girl. Same beginning, great dancer, great kisser. Great night. Only this girl had never seen the light of day. It had been too close to wolfstime. At some point Red had woken up to the smell of blood and empty eyes staring into space. She had liked that girl too much, her emotions were thrown out of balance and she had been careless about the moon. As some point her nails had become claws and her teeth become fangs and she had torn her up from the neck down. Red had never run away faster than on that particular morning.

She looked up at the bed above her. Belle was snoring lightly, deep asleep. She had a chance to get up and leave now. She should. Belle would be disappointed, maybe even hurt, but it would be the right thing to do. Yet she didn't. She wasn't strong enough to resist temptation it seemed.

When the morning came she woke up Belle and snuck out of the building dressed in Belle's beige hood to cover her face. It was a little short, but wearing this was only until they found her own hood. Out in the forest she could wear it as she pleased, no one would get them there.

Belle had gone in to say goodbye. In the meantime Red took in the village from her partially hidden spot behind the corner of the tavern. She hadn't been conscious when she was brought here and for something close to two weeks she hadn't seen anything but the inside of that room. It would have been unbearable if she hadn't been sick most of the time. Now it felt really good to stretch her legs and suck in gulps of fresh air. It would be even better out in the woods.

Around the corner from the front entry came Belle, holding a huge basket of bread and fresh water for the trip.

"Why don't I take that", Red offered. The basket seemed obscenely large, dangling beside Belle's short body.

"It's not that heavy", she protested, but Red took it anyway.

"I'm still stronger than you. And no one associates an outlaw with little girls carrying bread baskets."

Belle snickered. "That's probably true. You ready?"

"I've been ready all morning. Lead the way", she gestured for Belle to walk and sent her another curled smile. _Stop it_.

Belle returned the smile widely and started walking. Red pulled the hood further down over her face and started walking too, while trying to look like someone who belonged. That was never her strong suit.

The cape of the hood kept flapping around at her calves, led by the wind. Red was looking forward to give it back to Belle and wear her own. She didn't like to admit it, but wearing the red hood gave her a sense of power, because of what it meant to other people. She blamed the wolf for feeling like that, but deep down she knew it wasn't the beast entirely.

"Are you okay?" Belle asked her. Red followed her eyes as they flickered to her wounded side and back up again.

"I told you I'm fine. I'm all healed up, so you can stop fussing so much." She said it with a teasing smile she couldn't contain and added: "How about you? Are you sure you aren't freezing without you hood?"

Belle shook her head. "No, I'm fine. No, really it's only a little chilly. I can manage until we get into the forest. It's more important that you have it now." She almost whispered the last part, even though no one was close enough to hear her. The main road, which led out of town wasn't that crowded today. Red wasn't sure if it had been better to have a massive crowd to disappear into, but for now there were no threats.

In some way this was completely different from every escape she had made in the last years. No one had ever followed her on her journey out before. She had stolen clothes to hide away in from time to time and walked out, hoping not to be seen, just like this, but never with a girl smiling as she walked beside her. The lightness of her steps was even more evident out in the open. Her every movement was a complete opposite to Red's calculated steps and reserved movements. Belle kept her pace, but her walking was more energetic, bouncing almost. Red had a dominant instinct preventing her from ever using more energy than necessary. She never knew when she would suddenly be recognized and forced to run like hell.

"You're really cheerful today", Red commented. The bouncing of Belle's steps subsided a little and she flashed a shy smile.

"Well, it's just nice to be outside. It's such a beautiful day."

"Yeah, I guess it is." She hadn't really noticed. Apart from noting whether it rained or snowed or the sun was shining, she never paid much attention to the visual presentation of the weather.

The town lived up to its name. The 'tiny' part that was. Of the estimated five hour walk they had until they reached the part of the forest where Belle had left her hood, none but ten minutes was spent on walking in town. Red was grateful. The sooner she could get away from people the better. She sighed internally in relief as they exited the small village and the cobblestone road became one of grit.

"Are you sure you know exactly where it is?"

"Yes I am, don't be nervous."

"I'm not." She was. She couldn't bear thinking about what would happen if she lost it for good. She would be forced to deal with the turn again. It was enough that she felt it scratching her on the insides, trying to break through her skin every day, she never wanted it back in its solid form again if she could help it. If it broke out again… that was the thought she didn't want to finish.

As if her mind was an open book for Belle to read, the girl turned to her with a determined, yet curious look on her face.

"What's it like? When you turn?" She met the girls gaze for a moment, but looked away to focus on the passing trees instead. She didn't like to show weakness like this, but it just wasn't a topic suited for conversation.

"I don't want to talk about it Belle."

"Red, I don't think you're a murderer. I know the wolf has killed, but it isn't you. I just want to understand how it works."

Red sighed. The pleading in Belle's voice was hard to ignore.

"I can feel my body changing. When the turn begins. My body breaks apart to become bigger and my thoughts start to… I don't know how to explain it, but disappear I guess. They become vague and at last my mind is wiped clean. My vision blackens and I black out. I never know exactly what happens after the blackout. I just wake up somewhere." She didn't look at Belle while she talked, but she could feel the blue eyes fixed on her, burning into the side of her face. Belle's curiosity seemed to be able to overshadow anything, especially the morbidity of everything Red ever told her.

"Does it hurt?"

Red shrugged, still looking straight ahead. "I'm used to it."

"And the hood keeps you from turning."

Red nodded.

"But I was wondering. There are more out there like you, right. Anyone you know?"

Red didn't know if she wanted to answer this. She cast a quick glance on Belle, who was still watching her as they walked. Her eyes shone differently out here in the sun. The dull light of the room at the tavern didn't bring out the brightness that Red was now witnessing. It made it even harder to resist her.

"My mother", she admitted. "It's inherited."

"So she was born a werewolf? Like you."

Red nodded again. "She was. It started with my grandmother. She got bit once and then she was marked."

"So is she also-"

"No. Being marked doesn't necessarily turn you. Her mark wasn't… deep enough, is the only way I can describe it. But she was cursed and her daughter – my mother – was born one."

"Is she hunted too?"

Reds shook her head. She didn't like turn this conversation had taken, but it seemed the stone had started rolling downhill and she didn't know how to stop it. She couldn't explain to herself why it was so nice to finally talk about this. It felt like if she could tell Belle the whole story, she could finally untie a few strings from the knot curled up in her gut. Belle received every word with curiosity and not the slightest sign of fear. Red wasn't oblivious to the fact that she had scared Belle once or twice by accident, but the girl never shied away. She decided to tell her as much as Belle could stand to hear. This part of her story she could actually bear to tell.

"No, my mother wasn't hunted. She always lived isolated and she would run around in the woods every full moon, howling. I used to hear her when I was little. My father and grandmother would take care of me and make sure I stayed inside. When I was little I didn't understand what my mother was and I when I was told that she turned into a wolf and sung me lullabies in wolf-language, I just thought of her as some sweet fuzzy thing. When I got older I started to understand what she really was. And why my father would look so sad in the morning after the full moon. She killed. And she enjoyed it. Mostly it was just the animals living in the forest, but if someone travelled into the woods during the full moon, they never came out again."

Red remembered the morning she finally understood what was happening at night. Her mother was coming home and Red had already been up. When her mother had entered the cottage they were living in, she had caught the scent of blood. She had an exceptional sense of smell already and so did her grandmother, due to being cursed. Her father had been oblivious until the moment granny yelled.

"Anita! What have you done?" She then barged into the room where Red and her father were sitting on the floor, as her father read to her.

"What's happening?" He had asked. Red remembered the concern in his voice. She had been only eight, but her senses were sharp.

"Take Red for a walk", was all Granny had said. Her father had been filled in later and no one ever explained to Red what was suddenly so different about that morning. Red knew though. The blood on her mother was human blood. That was the first time she had killed a man.

"Could she control the wolf?" Belle's voice broke her out of the memories.

"There's no controlling the wolf", Red said solemnly.

"Have you tried?"

"No." Red sighed, preparing herself for the hard part of the story. "But I watched my mother try and she was driven insane in the process." Red met Belle's gaze. The smile had completely vanished from her lips as she stared back, waiting for Red to speak. "My mother wasn't evil. She was odd in some ways and had eccentric ideas, like naming me after her favorite color, but she was a good person. With a curse. After we realized she was killing people, we talked to her. Or the other did anyway. She started seeing the wolf as the curse it is. I never heard her admit that she liked the control killing gave her, but I knew though. Anyway, my father didn't like the thought of his wife being a killer and they all agreed it was a bad example to set for me. They were all sure it was a taint I had inherited, so my mother decided she would learn to control it, so she in turn could show me when the time came. I think she also thought that control would stifle some of the urges. Only it didn't work. She tried to let the wolf into her own head, but she never should have. It's a wild creature. An untamed mindset like that is not suited for a human brain. At first she would just isolate herself and she always seemed confused about where she was. There was no recognition in her face. At times she couldn't even speak, but merely growled instead. She always kept outside and whenever she was in the house I was kept away from her. My father used to say that the women in my family have quite a temper, but that's an understatement for how my mother reacted. She was boiling with rage always and at the slightest thing she would lash out. Around that time both my father and Granny tried to make her stop, but she refused. Once in a while she cleared up and became her normal self – almost anyway – and I was allowed to talk to her for a little bit. Then I would be sent to my room and Granny and my father would try to talk her out of her plan. Of course with my ears and such a small home I could still hear everything. My mother insisted on going through with it. She said she had to do it for me. So I would know what to do. It only got worse after that."

Red recalled the bestial smile that seemed to be the only expression her mother wore once her mind broke. She would sometimes come into the house, walking around slowly and dragging her claws across every surface, making a high pitched screeching that followed her around. Red would hide in her room and listen to her grandmother and her father try to talk to her mother in soothing tones, hoping nothing would upset her.

"She never ate with us or stayed in the house for more than ten minutes at a time. She didn't even look like herself. I mean she did, but something changed in her face. It was weirdly vacant, like she wasn't even there. She would smile this creepy smile whenever I saw her and then walk on. I don't think she even knew who I was at that point. Her body changed too, sort of. Mostly her posture and her nails. She had real claws instead and her teeth were all sharp. When we turn our eyes change from whatever color they have to gold. Her eyes looked like that all the time. Her clothes used to be torn because she clawed it to shreds and her hair was messy because she slept on the ground. It was like having a ghost walk around in our lives. Anyway, one day she just snapped completely. Like I said, the slightest thing would set her off. I'm not even sure what it was, maybe my dad just stood in the way because she suddenly roared and stabbed her clawed hand into his stomach. I remember this quite vividly because I just coming around the corner to see if she was gone. The screeching had stopped so I thought she left. I watched her kill my father. He fell to the ground and I started screaming. My mother turned towards me and she… smiled. God, I'll never forget that smile." Red sniffled and realized she had tears in her eyes. She wiped them away angrily and finished her story. "Granny heard me scream so she came running in and saw what had happened. When my mother started to leap forward Granny shot her five times with silver arrows from her crossbow. I forgot to mention that Granny always carried around a crossbow, ever since my mother started merging with the wolf. I used to ask her why and well… that was why. I remember just standing there staring at my mother with five holes in her, until Granny grabbed my arm and pulled me with her. We fled the cottage and never looked back. Settled down a new place. And yeah, no I haven't tried to control the wolf. My mother was strong, stronger than me. If she couldn't do it, I don't even want to try."

When Red finally finished her story she felt a new set of tears pressing at the corners of her eyes. She had never spoken of this before. She dared cast a glance of Belle, unsure what she would be met with.

Belle's blue eyes were full of tears and her face twisted with silent crying.

"Red, I'm so sorry. Please, you don't have to say anymore. Oh my God, I had no idea…" Then she started crying for real.

"No, hey, stop for a second." Red sat down the basket and put an arm on each of Belle's shoulders. "How could you have known?"

"I know, I just… I sat there those days ago telling you about how my mother died and I had no idea. You actually _watched_ her being killed?"

Red thought it was a little hypocritical of her to play the composed one when tears were running down her own cheeks, but she tried to collect herself anyway as she nodded. The pain wasn't as sharp anymore and she thought the tears were more of relief at finally letting it out rather than of sorrow.

"Come here", she said and pulled Belle into an embrace. "Everyone is allowed to be sad about how their mother's die. You didn't say anything wrong."

Belle sniffled and hugged herself closer to Red. Her arms reached around Red's waist and her face was buried in her clothes just below her neck. She could already feel the thin fabric being soaked in tears. The pain she had had of reliving the horrible memories quickly crept away to the back of her mind where they had home, and she felt soothed by the mere presence of Belle in her arms. She stroked the girl's hair and shushed her gently.

"I'm sorry Belle, I shouldn't have said so much. I just wanted to be honest with you."

"No", Belle mumbled and she loosened herself from Red's embrace, just enough to be able to look up at her. "I'm glad you did. I didn't mean to take it so hard, I'm just… God all the things you've been through. It's a lot to take in."

"It's fine. It is what it is."

"It's not fine Red. It's horrible. I'm just amazed you're holding it together." Red smiled vaguely. _You have no idea_.

"Okay it's horrible. But I'll live. Now dry those tears and don't waste any more of them on me, okay?" She drew out a hand from Belle's back to wipe the falling tear off her face. Belle smiled as she touched her.

"I'll try. What do you say we walk on now?"

"Sounds good. No more sad stories, I promise."

"Good. Do you maybe have one happy childhood memory to make me feel better?"

Red snorted and pretended to look insulted. "You make it sound like my childhood was all death and destruction." Belle gave her a warning look. "Okay, point taken. Do you want to hear how Peter and I accidentally lost three sheep from the nearby farm when we were told to look after them, because we were playing hide and seek?"

"I'd love to… Red?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you hold my hand?"

Red stared at her for a second or two, slightly taken aback by the request. Was she serious? _Red, don't do it. And stop placing meaning in things that might not have one._ Too late. She did it anyway. She flashed a wide smile at Belle and let her fingers slip into Belle's warm hand.

"So, we were out in the woods…" Belle listened with a growing smile on her face and as she gave Red's hand a little squeeze, Red couldn't care less what the mean voice in her head was yelling at her.

* * *

><p>The sun had passes its highest point in the sky when they reached the clearing where they had first met. At least Belle told her this was where they met, Red remembered nothing of it. Her mind had been so slurred with disease then. She still couldn't quite believe that her sloppiness with the hunter had almost cost her her life.<p>

"That tree right there, that was where you were standing, when I first saw you." Belle pointed towards a big oak at the far end of the clearing. "I can't blame you if you don't remember, you only seemed half conscious then."

"I probably was. Where were you then?"

"I um, was hiding behind that bush right there." She looked a little embarrassed. "I just heard steps and I got frightened."

"But then you came to my rescue", Red pointed out while flashing a wide smile at her. She thought it a little odd how Belle could be embarrassed about admitting she had been scared of her, when Red had implied more than once that she should be. She had given up on that for now. What impact had she really on this girl, if she could tell her that her body held a monster that if forced under control would drive her insane in wicked ways, just to have the girl ask her if she would hold her hand? There was no reasoning with this girl. As long as she kept her promise to run away, if Red's control suddenly slipped, she would have to settle for that. She would throw herself in the arms of every hunter in town before she would let herself hurt Belle.

"It's over here somewhere", Belle said and walked further into the woods. Red had already given her back the beige hood as soon as they had entered the forest cover and she was oddly excited to get her own back. It had been a part of her for two years. It had been her dearest possession. Her only possession to be honest.

Red thought back to the day she got it. The last town she had escaped had given her the idea to seek out this dark wizard who they said could get you anything your heart desires. So she sought him out. Not at the castle where he was now living, but in a small village nearby, where they said he was temporarily staying because he was striking a deal.

"If you hurry, you can probably make it", a kind man, who hadn't recognized her yet, had told her.

So she went to this town and he wasn't hard to find. The entire town seemed to be occupying the tavern, where he had taken root for a few days. She avoided the crowd, but found him at night, when the streets where empty. She waited outside for him to come and when he did, she stepped out into the light.

"Rumpelstiltskin."

He twirled around. "Good evening, little wolf."

Red's eyes had widened in shock. "You know what I am?"

"One does hear rumors."

"Oh. Well, I need your help. I need something that prevents me from turning."

"And what makes you think I'll give you that?"

Red looked at him with skepticism. He didn't look like much. His body was rather lanky, his fingers thin. His face had a sickish shade of grey or green. He really didn't look like much. Yet he had sort of an aura, not unlike Red herself, but an entirely different one. Red knew by instinct that this man held more power than his appearance expressed. She was just a seventeen years old runaway with a monstrous curse, she had no control over. She knew she was the weaker one of them.

"Aren't you the great dark wizard that this whole town wants to strike deals with?"

"Ah!" He said, holding up his index finger. "I didn't say I couldn't. I asked what makes you think I want to?"

"Please, please help me! I know you're the only one that can. I-I don't have any money, but I'll do anything."

"I can spin gold, I don't need money. Hm, let's see…" He put his hands to his hips and pretended to think. Red thought he was an odd character, very unlike any man she had ever encountered. Or any human for that matter. "Ah! You can tell me…. about you. Yes, that would work. A tale for a spell. Spill little wolf."

"Well what do you want to know?"

"I want to know… Uh what do I want to know? Everything! No better yet, only two things." Red wasn't sure if he was talking to himself or her, so she didn't say anything until he looked at her, waiting.

"What do you want to know about me?"

"You weakness. Your physical and mental weakness. Consider it a safety guarantee for me, should I ever meet you again." Rumpelstiltskin had put his face all the way up in hers and she fought every urge to jolt back from his diseased skin and black, piercing eyes.

"First give me my spell", Red choked out.

"Clever one. Alrighty." He took a hair from his own head, then snapped one off of hers and spun them together. As he pulled each end they expanded and more fabric appeared from the lines of entwined hair. Before her eyes a red hood appeared, spun only from two strands of hair. With a last flicker of his wrist it spun itself to the end and flapped in the wind, dangling from his hand. It took Red a second to grasp what was happening, as she had never seen real magic before, only heard of it.

"A hood?"

"I thought the color was appropriate, don't you think, _Red_?"

Red's eyes widened further. "You know my name too?"

"I'm a walking book of knowledge dearie, now… Do we have a deal? Tell me your deepest fear and what physically harms you the most and you have your protection spell."

Red didn't hesitate. She told him. He handed him the hood. She swung it over her shoulders at once to try it on for size, but when she looked up again Rumpelstiltskin had disappeared.

And finally the hood was back within her sight.

"Do you see it?" Belle asked.

"Please. Way ahead of you. Wolf eyes you know."

"Right."

"You climbed up high, I'm impressed. One second." It had to be twenty feet at least. The branches were hanging low so it was easy to climb. Red was up and down in the matter of seconds. As she stood on the ground holding the dirty, torn, blood stained bundle of fabric she couldn't help but smile. It might make her feel powerful, but it also made her feel safer. From herself. She swung it over her shoulders and felt the heavy cloak settle onto her body. The weight of it made her feel a little more like herself again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Belle watched Red, as she put on the hood again. She seemed to be far away in her thoughts, but she was smiling, so Belle hoped that wherever her mind was right now, it was someplace nice. She had had an expression of almost childish joy on her face when she had climbed down with the red hood in her hands. Belle hadn't seen that look before, but she found that she adored it. She could tell the girl didn't like being pitied, but she couldn't help feeling just that after everything Red had told her about her life. At least Belle's mother had been a saint to the end.

"Better now?" Belle asked her, as Red stopped smoothing out the edges of the hood with caressing fingers. The thing honestly looked horrible. There were dried blots of blood on it, dirt and those long tears in it, but Red didn't seem to notice all that. The way she looked at it, made Belle think of how she had felt when wearing her favorite dress. Red looked up as Belle spoke and flashed a wide smile.

"Much. Thank you for hiding it. To be honest I was a little nervous that it wouldn't be here still."

"Are you doubting my hiding skills?" Belle said with that same teasing tone Red had used on her.

"No, I was just, you know…"

"I get it, it's fine. Shall we go?"

Red nodded and started walking. As they travelled along the road, Red stayed at the edge of the forest, while Belle settled for the graveled road. The even surface suited her feet better, but Red seemed more at ease with the bumpy forest floor, skipping over large roots and ducking under low branches, while being partly hidden from the eye of anyone, who might pass them in a distance. Even though the terrain in there was much more resistant towards walking, Red seemed to have no trouble keeping up. And more impressing, keeping the foods in the basket. If anything, Belle was the slow one. Belle reminded herself that for one thing, the girl was a werewolf and secondly, she had grown up in a forest, as Belle had just learned. Even in her human form Red would be better suited for travelling through the woods than most.

Red for once didn't seem to notice Belle watching her. Belle couldn't keep her eyes from the girl as she ran around in the forest, jumped on branches and swung down again to run circles around the next tree. Belle wanted to tell her to save her energy, but it was obvious the girl had a lot to spare. Belle got the feeling that her other wild-natured half must have been so restless being caught in that room, afraid to leave and risk being recognized. Now she was finally running free and there was no sign that the injury bothered her anymore. Belle wouldn't have thought it possible to heal from such a nasty wound so fast, but she had clearly underestimated the supernatural powers of the girl's wolf side.

There was something else about Red that became evident here. Belle truly believed her own words, when she said that she saw Red and the wolf as two separate individuals, but out here in the wild it was obvious that the wolf's predatory nature had a certain grip on the girl. She would stop dead in her track at any new noises, or stop to listen for things Belle couldn't even hear. Her gaze was constantly set on that intense focus Belle had felt on herself at times and she walked with a sort of crouching posture as if ready to leap at something. Belle didn't like to admit that this made her slightly uneasy. Red could disappear into this animal world and look like something that in its appearance resembled an animal more than a human.

Then she would suddenly look up at Belle with a charming smile and ask if she was okay. So maybe she did notice Belle's stares after all.

"You're not freezing or anything, are you?" She asked as she jumped down from a low hanging branch to walk with Belle for a while. "We can switch hoods for a while if you want? Mine's way thicker and there's no one out here. And I'll hear them from miles away, if they come."

"I'm sure you would", Belle said with a small smile. "But I'm fine. My hood is enough for me." To be honest she didn't feel entirely comfortable with the thought of wearing Red's hood. It wasn't that it was dirty and wrecked; her own wasn't that clean anyway. It was the symbolism of it. It was Red's. It had someone else's blood on it. It was made by dark magic. She had indeed known and loved the wizard who made it, but she had always despised the dark magic that served him and the way it had set root in him. She didn't want anything to do with it. She knew it was silly, but she thought that wearing that would make her feel like an outlaw.

"Alright, just let me know if you change your mind."

"I will", Belle assured her and smiled. They walked in silence for a few moments, but Belle could feel the girl beside her growing restless again. It was amazing how her energy seemed to be an unlimited source today. Belle couldn't believe this was the same girl who had looked more dead than alive just a week ago.

Her voice didn't fill the silence, but her steps did. Red was fidgeting with impatience. Belle started to feel like she really was slowing her down. She would hate to see the girl go, but at the same time Red's agitated appearance made her feel guilty.

"Red, if you really want, you can just go on. I know I'm a lot slower than you. If you just want to run along and get it over with I understand."

She had halfway expected Red to say 'okay', maybe give her a smile and then be on her way, but instead she turned towards Belle and shook her head.

"No, I'd rather stay with you. I think you might be right, you could be a huge help for me, now that you know him and everything."

"I'm not sure he even wants to see me", Belle argued and didn't want to admit that Red's refusal to leave her made her immensely happy. Much more than she would have thought. It wasn't just a relief that she wasn't considered a burden, it was a warmth that spread in her at the sight of the little smile on Red's face. The girl didn't smile with her whole face that often, most of the time her eyes were a little distant in the smile, but this one was real.

"It sounds to me like you could be his soft spot. I could use that. If I'm being honest I'm a little nervous about meeting him again."

Belle wanted to say that she shouldn't be, but she wasn't sure that was the truth. The wizard's mind worked in mysterious ways. Instead she said: "Alright I'll be your soft spot." Then she realized the double meaning and quickly added: "Um, I mean _his_ soft spot that you can use. Or not use, I mean…" God, when did she start to fumble with words like this?

"Hm, could be", Red just said and sent her one of those teasing smiles.

"Um, maybe we should settle down for lunch soon?" Belle suggested, desperately wanting to change the subject.

"Sure. How much did they get us?" Red asked while peeking into the basked and pushing some on the items around.

"He said if we economize a little, there should be enough for two days."

"Which is about the time it takes to get to the castle, right?"

"Just about. I was a little slower going the opposite way, because I got lost so… Yes, I would say so."

"Good. In there's a good clearing, let's set up there", Red started guiding Belle in between the trees.

"Are you sure it's dry enough to sit on?"

Red nodded. "I'm sure. I know my way around the woods."

"Yes I can imagine."

Red sat down the basket and started ruffling around it. At last she found some bread and handed Belle a piece. It was a reversed situation from the past week and a half, which felt a little odd. Or just unaccustomed at least.

"I was wondering…" Red started and then stopped to finish chewing after watching the Belle's raised eyebrow. "Sorry. Wolf manners? Anyway I was wondering, what the hell did you eat on your way from the castle to the town? I'm sure he didn't pack you lunch before throwing you out."

Belle shook her head. "No of course not. I ate some berries and roots. The water was worse. It was pretty hard to find any clean water. To be honest I didn't feel that good after two days."

"You don't say. But how would you know what to eat? I don't mean to be prejudiced or anything, I just thought that with you being a princess and everything… I don't know."

Belle snickered as she watched Red trying to take her words back as she spoke. Belle had noticed she was very blunt in her way of speaking compared to Belle, who usually thought things through before speaking them. Apart from today that was.

"You have a point. I didn't learn the way I'm sure you have. I've just read a lot. I found some books once about travelling and how to survive on what the forest itself can offer you."

"Why would you even read that?"

"Well it was a long time ago and I was convinced that someday I would get out of the castle and travel, and I thought it might be useful. And I have a good memory so I remember most of what I read. Lucky for me I might add."

"Indeed", Red agreed with a slight nod. "Is there anything you haven't read? It's like you know everything."

"That's not true."

"Well, it seems that way to me." Red smiled at her and the compliment made Belle squirm a little. She could usually take a compliment, but this girl had an unexpected effect on her, causing her to act like some insecure youngster. Yet her mind fed on little notions like this, signs of affection. It was all happening so smoothly, that Belle hadn't even noticed it had come to this. She felt a little weird. Belle wasn't used to feeling like this for a woman.

"What about you, you don't like to read?"

The girl shook her head as expected. "No, not really. I was more the play around with sticks kind of kid. And being on the run, reading hasn't exactly been my first priority. I mean I can read, you know. Some…" The last came out a little hesitant like she didn't really wanted Belle to know that she might not be up to Belle's standard. Belle didn't mind though. "I did love it when my father read stories to me though. He was good at it. Who knows, throw a book at me and I might actually read it." She smiled in the end, the joking smile that didn't feel quite heartfelt, but just enough to be convincing. That was if you weren't used to the girl's façade, Belle imagined. She would usually sound so casual whenever she mentioned the fact that she was a refugee – Belle preferred to think of it like that instead of calling her an outlaw – except for when she had told Belle about her mother. Her sudden change in mood from being rather indifferent to grave had been striking. Part of her reaction was the reason the story had made Belle cry.

Belle wanted to ask Red more about her life. Partly to try and understand, how she could have been running and chased around the lands for four years, and partly because she was just curious to know more. There must be good stories for her to tell too. She seemed to have enjoyed her days with this boy Peter, but knowing how that ended, Belle didn't feel like digging more into it and she sure didn't feel like hearing more about Red's encounters with a variety of girls during her short stay in different towns across the kingdoms. She decided to keep the conversation light instead, hoping Red would reveal some things on her own. Honestly Belle thought she should be grateful for having gotten this far. It was obvious that the girl had a whole fortress of defense mechanisms to keep people at bay. She wondered if she was the first to be let in since that Aurora-girl. She thought she might be and the notion made her smile.

"Well, I don't have any books to throw your way at the moment, but Rumple has whole walls lined up with them. Should we part on friendly terms you might be able to buy one from him?"

Red laughed briefly. "I doubt he'll want me in his home long enough for me to look around. The first time I saw him, he disappeared right after I got the hood. Like he just vanished into thin air."

"He does that sometimes."

Red gave her one of her intense, examining looks. "Do you really know him? You speak of him sometimes like you were like this", she said and held two fingers together, crossed.

Belle shook her head. "No, we weren't. Those were just things I noticed about him. Like I said, he was very reluctant to let me in, but sometimes he would slip. And I do consider myself observant."

"I would say so too", Red agreed with a crooked smile. "You about done?" She added, nodding at Belle's empty hands.

Belle nodded. It was no surprise to her that Red was a fast eater too. It fitted well with the rest of her survivor-nature. Belle swallowed her last mouthful of bread and took the hand that Red had reached out for her. Red had backed up before Belle had two minutes to look around.

"Let's walk then." Belle smiled and nodded, and walked out of from the tree cover to continue the journey along the road.

* * *

><p>The dark was falling upon the road now. The forest itself already seemed pitch black and the trees at the edge of the forest barely separated from it. Red was now walking beside Belle, as Belle had asked her to, swinging the basket beside her as she walked. It was obvious that Red had no fear for the dark whatsoever, but Belle didn't feel as confident. The nights out here in the wild were more than a little unsettling, this she had discovered about two weeks earlier. Now with Red by her side there was no sound of living creatures lurking at the edge of the trees, like Belle felt they had done before. She didn't know if she preferred the silence. The silence gave nothing away, held no clues as to where the animals were hiding then. She would just have to trust that they really didn't come near as long as Red was here. Belle couldn't think of any reason not to believe it, but even so she caught herself peeking into the darkness of the trees to see if something was standing there. Belle shuddered slightly.<p>

"You okay?" Red asked her, putting a light touch to her arm.

"Yes, I'm fine, it's just that I don't like the nights out here."

"You made it through once, you can do it again", she said sounding confident about it.

"I know. It's just the silence and the dark and not knowing what's in there. I've never liked not knowing things. I'd rather know what I'm dealing with."

"But nothing's in there. Every other living thing in this forest in keeping clear of me. You're the only one who's insisting on having me by your side." The last bit was said with another of those smiles with one corner of her mouth. Belle tried to smile back.

"I know, that's what I'm trying to tell myself. Do you promise that I'm safe with you then?" Red's eyes avoided hers for a moment. It seemed it took her a moment to figure out how to answer.

"I wouldn't say…" She started, but interrupted herself. "Well, yeah, you're safe with me. For now. But Belle, if the full moon comes and we still haven't figured out about the hood…"

"I'll stay away, I promise. Until it's over. I promise that."

"Good. And also if things get out of hand-"

"I promised that too. But Red, I trust you. You have done nothing to suggest I should act otherwise." This was true. She might have made Belle slightly uneasy a few times, but the girl had always shown caution and every sign that she didn't want harm to come to Belle.

"God, you're too generous Belle", she said, but she smiled all the same. Belle reached out a hand and snuck it into Red's warm one. Even out here it was radiating that special heat. It was rather chilly out here, yet it felt like the touch was warming Belle's entire body. Red looked at their hands and then at her with surprise in her eyes.

"Please? It makes me feel safer."

Red nodded slightly. "Okay."

They walked like that for a while. The wind had picked up a little speed and started hissing in between the trees. The leaves that Belle could just barely make out on the nearest trees were dancing with the breeze, making a synchronized floating motion through the entire line of treetops.

Belle couldn't seperate one tree from the other and she had only a vague idea of how far they had gone. Hopefully they would reach the castle by the end of tomorrow evening or the morning thereafter. It was hard to know, due to the chaotic way in which she had left the place. She wondered what shape it would be in, the castle. Rumpelstiltskin had started throwing things around and tearing up ornaments by the time she ran out. He could probably put it all together by the flick of a wrist, but his sense of cleaning depended a great deal on his mood, she had come to find. His mood might not be the best right now.

"You look tired. Maybe we should start looking for a place to sleep?" Red said, interrupting her thoughts. Belle nodded, relieved that Red finally said it. Her feet had been aching for a while and she had tried to choke down the yawns. She knew she was slow; she didn't want to burden Red further by wanting to go to bed early.

"We'll have to go into the woods then. You want to sleep on the ground or in a tree?"

"I would prefer a branch, if it's okay with you", Belle admitted.

"It's fine, come on then." Red started dragging her by the hand towards the tree line and Belle braced herself for another greeting of the woods. The reluctance was slightly subdued by the warmth of Red's skin and her gentle guidance of Belle through the trees. The dark quickly engulfed them both and Belle felt her heart beating a little harder in her chest. _It's okay, Red's here._ The red hood grew dark and with the raven colored hair the girl almost disappeared. Belle could barely hear her steps. What she could see was the figure of Red settling into a more crouching posture as she walked on. Belle didn't know if the girl even realized what she was doing, but she looked like something that was about to hunt. Hunt for what? Trees?

"Wait here, I'll take a quick look around."

"But Red-"

She spun around so fast it made Belle gasp. "Hey, calm down. It'll only be a second and you're really tired. Nothing is gonna come, I promise."

Belle nodded silently and felt Red let go of her hand. She could see the shape of her body sneak around in a distance, until suddenly she leaped out of sight.

"Red?" Her voice disappeared in front of her and no answer came. Once again it felt like the darkness was becoming thicker, coming alive to reach out to her and-

"Okay found one." Belle started almost violently and gasped at the sound of Red's voice right next to her left ear.

"God, Red, don't scare me like that!" She turned around and looked into Red's face, after composing herself.

"I'm sorry. I tried to make noise."

"Well, you're not very good at that."

"Sorry", she said again and then found Belle's hand. "Come on, it's right over here."

Red lead her to a thick oak with branches hanging so low that Belle could easily step up on them. She let go of Red's hand and started ascending the tree. She felt that with Red here she didn't have to climb that high, but just enough that little insects and such wouldn't be found in her hair once she woke up. Half a dozen feet would do fine.

She climbed slow and carefully as it was hard to separate tree limbs from dark nothing. She wouldn't want to slip and fall down. It was one thing that she was so embarrassingly afraid to be alone in the dark, when the other girl treated it like her second home, but to prove yet another inadequacy at traveling through the wild life – no. She had her pride.

Once she found a good branch, thick enough that she was confident she wouldn't fall down from it in her sleep, she crawled onto it and settled against the trunk of the tree.

"Are you settled up there?" Red called.

"Yes, I'm good."

The next thing she knew, Red had climbed up and landed on the same branch, Belle was sitting on, while supporting her balance by holding onto the adjacent branch.

"What are you doing?"

Red shrugged. "Just wanted to see what it was like from up here. And say good night."

Belle smiled. "Well good night then. You can just wake me whenever you want tomorrow, it's your call. Are you sure you don't want to come up here?"

"Na, I sleep better on the floor. I'm a wolf, not a monkey." When she said that her eyes flashed at the rare humor in her voice. Even in this darkness her eyes were so clear and sort of glowing. How was that even possible? "Well I better get down." She leaned into Belle to get footing, because apparently getting down was harder than almost jumping up here. For a moment Red paused and Belle was taken aback at how close she was. Involuntarily, Belle's heart started pounding faster, as she stared into the pale, captivating face of the girl in front of her. She felt trapped, petrified at the sneaking desire to touch that face, but also in the same way a sheep would feel trapped, when cornered in the paddock staring into the eyes of a hungry wolf. Her heart was beating violently into her rip cage. Red smiled that teasing smile again. _What if she can hear it? _Not only her heart, but her thoughts too, like little signals escaping her body. Belle felt like her heart was beating itself out of control and with the girl's heightened senses…

"Sleep tight then", Belle choked out sheepishly.

Red chuckled and released Belle from her stare. "See you tomorrow", she said as she swung down from the tree, skipped several branches and landed on the ground to the noise of snapping twigs. Belle released her breath and closed her eyes. Continuously seeing the dark green eyes lingering inches from her own face before her inner gaze, it took her longer than expected to fall asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Red woke up as soon as the sunlight touched the treetops. She was so used to sleeping in horrible places that she wasn't even remotely sore from sleeping on the ground. The hood made a fine cover and the twigs could make do for a mattress. She got to her feet and looked up to find Belle still asleep on the thick branch some feet up in the tree. She could let her sleep for a little while longer, she figured. Belle had been so tired, that much had been obvious to Red, but hadn't wanted to admit it. Maybe she thought she was being a weakling. Red could easily see how Belle wasn't used to travelling, especially not through the wild like this, but weak wouldn't be the word Red would use. She still thought the girl was incredibly brave for even doing this. She didn't want to take pity on her, as she loathed pity herself, but she wouldn't deny that Belle had been through a lot too. No reason for her to downplay that.

Red thought about how Belle had asked her to promise that she was safe with her. It had taken a lot out of Red not to yell 'of course you're not safe with me, have you heard nothing of what I've told you?' but she hadn't. As long as Belle promised to leave in good time before full moon, when Red would gain the solid form of the monster she was, she could handle it. And well, Belle was safe from all other creatures as long as Red was there. No animal would ever come near her. Humans truly were the stupidest creature on earth.

As her stomach started rumbling, Red cast her thoughts aside and looked around in the oaks' proximity for berries or other stuff to contribute to the food they had left. She had hoped Belle had asked them for more food than two days' worth, but guessed that she didn't want to raise suspicions.

It turned out there was a wealth of berries and other kinds of small edible fruits. Red collected a few handfuls and added them to the basket, treading lightly so that Belle wouldn't wake up until she had to. When she was done collecting she sat down again. She knew she should save her energy, but the ever lingering restlessness made it hard, especially when she was surrounded by nature. Something about that called to the wolf in its sleep. She looked at her wrecked hood. In the past few days she had stopped wishing that the hunter was never gotten that close to her. If she hadn't had her hood torn and her flesh engraved with silver, she would have never met Belle. It was a constant internal struggle, because she knew she wasn't good for her. As a matter of fact she wasn't good for anyone. Yet, with Belle she felt a little more human than she had in a long time. The few girls and occasional boys she had been with during the past years kept her feeling something, but it was vague compared to this. It was so different, because she hadn't come to Belle for a one-night thing. She hadn't even come to Belle, Belle made that decision. They had gotten to know each other. Maybe they didn't really know much about each other, and Red still had dark secrets she was hesitant to share with the girl, but they knew one another still. Belle saw past the things Red told her. It might not be smart, but it was what made Red feel different about her, drawn to her even. And Red felt like she saw something else than she figured most people in Belle's own kingdom had seen: The brave, clever and truly adorable girl behind the royal gowns. Red didn't even know if Belle wore dresses. She was girly, but she had a curious, adventurous side, that didn't call for fancy dresses.

More than the fact that they had taken – however forced on Red's part – the time to get to know each other, there was this tension between them, that Red had stopped denying long ago. She knew Belle felt it too, she could see it in her eyes just last night. Red had experienced something similar with Peter, but that felt like ages ago. She was a child then. It was more mature this time, stronger. _Red, you were not supposed to indulge in this_. She sighed. She knew that. It was just getting harder.

She shook her head at herself and thought it was time to wake Belle. Carefully she climbed up the tree and lingered just beside her. She watched the sleeping beauty, while debating how to wake her. She didn't want to scare her like she had done last night. Carefully she reached out a hand and put a gentle touch to Belle's arm.

"Belle", she whispered. Nothing. "Belle", she said a little louder and shook her arm softly. A grimace washed over her face and she groan lightly before opening her eyes. "Rise and shine."

"Is it morning already?" She asked in a voice husky from sleep.

"Yep. I'll set up breakfast for us."

Red jumped down again and pulled out the second bread and some sausage from the basket. There was a small piece of cloth in there underneath the foods, which they used as covers to put the bread on.

She looked up as Belle climbed her way down. The descend was slow and a little clumsy. The tree was slippery from the morning dew and Belle's drowsy body didn't seem to have quite woken up yet. Red got up and took her hand to help her down from the last branch.

"There you go, princess", Red said as she helped her down.

Belle sent her a tired look, but smiled anyway.

"Why thank you, that's very kind."

"Well you seem to insist of me being good and all, so I thought I should show some manners. Your fine table is set."

"It looks good, I'm hungry." They sat down and ate in silence for a while. Belle didn't seem to be a morning person. Red hadn't been awake that many mornings when she was sick, so she hadn't really noticed. She had always been a morning person herself, maybe except for the days around the full moon. She turned nocturnal then.

"I found some berries and fruits to eat too. Here taste this, it's really good." Red handed her a small collection of her gatherings.

Belle hummed. "Mm, it is. Where did you find that? I never did."

"I think it's safe to say my fruit-finding skills are a little more developed than yours, having lived in a forest all through childhood."

"Sure, I'll give you that."

They finished up quickly and walked on. She led Belle out to the road, where Belle preferred to walk – and frankly was faster – and Red stayed at the edge of the trees mostly. She didn't feel like she had to run off as much energy today compared to yesterday, but the untouched, uneven ground felt better under her feet than the man-made gravel road. She felt like those small details, which made her feel different from the humans, those small things that appealed to her wild side, also helped soothing the wolf. Kept it satisfied in its sleep and less likely to try and break through to her mind. And something in her human self truly did enjoy the wild. She had grown up in such. Even after her and Granny ran from the home, she had been born in, they still lived in the woods, just a very different part of the Westloch forest. It was an enormous forest and in their new place no one had known of the tragedy that had forced the old woman and the little girl to move. Not even all the villagers knew that they lived nearby. Red imagined Granny had just tried to be careful. She could have lived in the village, if they had wanted to. No one knew of them yet and the few that did know of her mother didn't make the connection. They never moved though. Red hadn't minded, the woods were her home.

Every so often Red would jump out of the tree line to walk with Belle. Part of her didn't want to stay away from her too long. Sometimes Bell would flinch a little and Red would feel bad, but deep down she also found the girls tiny jumps of fright adorable. She didn't admit this out loud, because she feared it would sound to Belle like she was mocking her.

Belle smiled at her as she caught up, welcoming her.

"So", Red said to the smiling face. "Were you a dress-wearing type of princess? Do you always look fancy and stuff or is that just my imagination?"

Belle giggled. "Yes, I did that a lot. Not always the fancy ones, but mostly yes. I like dresses. I can't speak for other princesses though."

"I figured you did. What's it like, being a princess?"

Belle sighed and looked like she was searching for a good answer. "Well… I don't know that it's much different from being a girl of any other wealthy family."

"Tell me about it. I don't have a lot of experience with wealth either."

"No, I know, I mean, I figured."

"Just tell me Belle", Red said with a snicker, deciding to save the girl in her squirming.

"It is rather fancy sometimes yes. Like when we went to balls. This was where the fancy dresses came out. I never cared much for the mechanics of ruling a country, so I spent a lot of time reading, as you can probably guess. We had a library at the castle, but not nearly as good as the one in mid-town. Ours is full of politics and frankly I like fiction just a little bit better. So I would read a lot and study some, because my father was convinced that I should be educated. And there was some travelling too, visiting other royal families, but more often than not I would stay home. Too much politics again. There, um, were suitors…"

"_Really_? Many?" Red didn't have any trouble imagining Belle to be courted a lot. To her vast amusement, Belle blushed a little.

"Um, I don't know. They never held my interest though. This one particular guy was very persistent. Gaston was his name. My father absolutely adored him and I guess he was impressive with his fortune and his great hunting skills, but I never felt anything for him. My father was ready to set up the marriage, frankly, but I said no. I could never marry someone I'm not passionate about."

_I bet I could beat his ass at hunting any day_.

"So no one won you or anything?"

Belle looked at her with mocked surprise. "I'm not a price to be _won_!" She said and padded Red's arm. Red laughed.

"I'm sorry, the only knowledge of royalty I have is from the stories my father read me as a kid. One of them could be about you for all I know."

"You do realize that I was a child too then, right?"

Red rolled her eyes and chuckled. "So did you have like tea parties with fancy porcelain and stuff?"

Belle laughed, a light sound that bore a slight resemblance to hiccupping. Red found it incredibly sweet. "I wish I could deny it, but I actually did sometimes. With my mother and sometimes my father, when I could make him. He hated it."

"Can't imagine why." Belle laughed again and Red was mesmerized. Belle continued to tell Red about her princess life at the castle. She asked less about Red's past today, which suited Red fine. She'd much rather enjoy the present.

* * *

><p>After a quick lunch Red settled for walking on the inside of the tree line again. She thought it might be best if she wanted to succeed in her quest to stay away from Belle. Of course she couldn't in literal sense stay very far from her, but if she couldn't hear her breathing, couldn't watch her beautiful face all the time or hear that intoxicating laughter, maybe she could keep her hands off her. It was particularly hard today. She didn't know if it was the wild that sucked the civilization right out of her or what else could have made all the rational thoughts evaporate from her mind, but all she wanted to do was grab that beautiful, tasty girl and pin her against one of those trees and just- <em>shut it Red. Focus or you'll knock yourself out on one of those branches. <em>It would probably take more than that. Still, her mean inner voice was right. God, she was so horrible at resisting temptation. A lot bad calls had led her to be chased out of a variety of towns. Bad calls like telling scared little girls what she was or bragging too much when a drunk old guy provoked her by calling her a spoiled little brat, because she had tried to steal some food.

But Belle was none of those things. _Still, shut up_.

Then, like Red's thoughts had called her out, Belle started walking into the forest and towards her. She kept a good eye on where she placed her feet and didn't look up until she was all the way inside. Red had stopped and watched her, thinking that this was just too much. Could she not have some space? Did the girl have any idea how hard she was making this?

"What are you doing in here?" Red asked when she finally stopped.

"It started raining. It's just powdery rain, it'll pass soon, but I'd like to stay dry."

"Oh. I see. Well, you good in here." Red hadn't even realized. If she hadn't been so preoccupied with her thoughts she would have smelled it. She never missed stuff like that. This girl was throwing her completely off her game.

"That's what I thought", she said with a smile. "It doesn't seem like it can get through the treetops though."

They walked together in between trees and Red would hide her smile whenever Belle almost stumbled on thick roots or moved around suspicious-looking vegetation. She might have done things no other princess could ever do, but hiking would probably never be her strong suit.

"I'm sorry I'm being so slow in here, I'm just not used to this. Honestly, I'm surprised I didn't fall down and injure myself more than I did going the other way."

Red shook her head, brushing it off. "Don't even worry about it. We'll get there when we get there. You weren't hurt when you ran, were you?" She hadn't even considered this. It would only make sense given what Red was witnessing now. "I didn't even ask that before. I feel bad now."

"Don't be silly, Red, you were off a lot worse. It was nothing, just a few scratches here and there, that's all. Some higher power must have protected me, because I feel _so_ hopeless right now." She looked up at Red and snickered.

"I want to disagree with you, but…"

"Humor me?"

"Alright, you're doing great. You sure you weren't born out here too?"

Belle laughed again. They walked a bit in silence. The pace was admittedly much slower, but Red didn't mind. She walked a bit ahead, while constantly reminded herself to take it slow. After a while she stopped smelling rain in the air, only that fresh scent of the entire atmosphere being clean in a way only rain could make it.

"It's stopped raining now, if you want to get back out there", she informed Belle.

"How did you…" She started, but stopped herself. "I think I might. This is just unnecessary hard then. God, you must think I'm such a brat now right?" She looked at Red, smiling with a hint of embarrassment. Red shook her head to comfort her.

"Not at all. Like we've just established, I'm more used to it than you. Go walk your red carpet."

Belle narrowed her eyes and pouted a little, but then rolled her eyes and sent Red a smile before heading back out.

When the sky started to turn dark again the wind picked up a little speed and the late autumn could really be felt. It didn't bother Red as much, but she could see from here that Belle was shivering. The cold dinner didn't help and after a couple more hours walking Belle's lips and fingertips were gaining a shade of purple.

"That's it Belle, you're shaking. Why don't we set up for tonight? We have tools to get a little bonfire started, it'll keep you warm for tonight. And the forest is wearing thinner, so it can't take that long tomorrow."

It didn't take much to convince her this time. "If you really think… Okay."

"Good, come on then." Red guided her into the forest again and held her hand so she wouldn't freak out or get lost on the way. It was no problem for Red to see in the dark, but she was aware that it would be a lot less clear to Belle. When she found a good spot, not to close to any trees that might catch a flying spark, she stopped.

"Can you stay here for just a second? I need to clear a spot for the fire."

"O-okay. Please be quick."

"Hey, I'm always quick." Belle laughed nervously and let go of her hand. Red hurried around in the clearing, picking up all the rocks she could find to circle around the fire. To her luck there were plenty. When she had collected enough she ran back to Belle and put them aside. With her hands she removed all the small plants and dug out the earth to make the small area less flammable. She turned the earth and clawed away the remaining roots and leaves. When she was satisfied she placed the rocks to encircle the area. Belle stood silently behind her as she worked.

"Now, I just need to find a bit of firewood, hang on."

She searched around again, picking twigs and small branches off the ground or broke them off trees until she had collected enough for a decent fire. Right now Red thanked the weather for not having sent an ocean of rain. That would have made this impossible. Luckily, water had never touched the ground in here.

"Okay then, let's get this started", she said as she dropped the firewood in the circle. In the basket she found matches and it didn't take long before the little flame caught onto the pile of twigs and tree limbs and dry leaves. The pile alighted with a warm flame and the crackling sound from the sparks that made Red nostalgic. She couldn't count all the times her family had gathered around outside by a fire, either because the light inside the house failed again or just because it was summer and much cozier to gather around the soothing flames.

When Red was sure the fire wouldn't die out she gestured for Belle to sit.

"Come on then."

Belle sat down beside her and stretched out her hands towards the flames. She hummed as the warmth reached out. Fires like this always burned in the face, but Red welcomed it, remembering how the fire did just that, when they put dough on a stick and made bread. It always tasted rather smoked, but that was just a part of the experience.

"Have you ever cooked over an open fire?" Red asked her. She turned to see the light from the flames falling softly against Belle's features. It made her eyes sparkle. She shook her head and Red noticed how the bright light made her hair gain a reddish glow.

"No, I haven't to be honest. Neither of my parents were much of an outdoor person, so we didn't have meals like that. I wish though, this is great. Despite that we're not eating."

"I can throw some berries on a stick for you, if you want?"

Belle giggled. "No I'm good. Better not waste those."

"Alright then, suit yourself."

Belle looked a bit around. Now with the brightness of the bonfire the surroundings looked dark, even to Red.

"Are you sure this is safe? It won't attract things?"

Red sighed. "I told you, nothing will come while I'm here. I promise you." Belle looked into her eyes and seemed to finally accept it. Red added: "It's one of the perks of being the most dangerous thing out here, you know. Privacy."

"Don't say that", Belle said quietly.

"It's true Belle." The graveness in her voice was enhanced by the sad look in Belle's eyes. Red wondered if the girl would ever believe those words.

"It might be, but I will never accept that you're a monster. I refuse to do that. You're a good person Red, even if you won't admit it."

"If you say so."

"I do." Belle scooted a little closer and leaned against Red. Her head she put down to rest on her shoulder. Red was momentarily frozen by this new way of touching, but settled into it. She put a hand out to the other side for support, so she could stay like this as long as she wanted. She would admit that Belle's presence for the past two weeks had had a soothing effect on her monstrous side. The violent part of it that was, other parts seemed to creep to the surface.

"Second thought, can I have a few berries?" Belle asked.

"On a stick?"

Belle snickered as caused both their bodies to vibrate with the quiet laughter. It was a whole new feeling to Red.

"No, just hand me a few."

"How boring. But okay." Red reached out and dropped a small handful of the sweet, dark berries in Belle's open hand. In the light from the fire it looked like little black pearls.

Belle took them and silence fell upon her. For a while they sat without talking, but stared into the flames. Red's mind seemed to have lost the ability to form thoughts. She just stared blankly into the fire, watching it eat at the wood, float into the air and turn to smoke. The thin line of if reached into the sky. She had found a place with a hole in the treetops and the black sky was slightly visible just above them. A few starts even blinked back at her.

She turned her head to see Belle wearing a serious expression and she stared into space. Just like she could feel Red watching her, trying to guess her thoughts, she said:

"I may have broken his heart."

The familiar knot reappeared in Red's stomach. "Rumpelstiltskin?" She asked, knowing the answer before Belle nodded. Belle straightened up to a sitting position and Red's right arm felt momentarily cool before the fire started warming it.

"Yes. I just… I don't know what to expect and I guess I'm a little nervous."

"Do you love him?" Red had spoken her thought before giving herself time to debate whether or not she honestly wanted it answered.

First Belle said nothing and Red almost hoped she hadn't spoken out loud. When Belle nodded, her heart sank to the bottom of her chest. Belle caught her eyes and something changed in hers.

"I mean I did. It changed in the end. When _he_ changed. On some level he'll always have a place in my heart, but the way he treated me after he thought that loving me would take his powers away… He was cruel. He never laid a hand on me, but he frightened me and he was so cold, I… I don't know it's not the same now."

Red tried to take comfort in her words, but it was hard hoisting her heart from the pool it was suddenly drowning in. She looked away, but then Belle laid a hand on top of hers.

"Red, I'm saying it's different now. I can't deny what I felt for him, but ever since I met you, I…" At this Red looked up again. Belle was smiling that nervous smile and her eyes were fixed on Red without wavering. "I didn't think I would feel something like this so fast-"

Red caught her with a hand on the side of her face and kissed her, swallowing whatever sentence Belle had meant to say. Belle let out a muffled gasp and Red realized what she had just done. She broke away again, leaving Belle with shock in her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I have bad impulse control."

Honestly she was surprised she had kept from it this long. A few seconds went by as Belle's expression slowly changed. Red hoped she had heard the words right, what if she had just ruined it? What the hell was she doing kissing her anyway, wasn't she supposed to keep away? Then Belle's face lit up in a way the fire couldn't have done and a warm smile spread on her lips.

"Don't be. I was done talking anyway." She leaned forward, going slow in a way Red could never and softly pressed her lips to Red's. Red tried to keep calm and following her pace, and Belle drew herself closer to wrap her hands around Red's neck. Her heart had gotten back up and felt like it had grown three sizes in five seconds, as she shut off the mean voice and gave in to the moment. She parted her lips to lure Belle deeper into the kiss. Belle hummed and crawled into her lap. Red fought every urge to rush, because this was not like that. This was not another night at a new tavern and just another pretty girl. This was special, because it was Belle and something about it felt more fragile. Even so she couldn't refrain herself from leaning back, pulling Belle with her until she was on her back on the forest floor with Belle on top of her. And Belle never left her lips. It was sweet yet intoxicating, kept on the edge of driving Red crazy with suppressed desire. She was determined to behave, if nothing else then to prove a point to Belle. But God, her lips. Red let her hands trace the line of Belle's ribs and down to her hips. The girl sighed and sucked gently on her lips. The she let go with a soft humming. A whimper of disappointment escaped Red, but she kept down, relaxed her hands and let Belle decide the pace, like she had just promised herself she would. _I should get a medal for self-control_, she thought wryly. Belle's eyes found hers and she smiled lovingly. Red smiled back and Belle lay down beside her, pushed up against her and rested her head on Reds shoulder again.

"No trees this time?"

"No", Belle whispered and nestled into her neck. Red had no idea when the other girl fell asleep, but at some point the movement of her chest became slower and her breathing calmed. Red lay awake and just listened.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Belle woke up in a nest of warmth and the sweet smell of Red's hair. She felt the girl's arm around her as they lay cuddled up into each other on the forest floor. Her neck and shoulder felt a tiny bit sore from lying on the ground all night, but it wasn't the first thing on her mind. Her thoughts rolled backwards to replay the events of the preceding evening. They had kissed. She had kissed Red, but not before Red had surprised her by starting it. There had been a tiny fraction of a moment where a bell had been ringing the alarm as the werewolf leaped towards her, but as forceful as the impact of her lips had been, as sweet was the touch of her hand against Belle's neck. The shock had rapidly subsided and Belle had known that she wanted it. She didn't quite understand how it all happened and she still didn't understand her feelings towards this beautiful, mysterious girl with a dominant dark side, but she had wanted to kiss her and so she did. It was sensual in a way she hadn't experienced before. She had been overwhelmed by the softness of her lips and face, the delicacy of her movements. For a minute she had been taken up by it, lost in the moment. When she had stopped once she got a hold on herself and settled for the safety of nuzzling into her. She had fallen asleep to the sound of her heartbeat, leading them to where they were now.

Belle didn't want to move just yet. She knew Red was awake, mostly because she was always awake. She took a moment to listen to the sound of her slow breathing. There was even a hint of birdsong in the air, though far away. The birds didn't feel safe in the vicinity of Red. Belle couldn't fathom why. All the talk of Red and her curse and all the notions that the wolf inside her was real… Belle had never felt as good as she did right now, curse or no curse.

As she moved a little and let out a sigh, life came into the body next to her. She rolled away and as Belle rolled onto her back Red's face appeared in her view.

"'Morning, princess", she said with a wide smile. "How are you today?"

"I'm great. And stop calling me princess. How are you?"

"Never better." The girl grinned at her and sat up. She offered Belle a hand and pulled her up in sitting position. Belle took a look around. It was a beautiful clearing Red had picked; she could see this now that the light was let back in. The trees surrounded them in an almost perfect circle and little, stubborn flowers grew by their roots.

"You up for some breakfast before we head back out? I'm starving."

"Um sure, what do we have left?"

"A little of this, a little of that. Here, let's just eat the rest."

Belle reached into the basket for whatever was left of their provisions and ate, while pretending to be preoccupied with their surroundings. She would cast stolen looks at Red when she thought the girl wasn't looking. Were they going to talk about it? She had had a feeling Red was into it and she did start, but what if Belle was just another girl to her? She hadn't tried to hide the fact that there had been a few. Last night she had gotten the feeling that Red gladly would have taken things further, if Belle hadn't stopped. Part of that had scared her a little. Deep down she wanted to know the truth, but she wasn't sure what to believe and maybe she was just a little anxious about what the answer would be. After all they had only known each other for two weeks. And the first few days didn't count, since Red had been unconscious. Still… Belle looked again and thought about it. What was she honestly expecting to get out of this?

"Just say it Belle."

The sudden sound of Red's voice interrupting her thoughts startled her. "What?"

"I know you're watching me. Just say what's on your mind."

"I, um, was thinking about… last night."

To her relief a crooked smile formed in the corner of Red's mouth.

"Yeah? Me too."

In that moment Belle's throat suddenly tightened into a tiny tube with walls of sandpaper. Somehow Red's smile just made her even more nervous to speak her mind. "Well, I was just wondering, because the things I told you, I meant them, even though I'm not sure I quite understand all of it, but I think I like you and I was just… I wanted to know what you thought."

Red chuckled and said: "I think I like you too. Except I know I do."

"Really?" Belle couldn't help the silly smile shaping her lips. Red nodded. "Because I sometimes felt like you were trying to stay away from me."

"I was", Red admitted.

"Why?"

"Because I'm not good for you Belle. I'm not good for anyone, that's just a fact. I gave up romance a long time ago, but you just, I don't know, you messed it up. And I think it helps to be around you. With the wolf, you know. Some of it at least."

"So you are glad I came with you?" A bubble in Belle's chest was inflating with joy as she watched the girl grin and nod.

"Of course I am." Her face turned serious then. "I don't want to be without you Belle. I still stand by what I said, you need to go before I turn, but yeah, I'm glad you're here for now. Come on, eat up and let's get going."

Red rose to her feet and pulled Belle with her. She chuckled a little and started to brush twigs and dust off Belle's hood and picked pieces of the forest floor out of her hair.

"That's what I get for sleeping on the ground, I guess", Belle said, while standing strangely petrified as Red cleaned her up.

"Regret it?"

"No."

"Good. Now that's the last. All done." She smirked as she said the last sentence.

"You've got some in your hair too, hold still." Red chuckled, but stood still like no other. She didn't even sway a little like Belle had done. Belle reached out to touch her raven hair, suddenly nervous again. She shouldn't be though, right? They had just declared, well, affectionate feelings for one another. Belle realized Red hadn't actually given her any hint as to what she wanted to do with this. She said she didn't want to be without her – Belle's heart swelled with the joy thinking those lines over – but she had also once again pointed out that she wasn't any good and she still expected Belle to leave at some point. Now Belle was right back to being nervous and unsure what to do. She settled for untangling the leaf from the other girl's soft, messy hair and withdrawing again. Only when Belle stepped back did the statue, that was Red, come to life again.

"All set?"

Belle nodded mutely.

"Great." Then again, quickly like an attack in the dark, Red leaned forward and placed a kiss on her lips. It was sweeter this time. The urgent desire had subsided, but Belle was left almost just as stunned. Red grinned. "Let's go." She collected the empty basked and took Belle's hand with her free one. Belle let herself be pulled into a walk, smiling and thinking that she just didn't really know where she had this girl. Only that she liked her and that was good enough for now.

* * *

><p>The forest was definitely wearing thinner now. Red had said this last night, but the forest had been too dark and still too dense for Belle to see it. Now she could. As they became evidently closer to reaching their goal, Belle started to realize what was about to happen. She honestly didn't have the slightest idea of or the faintest chance to predict how Rumple would react when he saw her. He had been so out of his mind, when she left and she just hoped that he had taken the time to collect himself. Not for her sake, but for his own. It tormented her to have left him in such despair, despite that he hadn't given her a choice. Hopefully it wasn't too late to make it right.<p>

She felt the warmth of the hand that held hers. Would he be mad that she had found someone else? And so soon, God she couldn't even believe it herself. It might not be quite love yet, but she felt it could get there and she was just taken aback that it had happened so fast. Mostly that she had even been capable of it this soon. In some corner of her heart she still mourned the break between her and Rumple, but Red had pushed it aside so efficiently with her smile and her alluring behavior. Belle wasn't blind to the fact that she attracted to the dark side of people. She preferably treaded the rough path. This was why she could never give herself to a man like Gaston, who had so eagerly courted her. He was too polished. She liked people's rough edges; she liked helping them find themselves. There was nothing to find in Gaston.

But this girl. Rumple. Unnatural forces twirled around in them both and it threatened to consume them. She had let it happen with Rumple, she wouldn't let it happen to Red.

"I think I see something now", Red said. Belle tried to look through the trees that covered the road as it snaked around them. She narrowed her eyes, but only trees were in her vision.

"Your eyes must be better than mine, because I don't see anything."

"Yeah, that's a wolf thing too."

Belle looked up, suddenly realizing something: "So that's why you could see me in the dark? The day with the blackout? I was wondering about that."

"I was. But you understand I couldn't tell you that. I thought I was going to keep this a secret a lot longer."

"I understand. Though I wish you had known that I wouldn't desert you for being honest with me."

"Yeah well, I have a lot of bad experience. I'm glad you didn't though, God you have no-" Red stopped dead for a moment and turned her head halfway toward where they had come from. Belle could almost see her prick up her ears, or at least she could imagine it. For a moment Red stood like that, and Belle didn't dare say anything until she learned what it was Red could hear. Her posture relaxed then and she shrugged as she looked at Belle. "Guess it was nothing. For a moment I could have sworn I heard footsteps in a distance. Never mind."

They walked on and moments after, the castle appeared behind the disappearing tree line. It was just like Belle remembered it: An enormous and impressive stronghold with dark colors and pointing spears on top of every tower, seemingly reaching into the clouds. She remembered the day, a little over six months ago, when she first came here and how the mere sight of the building felt intimidating. She never understood why one man would need so much space and she had grown up in a castle herself. It stood out dark in the bright autumn afternoon with a sinister presence, marking the home of the dark wizard. Rumpelstiltskin. She hoped he hadn't grown as dark as his castle suggested.

It rose up in front of them as they walked closer and just a few dozen feet from the entrance, only now free of the trees, Red stopped, forcing Belle to stop with her. Belle looked at her with surprise.

"This is your last chance Belle", Red said, suddenly sounding grave. The smile was gone from her face. "Are you sure you want to go in there with me?"

"I'm sure Red."

Red wavered for a moment and looked like she wanted to argue further. Her eyes were searching, as if trying to dig out the reason why Belle kept insisting so. Belle decided to take matters in her own hand. She stepped closed to Red and kissed her. Words didn't work on this girl, maybe this would.

It seemed it did. It didn't take long for Red to catch on and respond, pulling Belle in by the waist. Belle kept her hands by the girl's neck, holding her to her own face. Then she could feel it, the urgency awakening in Red's body, calling out her own. Red pushed harder into her and opened her mouth to deepen the kiss, while her fingers dug into the skin of Belle's waist. She could feel the vague prick of sharp nails through the layers of hood and clothes. Maybe it was anxiety that caused Red to act like this, because something in her changed a little, the urgency became almost feral. Belle felt lightheaded at the intensity, but at the same time a small cry of anxiety built in her. Red pulled her closer yet and a low animalistic growl came through her throat as a muffled rumble. Belle felt a sharp pain in her bottom lip as the girl's teeth bore into it.

She gasped and tensed. Red must have felt it, because she abruptly broke the kiss and looked at Belle with frightened eyes.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry, Belle are you okay? I'm sorry, I got carried away." Belle was momentarily caught by the single drop of her own blood glimmering on Red's lip, until Red licked it away, quick like it was a reflex.

"I'm okay. It's fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Let's go in, shall we?"

Red nodded and took the hand that Belle reached out for her. Hand in hand they walked cautiously closer to the castle's giant double doors. Red's body felt tense beside her and Belle gave her hand a little squeeze, trying to convince her that it didn't matter, all the while convincing her own mind the same. The last steps were walked in silence. If they hadn't been so caught up in each their thoughts of the kiss, maybe one of them would have seen the faint shape of a figure in the upper window of the left tower, watching them as they entered.

Belle remembered being shoved through those double doors, the first time she arrived. Rumpelstiltskin had been rather rough in his treatment at first. Not cruel, just devoid of any kind of gentleman manners. Those had only begun to shine through in the end. She saw the giant hallway before her inner eye, dusty but magnificent in its own way. The curled staircase crawling along each side of the rounded walls, the enormous, but marvelous crystal chandelier, which Belle always thought seemed a little ill-fitted with Rumple's character, but it was beautiful nonetheless.

"Red", Belle said as Red touched the handle on the door. She froze and turned to look at Belle.

"Yeah?"

"I don't think we should tell Rumple about us. I think it's better if he doesn't know." Red's eyes narrowed for a moment and the lingering smile faded a little. Belle added: "It's not that I don't want it out there, I just think that it might set him off. The way I left things, it might upset him. So at least until I get a chance to talk to him and explain everything… Okay?" She held Belle's gaze for a little longer. Then she nodded and the suspicious expression turned back to a faint smile.

"Okay, if you think so."

"Thank you."

Red nodded, slipped her hand out of Belle's and turned the knob on the door. With just a tiny hint of effort in her features she pushed the door open and they stepped inside.

The inside was nothing like Belle remembered it.

The first thing she noticed was that the beautiful chandelier was no longer hanging from the sky high ceiling, but spread out on the entire floor. The metal rings that made the internal structure was lying in the middle of the hall just beside the broken table, which it must have fallen onto, like carcass of steel, marking the self-inflicted destruction done to his home. The pieces of crystal lay like a pool of shiny blood around the scene and spread out in circles on the floor, sliding so far at the impact that they covered the entire room. Belle gasped at the sight and her hand flew to her mouth as she took in the whole scene.

"Oh my God…"

With the light from the chandelier gone, the entrance was left in a dusty dark. Only the dim light from the outside world kept in from turning black as the autumn sun shone in through the windows high above the door.

Next came the gloomy atmosphere that hung over the place. It hadn't been there before either. The atmosphere hadn't exactly been friendly the first time she arrived, but it hadn't been like this. She would call it dead, if it wasn't for the creeping feeling of being watched. There was a graveyard feeling to the place, like the surveillance she sensed was the undead stare of every piece of furniture in the giant room.

"So…" Red whispered cautiously. "Which way should we go?"

"Um", Belle wavered, her mind not yet recovered from the impact of the radical change of the castle, she had left just a few weeks ago. _God, he really did tear the whole place up_. She wondered with unease what would have become of her, if she had stayed during this rampage. "To his study I would guess."

"Do you know the way?"

Belle nodded, but still didn't move. She let her gaze wander over the walls and saw the deep cracks in them, cracks that descended all the way to the left staircase. This had been torn through, planks ripped up and the thick carpet shredded. Whatever magic Rumpelstiltskin had thrown its way, it had left it looking ramshackle and useless. The chair standing along the wall of right staircase was left unharmed and same went for the big grandfather clock. It was ticking away, producing a manic lullaby to the silent destruction.

She felt Red's had on her lower back, gently pushing her to take a step towards the intact staircase. Belle sensed her impatience and forced herself to start walking. Their steps were heard above the ticking of the clock, too loud in the silence, as they skipped across the floor, while avoiding the pieces of broken crystal. The staircase creaked beneath their feet, complaining at the pressure of being touched again after the mayhem it had already endured.

As they reached the top of the staircase the door slammed shut with an ear piercing noise that made Belle jump. The blow made the broken crystal on the floor jingle.

"I guess he knows we're here", Red said quietly. Belle said nothing, but merely nodded. She didn't like how loud their voices sounded. The echo from Red's voice was ricocheting off the walls and thrown back in an eerie tone. "Was there this much echo before?"

"No", Belle whispered. "Nothing is like before."

They turned left into the maze of Rumpelstiltskin's many hallways, corridors and rooms, which came in all sizes. She had been to his study a few times, bringing him supper when he was caught up in something. He would sometimes spin gold in there, when he didn't want company. On better days he would spin in the large dining hall, which was somewhere below them. She thought that if the appearance of his entrance hall reflected his mood at all, he would not set foot in the dining hall.

As they continued along the way more destruction revealed itself to them. Once again Belle noticed how most of the furniture seemed to be intact, but the floors, walls and a few things like lamps and mirrors were torn to pieces. The windows were barred and the further they walked from the entrance hall, where the light was still being let in, the thicker the dusty darkness became.

"It's getting really dark down there", Belle said, looking nervously down the corridor, which they would have to go through to get to his study.

"Yeah. Hey, hold on", Red said and moved to the outer brick wall to their right. On the walls were fastened metal racks for torches. Belle remembered those. Rumple never used them, because electricity used to work. He said they came with the castle. Red took down the plinth that used to hold the flame. "I can make this work if we can get some paper for a spark to catch."

"The library is on the way there", Belle said not without a hint of pain at the thought of murdering books to make a torch. She surrendered to her fear of the glooming dark ahead and let the way as Red followed with the metal plinth in her hand.

"Do you hear that?" Red asked. Belle listened, but heard nothing. Her ears weren't as good as Red's and she shook her heard.

They moved further into the hallway and the light started to wear thin. Belle held onto the hope that the top window of Rumpelstiltskin's beautiful library wasn't barred, so she could stop feeling like the shadows were choking her. She felt a warm hand around her own. She looked up at Red.

"What, you're trembling. It's not like he's right here", Red said. Belle wanted to argue, because Red didn't understand that Rumple sometimes saw thing through something other than his own eyes, but the warm fingers entwined in hers brought her comfort and she decided this was still harmless. Red kept close to her as they continued down the hall until a spot of light became visible.

"It's in there."

A square beam of light was let out from the room, lightening a tiny portion of the corridor. As they came closer it appeared the door had been ripped from its hinges, breaking them apart in the motion. Belle's footsteps picked up speed and she hurried towards the library like a child running for sanctuary. They would enter at the second story and Belle longed for the peaceful view of the millions of books, neatly lined in thick mahogany bookcases from top to floor.

The sight that met her almost brought tears to her eyes. From the balcony at the second story entrance she had direct view of the largest of the three-story bookcases, now torn all the way through with a large crack down the middle, as if lightning had struck it. Many of the shelves were empty as the books had been flung out and ripped to shreds. The torn offal of the books had fallen to the ground and she looked down at the massive pile of torn pages covered the ground floor beneath her. Even on the balcony lay tiny shreds of paper and twisted book covers sprawled under her feet. Belle looked around the room to see the same amount of destruction done to the rest of the library. This was another kind of graveyard to her.

"Oh Rumple…" She whispered. Her eyes fell on the collected of chairs, a small table and a reading lamp in the far end of the floor. It could be reached by walking along the bridge that went all the way across the room at second story. Neither this, her favorite reading spot, had avoided the chaotic attack. The lamp was nowhere to be seen, but the chairs and table was smashed to smithereens. Belle couldn't help but feel that to be a personal vendetta against her.

"Are you okay?" Red asked hesitantly from behind her.

Belle nodded. "I just can't believe he did this… Um, just take whatever you need."

Red stroke her arm in a brief comfort before walking over to the shelves, picking out the first book she could find – one of the few that had kept its place – and started tearing out pages. Belle tried not to care about the treatment of the book. Wrecking it like that was truly a disgrace, but a desperate situation calls for desperate measures. Belle was starting to feel that despair crawling up in her. This was far worse than she could have imagined.

"I'll just use the bricks to get the torch fired up. Do you need a moment?" It was obvious in Red's voice that the destruction of the library held no meaning to her. To Belle this was by far the worst. Not only because of her love for books, but because Rumpelstiltskin must have thought of her, when he wrecked the place. Belle said nothing and Red walked out to make the torch. Turning around one more time Belle looked around at the room, where she had found comfort on days, when Rumple had been impossible to go near, and then left.

Red's upbringing must have taught her a thing or two about starting fires, because for the second time Belle was a little astonished at her ability to create it so fast. The warm light from the torch in her hand cast a golden glow on the road ahead and Belle felt a little safer as they continued towards the study.

As they walked ahead a low scratching noise was heard. It became louder as they seemed to approach whatever was producing it. Belle looked up at Red.

"Do you hear it now?" Red asked.

"The scratching?"

She nodded and held up the torch a little higher. Something in a distance was reflecting the light. It must be moving because brief flashes of light were repeatedly being shot back at them. The scratching sound increased with every step they took. As the light from the flame started to get a hold of the unknown noisemaker Belle could see faint movement. It wasn't a person, or they would have reacted by now. It must be some device attached to the wall. As they came closer the light became bright enough for Belle to see and the sight was truly unsettling.

Floating in the air was a silver knife. Held by no hand, it continued to carve something into the wooden inner wall. And it wasn't just aimlessly carving, it was writing something. A short line:

_Be our guest_


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Sorry it took a little longer than usual, had an exam that needed to be dealt with first. But anyway here it is, and great thanks for the continuous support! If anyone's interested in musical inspiration, I listen to a lot of Sia and Ed Sheeran at the moment.**

**Chapter 13**

"What the hell is this place?" Red said warily, while watching the knife carving the last of the t – just to float back to the beginning and start over, carving a little deeper this time.

"I can't believe what happened here", Belle whispered and her eyes followed the movements of the knife. "Things weren't usually alive, when I was here."

Red looked at her. "Usually?"

"Well, there was a carriage at one point, but nothing ever did _that_."

Red took another look at the small blade. It wasn't very sharp, so it must have been hanging there for quite a while to engrave something so deep into the wood. She had heard it all the way from down the corridor, but never imagined it to be this.

Red absently reached a hand out towards it, wondering if it would disturb its work.

Belle caught her by the wrist.

"Don't touch it", she whispered. "Who knows if it changes target."

"I wasn't going to. I think it's silver."

"Can we go now?" Belle pleaded and Red turned towards her. Her eyes were full of fear and Red hadn't forgotten how she felt about the dark. She nodded.

"Sure, let's just find him, so we can get out of here."

They walked further down the corridor while Red lit their way with her improvised torch. There were plenty of doors as they walked on, but Belle seemed to know exactly which one they were headed towards. To Red they all looked the same.

Honestly the dark didn't bother her. She had lived in the dark for days in a row and she had hunted in the dark with her grandmother, but most importantly the creature inside her felt more at ease with this than the light. It only ever saw the black sky and the stars, never the sun.

Her indifference to the darkness aside, there was something unsettling about the atmosphere in this place. She felt watched. Not by human eyes, but by some inhuman presence, but she couldn't explain what it was. It was like every chair or closet they past had eyes and followed their every movement. She had noticed how everything piece of furniture, maybe except for those in the library was left intact, even though the rest looked like something the wolf could have left in its wake. The pieces of brick she had used to knock together to create a spark was one she had found on the ground. The outer wall was so crumbled that there must be something besides the internal structure of the castle to hold it in place. Possibly dark magic. She had that feeling. It was the same atmosphere she had felt eluding from the dark wizard the first and only time she had ever met him. She wondered why Belle hadn't mentioned that, when speaking of him, because it had been the very first thing to strike Red. Maybe she had some special ability to see through those things. She must have, otherwise she would have run away first chance given. The girl was truly one of a kind. She was walking close to Red right now, trembling vaguely at times where foreign noises were heard, but still she possessed a braveness Red would never learn to understand the depth of.

Red heard the noises too. It was likely that she heard more of them than Belle, given her heightened senses, but she had decided not to tell Belle unless she sensed actual danger. She seemed to have enough on her mind. The discovery of the destroyed library had really shaken her.

"We need to make a right here", Belle said as the corridor split in two. The corridors looked just the same to Red. The cold stonewalls seemed to reach into forever. A small pile of broken bricks lay sporadically dropped along the wall of the outer corridor, but other than that they were as similar as two drops of water. They turned and walked deeper into the heart of the castle. If it was true that Rumpelstiltskin had gone on a rampage the day Belle left and made all this mess, this part would not have seen the light of day for little over two weeks. Or a broom for that matter. The air was thick with dust. Red couldn't help but think that Belle's job as a maid here must have been hard work.

"It's just up those stairs." Belle pointed. The path split again and they headed up the staircase to a broader corridor revealing more closed doors.

"God, how did you ever find your way in here?"

"It took a while. It helps to know that the castle is symmetric, so if you can memorize how one part looks, the other is just a mirror. I was mostly in this wing. Here is – was – the library, his study, the kitchen and the dining hall, which were the places he would mostly stay in. The other wing was… it was where he lived with his family."

"He had a family? Like wife and kids?" Red couldn't help the surprise in her voice. She hadn't pecked the wizard for being a family man. Belle nodded solemnly and by the looks of it, chose to ignore Red's astonishment.

"He did. He had a son, but his wife took him and left not long after they settled in here. He never told me why. He only told me this, because I accidently stumbled upon his son's bedroom while cleaning that section. He sort of divided the castle into family and business or so he told me once."

"What exactly _is_ his business?"

It took a while before Belle answered. Red imagined it was because she might not really know.

"I… can't say precisely what it is, but he seems to be offering his magical skills to people in need, in exchange for, well, whatever he feels is the right price. The price is rarely gold. He makes that himself, from spinning straw." Red thought of the price she had to pay. Her weaknesses. And she thought of Belle's father's price for having his kingdom protected: Belle. Rumpelstiltskin sure was imaginative about his bills.

"I knew that actually. About the spinning gold. He told me the night I got my hood." She wondered what she would have to do to get it fixed and found that she dreaded the answer a little bit. "It was sort of amazing how he-" Red stopped talking at the sound of steps. She turned around quickly and down the small hallway something seemed to be moving in the dark. It stood still for just a moment before disappearing behind the wall. It had looked like a human figure.

"What is it?" Belle asked with caution.

"Nothing I guess." Belle didn't look like she believed her, but said nothing.

"What were you saying then?"

"I was just gonna tell you how he made my hood from two strands of hair, one of mine and one of his. The hood just grew from that, it was unbelievable."

"I never really understood how his magic worked. I never asked about it. I don't like magic. I think it's what made him so… vengeful. I can't help but blame his wife too. If she hadn't left him, he might be entirely different." Red didn't answer that, she had nothing to contribute. She could only tell what she had experienced during her short meeting with him and she doubted that Belle wanted to hear what she had to say about him.

Belle gestured for another turn and Red lifted the torch to shine ahead.

"It should be just down here."

It was a much smaller corridor this time. The walls felt a little too close and Red felt a hint of claustrophobia. Soon Belle stopped in front of a door and hesitated a moment before touching the knob, as if to prepare herself for whatever this room might divulge.

The door opened effortlessly and revealed a room as gloomy as the rest of the castle. It was probably twice the size of the room they had shared at the tavern and the arrangement was quite simple. A table, a chair, a few bookcases. Red had halfway expected an entire laboratory with flasks of bobbling liquids in strange colors. Instead it looked like a place meant for reading. Red noticed that everything in here was untouched by the massacre they had witness in larger halls and the entrance.

It was also empty.

"It looks pretty untouched", Red noted. In more than one way. The layer of dust that the crushing of bricks and wood had created on much else seemed to have seeped in here too, painting everything a dull grey. There was a window in here, which Red found weird. She would have thought they were in the middle of the castle, but apparently not. She was usually better at telling directions, but this place had thrown her completely off. The window was barred and didn't let much light in anyway.

"It does", Belle agreed.

Red stepped into the room and allowed herself a look at the dark wizard's study. Judging from the covers of the books, he was studying various kinds of poison, mythological creatures and spells. All that fit well with Red's expectations. There were also books that seemed to be in an entirely different language, judging from the odd symbols on the spine of the books.

An eerie mood starting creeping up on her, as she walked around the room. The beast within her was twisting and turning in its sleep, like something in this room was calling for it, trying to wake it up. Something that spoke directly to the wolf, but avoided her human ears.

"_Let it out_."

She spun around, but there was no one standing there, apart from Belle who lingered in the doorway. At Red's sudden movement she looked at her with confusion.

"What's the matter?"

Red listened for a moment, but when nothing more was heard, she shook her head. "Nothing. Just thought I heard something, but it's gone."

She had heard something. It had the same nasal tone she remembered present in Rumpelstiltskin's voice. He wasn't here though. The sound had come from directly behind her and if he had appeared, even for a second, Belle would have seen him.

"Where should we go now then?"

"I'm not sure. Let's check the dining hall, just to be sure."

"Lead the way." She walked to Belle and as the light fell back on the small corridor Belle started moving. She led them back the way they had come, to the first place where the corridor had split in two. This time they took the straight road.

"Belle, was that bench there before?" Red pointed at a small wooden bench with dark green upholstery, standing against the wall beneath one of the barred windows. This too seemed to be in perfect shape, not even a scratch in the wooden legs. The bricks were still there, only now the bench was standing in their midst.

Belle shrugged. "I don't know, I didn't notice." She continued on while gesturing for Red to follow. Red could have sworn the intersection had been devoid of furniture.

The way to the dining hall was a lot less complicated. Belle led them a little further down the larger corridor to another staircase, leading downwards this time. From here they were led through a large hallway and towards huge double doors, resembling those at the entrance hall. Again Belle hesitated before pushing them open. It took a little effort this time and Red leaned forward to help. Finally one swung open, revealing an enormous room. Possibly the biggest room Red had ever seen. She had only ever been in small towns, never within an actual castle. Rooms didn't come in these sizes where she came from. She imagined this place would have looked glorious just weeks ago. Now it was wrecked like the rest.

In the middle were a giant table and enough chairs to seat two dozen people. The table, however, was broken down the middle, split in two, and most of the chairs had their backs or legs missing, which caused them to lie around the table in a slain manner. Red was a little taken aback at the sheer force it must have taken to break that thick wooden table in half like that. The heavy curtains hanging from the ceiling suggested windows at the length of thrice her size. The fabric was now shredded to pieces and hung flatly down in front of the barred windows, no longer neatly held aside. On the floor around the windows lay fallen shreds of fabric, like the curtains were bleeding strings. Along the walls were pieces of porcelain statuettes, some cracked down the middle, some beheaded figures, and beside them cabinets with broken glass doors, containing all kinds of small items. Red couldn't tell what they were from here.

What she could tell was that this was yet another dead end. The former magnificent dining hall was empty and abandoned in the dark like everything else they had encountered so far.

Beside her Belle drew a heavy sigh full of pain. It was like every sight of damage done to the castle inflicted another invisible wound on her. There were tears in her eyes now as she laid them upon the devastation before her. Red reached out and stroked her upper arm gently. Absentmindedly she drew a little away and walked to the center of the room, where she stopped and looked around slowly. Red stood back and let her have a minute to take in the ruins of her not so distant past.

"Rumple, what have you done?" She heard her mumble under her breath. Her small fingers brushed against a broken chair and she continued around the table towards the ornaments and cabinets at the far end. She didn't even seem to notice the fading of the light as she put distance between herself and the torch that Red was holding. Belle hugged her arms around her body as she stepped closer to look at the items in the cabinet. Her fingers continued to slip over the broken surfaces, like she was drawing in the memories through touch. She stopped and took something down from the tilted shelf. Something white and small that fit into her hand.

Red slowly stepped closer. Her steps, usually so soundless, could be heard in this dead silence, but Belle didn't notice. Her eyes were fixed in the small item in her hand. It appeared to be a cracked porcelain cup.

"Did you find anything?"

She shook her head, but didn't take her eyes of the cup. "No, it's… just something from our past. I dropped this cup while serving him tea, because he had made a crude joke about having me skin children, as he gave me a list of my duties. He never harmed kids, I'd like to ad, but obviously he's aware of his bad reputation. Anyway, I apologized, afraid he would be mad, but he looked at me with eyes that held, well, something different. It was the first time he looked at me like that and it was the first time I realized that he was not the evil man everyone made him out to be." Belle sighed and put it back, running a hand along the splintered edge one more time before letting her hand drop. Red watched her as she did. Belle spoke of their past like it was ages ago. It was so different from a few days ago, when she was telling Red about her stay here and her feelings for the wizard with that occasional small smile on her lips. Now her face only expressed sadness. Red didn't like this display of such deep feelings for Rumpelstiltskin, but she knew she had no right to be mad. It was Belle's past and Belle had the right to mourn the loss of whatever good memories she had made here. Still her envy made the monster inside her growl, made it want to break out and wipe this man out of her head.

Red curled her hands into fists, suddenly frightened by the direction her thoughts had taken.

"_You know you want to_."

Red gasped and her head snapped up, but there was nothing above her, where his voice had come from.

Belle flinched at her sudden movement and looked at her with worry.

"You okay?"

Red snapped back into focus and nodded. "I'm fine."

She didn't want Belle to know that the voice scared her. The voice knew her. But it was wrong, she didn't want the wolf out, she didn't want to lose control again. She couldn't stand thinking of even the possibility of hurting Belle, this brave and selfless, yet fragile girl who found goodness in monsters like Red and cried for mad wizards like Rumpelstiltskin. Red might be an outcast and a murderer, but to hurt Belle… There was nothing lower than that.

"You heard something didn't you? And before too, in his study." Belle had turned around and was watching Red carefully now. She had wrapped her arms around her body again.

Red shook her head. "I thought I did, but it was just the wind."

"Don't lie to me, Red. There's no wind here."

Red sighed in defeat. "Okay, you're right. I didn't want to upset you, but I heard a… voice."

"A voice? Whose?" Her eyes widened slightly as it seemed to dawn her. "Rumple's?"

"Yeah. I think so. It told me to let the wolf out. But I won't do that, so don't worry."

Belle looked confused. "But wouldn't you need the full moon to do that?"

"At full moon I have no choice but to turn. For the rest of the month I can, if I try hard. Like I told you with my mother, she did it sometimes, when the moon wasn't full. But don't worry, I won't let that happen."

It wasn't the entire truth. If she tried she might get the wolf out, but the problem was that the wolf wanted out all the time, and just like seeping through into her emotions, the wolf could actually break out if she lost control. Like her mother did in the process of trying to gain it. Usually her mother would settle for a half outbreak, that hybrid interface of being half human and half wolf, but a few times the wolf would take fully over. That was when Red got the curfew, she so happily obeyed.

Belle seemed to buy it though. That book she had read on werewolves must have not told her the whole story. Maybe the author got eaten before getting to that part.

"So, now what? He wasn't here either", Red said in hopes she could get them moving out of here and away from their current conversation. She felt like they were trapped in a game of hide and seek and the hider definitely had the home ground advantage.

"I'm not sure maybe-" Belle stopped talking abruptly and her eyes widened even more. The color in her cheeks paled a bit. It seemed like for once, Belle was hearing something Red couldn't.

"What? What is it?"

Belle's eyes came back into focus. "Th-the chambers. I think he just told me to go to the chambers." She stared a little into space, shaken at the sudden sound of his voice, by the looks of it. "I wish he would stop doing that." She shivered.

"You mean he used to do that?"

Belle then shook her head and looked up. "No. I mean, he did sometimes at the beginning, but not a lot. I told him once, that I thought it was uncomfortable, so he stopped. I don't understand why you would hear his voice though?"

Red shrugged, not wanting to admit that it was most likely just to scare her. And that it was working. "I don't know. Do you know the way to the chambers?"

Belle nodded, while looking around with a little hesitancy.

"Shall we go then?" Red tried to keep her voice light and kind, sensing the sudden weight in Belle's gaze. Red felt this place was starting to get to her and she wanted the deal over with as soon as possible.

Belle finally nodded. "Yes. I'm ready now."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Seeing the castle in ruins like that had made a much bigger impact on Belle that she had imagined it would. Especially the library and the dining hall. Finding that cup, that manifestation of their initiating love, in the middle of the ruins had taken her completely aback. She realized now that her feelings for Rumple were still there, even though none of the facts had changed. His soul was still too darkened to contain her love and her heart couldn't connect with his like she wanted it too. And then there was Red. Belle stole a glance at the beautiful girl walking beside her protectively with the torch held high to light their steps. Her feelings for this girl were real too, she had no doubt about that.

She knew the girl could tell that she was torn. Red's trained eye missed nothing. She had kept her distance ever since they had entered, just like Belle had asked her too, but it wasn't just physical distance. Her mind felt further from Belle too, miles away from where they had been last night by the fire. Or earlier this morning just outside. There was so much passion in Red, but it seemed frozen at the moment. Encaged and pushed deep beneath the surface. Left were only her sharp gaze and her animalistic movements to characterize her as the Red Belle had come to know. It made Belle wish that they would find Rumple soon, hopefully sort some things out and be on their way. Belle didn't know how exactly. She knew helpfulness didn't come easy to Rumple and she didn't know what he would want in return. She didn't know if he would talk to her, if there was any chance of them mending the wounds they had inflicted on each other. Then there was the issue that Red had never mentioned what was to happen of them, when this task was over. Would she leave without looking back?

It all depended on the hood, Belle imagined.

They ascended the staircase that led from the dining hall back to the corridor and out towards the entrance. The stairs leading to Rumpelstiltskin's chambers was in the other wing of the castle. Over there wasn't just for family. The chambers were the right wings version of the dungeons located in the left. She had only ever been there once, because Rumple went down there with his spinning wheel, when he wanted absolute silence. No noises went that far down through the floors and it was always silent like the grave.

And that was where the voice – _his_ voice – had told her to go. It had suddenly whispered in her ear for her to take the wolf and go to the chambers. Nothing more than that. The sound of it had made the hairs on her neck stand on edge. She could do nothing other than obey.

She cast another glance towards Red. Apparently he had been speaking to her too, but with much less helpful words. To Belle she looked a little nervous.

As Belle watched her, her eyes widened and Belle immediately followed her gaze. What met her eyes was the empty cross section they had passed when going the other way earlier.

"The bench is gone again! You saw it the last time, right?" She looked at Belle, strangely agitated. Belle nodded, she had seen it standing there up against the wall as if to offer them a break in their search. Now it was nowhere to be seen.

"It's moving. It's switching places. It's like it has gotten a life of its own."

"Don't say that", Belle objected. She couldn't exactly disagree, but she surely didn't like the thought of furniture coming to life. Not after that feeling. That atmosphere of surveillance and the animated knife, writing on the wall. She was sure Rumple had something to do with it and bringing about his furniture for company was no good sign.

"How else would you explain it?" Red insisted.

"I don't know", Belle admitted. "We'll find out, when we find Rumple. We need to cross the entrance again and go down on the other side."

When they passed the library Belle wanted to walk by, but Red stopped them shortly, so she could gather more paper for the torch. Once again Belle had to set aside her dismay at treating knowledge as firewood in order to keep the darkness at bay. Red hurried, perhaps sensing Belle's reluctance to be there and they walked back the way they came. Belle led them through and drew another sigh at the sight of the smashed chandelier on the floor. Now less light was coming in through the large windows, which thankfully hadn't been broken as Rumpelstiltskin had acted out his frustrations. Otherwise it would be much colder in here.

"What's in the chambers?" Red asked.

"Nothing really, except sometimes his spinning wheel. He takes that with him everywhere", Belle explained. Red nodded and continued to look ahead.

Moving away from the entrance, the dark became thick again and the light just a lit circle around them. It cast the warm light a little up each wall, but didn't reach very far down the staircase they would have to descend to get to the chambers. Red stepped forward and walked first, lighting the way for Belle.

Halfway down, she stopped dead in the middle of a step and her head flew to the side. Belle watched her cautiously for a moment before she dared asking.

"Is it him again?"

Red nodded, but said nothing. Her expression was distressed and it made Belle nervous. Rumpelstiltskin was telling her to let out the wolf, but why? What would he want with a wild animal stuck inside his castle?

At the end of the stairs the corridor separated into three paths.

"Which one?" Red asked. Her voice had become stiff and emotionless. This place was doing something to her, Belle could feel it. The playful nature she had expressed on their way here was long gone from her face and body.

"Um, the second I think. Yes, that one." Red continued to walk as soon as Belle had pointed it out and she hurried to keep up the pace. The impatience was evident in Red's every move. Belle guided them through the maze-like structures of the cellar corridors until they reached the one that ended in Rumpelstiltskin's chambers. The air was thick with moist down here and Belle's breathing took more effort. Getting closer, she could hear the vague creaking of the spinning wheel and she knew that this time they had reached their goal. It filled her with ambivalence and she once again realized that she had no idea what would happen once they entered the room.

From the other side of the door she could hear him mumble, but she couldn't make out the words. Red didn't hesitate at all, but opened the door and walked right in. Belle entered slowly behind her.

It knocked the breath out of her to see him again. He looked just like two weeks ago, but then again not. His greyish skin looked even less like human flesh, the hair, neat and curly before, hung from his face in pale, messy strands and his eyes were darker, as they fixated on the wheel that his long, slim, grey fingers kept running. The golden thread flew from the wheel at incredible speed and the pile beside the wheel was reaching the height of her hips. Now she could hear what he was mumbling.

"_-comes. When full the gleaming moon becomes, something wicked this way comes. When full the gleaming moon becomes, something twisted this way comes. When full the-"_

"Rumple", she whispered, barely audible, but enough for him to finally react to their presence. He stopped the chanting. The creaking of the spinning wheel stopped as his hands and feet left the instrument and very slowly he turned towards them. First he looked at Belle and she could barely recognize him in the eyes of the man before her. His pupils had dilated so much his eyes were almost entirely black and there were no facial expressions left to decipher. Like his muscles had died. For a second she thought his mouth twitched, but then he turned his head to Red and his black eyes narrowed.

"Is the moon early this month?" He asked with a nasal voice that seemed almost foreign to Belle.

"Rumpelstiltskin, I have a favor to ask." Red said in that same stiff voice.

At that hysterical laugher ripped up though his throat. He laughed so hard and long he almost tilted off his stool.

"I don't do favors", he then said in his normal voice. "I do deals."

"I already did a deal with you. My hood." Red untied it from her neck and flung it out to show him the deep tears in the fabric. Rumpelstiltskin spared it a brief glance and then looked back to her face. Whatever little expression his dead face could muster it appeared to be of hatred. It shone from his eyes too. Belle wanted to pull Red away from the look he was giving her, but didn't dare to touch her. "It was torn by a sword and now the magic is gone from it. You already got paid for it. I just need it to work again."

He only chuckled this time, but the manic tone was still in it.

"Oh no, it doesn't work that way. Insurance would have cost you extra. You can go, you have nothing more to pay me." He waved a hand at her to go away and Belle could feel Red's whole body tense up as she struggled to keep her temper in check.

"What did you pay him?" Belle whispered to her.

"It doesn't matter", she said abruptly.

"I'm sure it does."

Red ignored her, but looked straight at Rumple. "There must be something else you want? I'll give you anything."

"You said that the last time too. We don't want anything from you."

"You have to help me!" Red snarled. Belle noticed the feral quality to her tone and briefly worried, if this meant that she was really losing her temper this time. Her hands were trembling slightly, she noticed. At the sudden outburst a deranged smiled spread on Rumpelstiltskin's dry, cracked lips. He stood up and walked a few steps towards them.

"We don't have to do anything. You can't make us." He walked closer until he was just a few feet from them. Here he stopped and his gaze turned to Belle again. He cocked his head slightly to the side and watched her. Belle felt petrified in that moment and said nothing, as his alien gaze scrutinized her. When he reached out a hand, Red stepped in front of him.

"Belle, get back", she snapped and shoved Belle behind her back. Belle couldn't resist the strong force of Red's push and almost stumbled over her own feet as she moved backwards. At that moment she wasn't sure which made her the most nervous: The foreign, mindless look in Rumple's eyes or this new, desperate behavior of Red's. Rumpelstiltskin chuckled again.

"It's not me she needs protection from."

"I think it is. We saw what you did to the rest of the castle, so I'm not letting you anywhere near her."

"Belle is made of blood and bone, she won't break like wood and stone." Belle couldn't see his face from here, only hear the words and the singsong way they were spoken. "Belle, let me see you."

Belle froze as he spoke directly to her for the first time. His voice had grown a little softer now and the manic tone was temporarily gone.

"No", Red said and kept her stance.

Belle laid a hand on her shoulder. "Red, it's okay. Let me through."

"Belle I don't think so."

"Red." She didn't need to say more. Red sighed and stepped aside, just enough for Belle to take one step forward. Rumple's gaze was fastened on her hand touching Red's shoulder and didn't meet her eyes until she dropped the hand.

He didn't speak, but merely watched her, while something happened in his face. Little twitches and grinding of teeth. His hand reached up a few times, but dropped again. Belle sensed a massive struggle going on inside him.

"Rumple, I'm so sorry I left. I should have stayed with you and maybe we could have worked it out." Belle searched his face for any sign that he understood her words, but found only a blank expression. "But what is done is done. Things are different now, I just need you to not do this to yourself. I know that you're not the monster you try to make yourself out to be. I need you to understand that I _did_ love you, and I always will. I can't leave without you knowing that. And believing it."

"That so?" He then said. The nasal foreign voice was speaking. "But you return after two weeks with a wolf?"

"Rumple, please understand…"

"Don't lie! You don't think we saw you out there? You don't think we saw you _kiss_ the wolf? It made you bleed. I never hurt you Belle. But that one will." He glance was cold as he pointed at Red.

It dawned Belle how careless they had been. Once again her thoughtfulness had vanished at a crucial time and now she had hurt him again. Her hopes of a calm conversation seemed to be disappearing like sand between her fingers.

"Oh God, Rumple I'm sorry. But listen to me. What I feel for her doesn't change my feelings about you. We both know that you made a choice between me and your powers. We both know you and I will never work because of that. I came here to let you know that even so, I love you and I want you to stop punishing yourself."

A series of twitching motions went over his face and Belle had no way of telling, if he had heard a single word of what she had said. His almost entirely black eyes shifted between the two girls and his mouth made wordless movements. Belle reached out and took his cold, rough hand. He didn't respond to the touch at all. She felt the tears rise to her eyes.

"Rumple, please listen to me. Please? It kills me to see you like this, this is not who you are. You're a good man, no matter the darkness in your heart. It doesn't matter who I love-"

His hand ripped out of hers. He hissed at her with a wordless, inhuman sound.

"Who you _love_." He spat. "Do you want to see who you love, Belle? Let me show you the monster you rejected us for." His head turned towards Red and something in his eyes made the color drain from her face. As he turned his body around, she backed away from him all the way until she hit the wall. By that time he had already caught her, suddenly moving so fast Belle's eye couldn't follow. He put a hand on her chest and before any of them could take a second to understand what was happening, he curled his hand into a claw and pushed. Red groaned breathlessly and the pain was painted all over her face as Rumpelstiltskin's hand disappeared into her chest. Her arms went limp and her knees buckled, but he kept her from falling by closing his free hand around her throat. Her eyes shone with silent agony and tears ran down her face. Belle stood petrified and watched as Rumpelstiltskin's hand reappeared, retrieving something from Red's body, causing another outburst of pain from Red.

It looked like a human heart. Red's heart.

As soon as it was out of her body, he let her go and Red dropped to the floor, where she stayed, staring blankly ahead. She was still alive. Belle looked from the vaguely glimmering, heart-shaped thing in Rumpelstiltskin's hand to the girl sitting on the floor and back again to the heart. It didn't look like it was made of flesh, but rather a flexible kind of glass. How was she alive, if he had ripped out her heart? And where was all the blood?

"What did you do?" Belle whispered in a thin, shaky voice.

"I took her heart", Rumpelstiltskin said in an almost cheerful voice with the same singsong tone as before. "It's quite dark. You haven't been good, wolfy."

Red said nothing, but lifted her head to stare at the heart with empty eyes.

"_Why_?" Belle asked. Her own tears were spilling over now, fleeing down her cheeks.

"Why?" He repeated, mimicking her voice. "Because we want to show you."

"Show me _what_?"

"The wolf of course! You need to understand the monsters you love Belle. You need to see them for what they are." He turned around to face Red, who was following his movements with delayed moments that reminded Belle of when she was sick. Belle felt certain that the danger to her life was graver now than ever.

"Rumple, please stop…"

"Ah!" He held up a hand to silence her without even looking her way. "Get up", he told Red and his hand tightened its grip on her heart. She groaned again and got to her feet, slowly and staggering. "Now we turn-"

"No!" Belle shouted. "Don't do that! Don't do that to her."

He laughed again and the madness shone from his eyes, when he looked at her.

"Why not? Because you loove her?" He grimaced at the word and smiled manically.

"Because it's dangerous!"

"Don't worry, I have the leash." He held up the hand that was squeezing the heart. "Wolfy is not going anywhere until I say so."

"Don't make her turn."

"Who else is going to escort you out?"

"_What_?"

"You shouldn't have come, Belle."

"Rumple, it's enough now." She took a step towards him, but at the first movement he closed the grasp on the glass heart and Red gasped and fell back against the wall, holding her hand to her empty chest. Belle cried out and withdrew her step immediately. With a flicker of his wrist, Rumpelstiltskin made Red stand again, trembling feverishly. Her dead eyes only saw the heart in his hand.

"Ah-ah", he said. "Don't come closer."

"Please stop doing this to her", Belle cried. "What happened to you? Where's the man I fell in love with?"

"Oh he's gone, dearie. Far gone."

"Just tell me what you want me to do. Please, I'll do anything, just please stop!"

"There's nothing you can do. I won't hurt you, I promised that. But I said nothing about the wolf."

"No, please, she hasn't done anything to you!"

"You chose it."

"You wouldn't let me love you!"

"No", he said matter-of-factly. "But we won't let you love anyone else either. Now…" He turned his back to Belle, who sunk to her knees. It was too much to take. She watched as he guided Red up in a straight stance and as she lifted her apathetic, lifeless gaze to meet his eyes, he said: "Wolfy. Time to turn."

A violent shiver shook Red's body. Her green eyes widened and the color brightened until they were gold.

"I like that color", Rumpelstiltskin said. He took a small step back to give Red space. Belle stayed on her knees and watched as the trembling of the girl's body became worse. A hint of emotion returned to her eyes and filled them with panic as she turned her head to look at Belle. Through the uncontrollable shaking of her every muscle, it seemed she was trying to mouth something.

_Run_

It was what Belle had promised to do if things got out of control. It was that time now.

Still she couldn't move. She sat petrified, as she watched the beautiful girl's body convulse, joints breaking apart into larger structures and her entire body swelling, tearing up her clothes. Belle had never seen a sight quite so terrifying. It was an impossible sight. Yet it was happening. Red now looked more wolf than human as the coat of fur broke through the torn clothes. Her face had transformed, the nose had grown to a snout and the pale skin was covered in fur the same color as her long raven hair, which had now disappeared. Her body sunk to a crouch and as the full shape of the wolf broke out, she fell onto her front paws, now a four-legged creature. The only thing left of Red was the golden eyes that still looked more human than canine. But there was no recognition in them.

"Time to run", Rumpelstiltskin said and giggled hysterically. He held up the heart and squeezed.

The giant wolf in front of Belle roared in pain and bared its teeth at her. This was what finally made her move. The terror turned to adrenaline in her veins and she scrambled to her feet and stumbled out of the door without a second look on either of her monstrous former lovers.

She had barely run down the hall, before she heard the wolf howl; an agonized, feral outburst that sounded just like the one she had heard the last time she had fled from Rumpelstiltskin. The sound made her blood turn to ice, but she kept running. She heard the unmistakable sound of claws scratching the stone floors and crashing through the door to chase her. She ran back through the maze-like corridors, searching frantically for the stairs that led back up and desperately aware that there was no way she could reach them before the wolf caught up with her. She could hear the heavy paws pounding against the ground, the sound coming closer by the second. He had said he didn't want to hurt her, only escort her out, but what about Red? The girl, now a monster chasing her, what did she promise? How strong was Rumple's so called leash?

Suddenly the stairs were right down at the end. Belle ran towards it, hoping that the labyrinth behind her had confused the beast. She stumbled on the first steps and knocked her knees right into the edge of the next step. The pain brought more tears to her eyes, but she had no time to cry them. Behind her she heard a heavy _thump_, as the wolf crashed into the wall. It was facing her, the human eyes watching her as it picked up speed again, running to her. Belle, fallen on the stairs, finally gave up the race and settled for a last prayer of recognition, as the wolf leapt towards her.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Last update this year, happy New Year's to everyone!**

**Chapter 15**

When Red woke up, she was curled into a ball on the hard, cold stone floor. Not that she felt the cold much. She didn't feel anything. It took a short while for her to realize where she was and how she had gotten there. Her body felt weary and trembled slightly as she sat up and looked around. She appeared to be sitting in some kind of cell with stone walls on two sides and metal bars on the others. Inside her cell was a tray with water on the ground and a bench that didn't look long enough for her to sleep on. It had a thin, shabby blanket lying on top of it, along with a bundle of clothes.

She looked through the bars to the rest of the room. It wasn't that big and it had the same stone surface as in here. A single lamp hanging from the low ceiling was vaguely lighting the room. On the far end was a closed door. She was alone.

Still unclear of her situation, she looked down at herself. Her clothes were so thoroughly torn she might as well be naked and the shredded edges of it were colored with dark blood. There were blood all over her body and hands as well. She could smell it now too.

Then she remembered. Rumpelstiltskin had refused to repair her hood. He had taken out her heart and taken control over her body, forced her to turn. She remembered Belle crying. Belle…

The blood. She knew by the smell that it wasn't her own. She doubted Rumpelstiltskin would let her touch him. All that was left was Belle.

Somewhere deep inside her a dull pain began. She thought this might have upset here more, but something was preventing her from feeling. Her emotions had been reduced to a tiny ball of ice inside her gut. It made her slightly nauseous, the dull pain was uncomfortable, but it was nothing more than that. She remembered how he had ripped her heart out of her chest. She remembered that she felt real pain then, even worse than the turn, but she couldn't recall the feel of it. It was like a fog had fallen onto her senses, dulling every one of them. Heavy, black smog surrounding her nerves, fading her senses to a minimum and dulling the pain of knowing that she had killed Belle. She tried to picture the girl, but even the sight of her before her inner eye didn't stir within her like it had before. She tried to remember the kisses they had shared, but it felt like an insignificant touch of skin. She might have been panicked at finding herself stuck in this reduced sense of being, but even that meant nothing to her.

She wondered, if he had taken her heart out, why was she still alive? And what was the point?

Hours could have gone by without her noticing, until suddenly the door opened and Rumpelstiltskin stepped inside. He stayed in the doorway for a moment and cocked his head slightly to the side, while watching her. She stared back apathetically.

"You're up. How are we doing wolfy?" Red didn't answer. Her eyes were caught by her faintly shining heart in his left hand. Weren't hearts supposed to be red? Or flesh-like at least? This thing was glimmering like plastic or glass, only not so rigid in structure and it was a dark bordeaux, almost black at places. Rumpelstiltskin chuckled. "Not so chatty?" He walked to the bars and stuck his head in between them. "You should be. I fed you and all." So it was true then.

"Why am I not dead?" Red asked instead. "You ripped out my heart, so why am I still alive?"

"Ah, you mean this?" He held up the hand holding her heart. Looking at it had some sort of hypnotizing effect on her. She couldn't take her eyes of it. Maybe on some level her fogged brain knew that it belonged inside her. "Consider this a metaphor. I took out the _essence_ of your heart, you know, what it stands for: Your emotions and the control over your body. The mechanical function is still intact. Well, sort of." He giggled and took a step back. He looked at her for a while, then made an irritated grimace. "You could at least get dressed by yourself. I don't want to look at this."

Red made no move to get up, but kept staring at the essence of her heart. It looked very solid as essence goes. The vague light, that made the heart glimmer, sort pulsated inside it, as if a tiny light bulb was beating inside it. A heart of light within her own heart of darkness. She felt herself smile humorlessly at the irony.

"I said, get _dressed_." As he spat out the last word his hand squeezed on the heart and a sharp, very real pain cut through her chest, momentarily waking up her clouded brain. She gasped and a hand flew to her chest. Now with her hand on her chest, she could feel the rest of her heart still beating in there. As if pulled by strings she staggered to her feet and started picking off the scarce remains of her clothes. When completely stripped of them, she put on the ones that was lying on the bench for her. It had to be woman's clothing, because it fit quite well, only perhaps a little too large in size.

"Good. I didn't want to waste Milah's clothes on you, but we can't have you running around my castle naked, it's unsanitary. For the furniture." He smiled widely at her, a smile she did not return. Instead she stood still in this new position and continued to stare at the heart.

"You were much more fun with this inside you." Rumpelstiltskin said with irritation in his voice. He watched her as she watched the heart. When he moved his hand a little up, so did her gaze. He moved it down and her head mimicked the motion. He did it a couple more times and then laughed hysterically as she followed his every movement.

"You really are hypnotized, eh? Now, who wants their heart back?" A playful tone had crept into his voice, like he was speaking to a pet dog. Red said nothing. She could still feel the dull pain when she thought of Belle, and she couldn't come up with any reason, why she would want that to get worse. She felt him watch her and she turned her head slightly to meet his annoyed glance.

"You don't want your heart back?"

"No."

"Well", he said, smiling now and holding up his finger at her. "That's not your choice. Come here wolfy."

Red tried to resist this time. She didn't want that dark, glowing thing back inside her. She knew it would only cause her pain. Rumpelstiltskin sighed dramatically and put his free hand down to his waist while looking at her. "For a wolf, your hearing is dreadful. I said, _come here_." He squeezed the heart again and Red groaned in pain. The sheer magnitude of it made her body curl in on itself and she fought to stay upright. Then she started walking. It took only three wavering steps until she reached the bars. The wizard, in turn, took a step forward and held out the heart in front of her.

"Stand still", he said and she did nothing. She was bound to stay put as he brought the heart to her chest, made the same claw of his hand as last time and shoved the thing back into her body.

The pain was excruciating. Red grasped for the bars and desperately held onto them as all feeling disappeared from her legs. Every sensory input seemed for a moment to rush out from the center of her chest with nauseating speed, supported by the convulsions inside her heart. Tears were running down her cheeks uncontrollably, when the heart finally settled into her chest and the pain subsided.

Only to be replaced by a new one.

"No…" Red let go of the bars, but the impact of the memories that she could now feel to their full extent left her almost limp and she staggered backwards. "God, no, tell me I didn't…"

She smelled the blood now, really smelled it. The fog had been blown out by the convulsions and she remembered everything vividly. The conversation. The turning. Belle's tear soaked face as she watched Red turn herself inside out, letting the monster loose. It was like she was rediscovering the past events, only now she felt the full blow of agony, when she realized what she had done. _Not Belle. Please, not Belle_. Her eyes searched desperately for any kind of relief, someone to tell her it wasn't true.

She found only Rumpelstiltskin. He was smiling.

"_No_…" She whimpered and her legs finally gave way beneath her. She fell to the ground as the world spun around her. It had to not be true. It just had to. She saw Belle before her eyes again and this time it did hurt. There was no cloud to cover her senses this time and the sound of Belle's voice cut into Red like razors. She promised to run. Red had told her she shouldn't have come, but she did anyway. _Why didn't you run Belle?_ But of course she must have. Still, no one could outrun the wolf. Red must have caught up with her in no time and… She didn't want to picture it. Instead she looked down again and she realized once more that she was covered in blood. Belle's blood. What was left of the sweet, innocent girl, who had nursed her back to health, was now smeared all over her skin.

"No, get it off. Get it _off_ me!" She started rubbing her hands together and tried to wipe it off in her new clothes, but it was dried and it was stuck. "Get it off me!" She screamed at the man on the other side of the bars and started rubbing her hands on the stone floor until it tore through her skin and the floor turned dark with her own blood.

She heard Rumpelstiltskin clear his throat and her eyes snapped up. He pointed to his left and she followed his finger to the tray of water placed in the corner of her cell. She crawled to it and splashed her hands into the water, but her hands now trembled so bad that she couldn't wash herself properly.

"You still need to drink that."

"No!" She screamed and kicked the tray away. She curled her legs up to her chest, folded her arms around them and buried her face. "No… no… no… no…" She started rocking slowly back and forth, crying and chanting endlessly in hopes that one of the times she said the word, it would be true.

At some point she heard Rumpelstiltskin leave the room, but didn't look up make sure.

After a while it seemed her tear ducts had dried up and she grew quiet. Her throat had gone sore in a way she hadn't felt in a long time. Not since the time she killed that girl and that still had caused her nowhere near the agony she felt now. That girl had no idea who she was, but Belle had known and Belle had put her trust in Red. Red knew from the very beginning that it was a bad idea, but she hadn't been able to resist. Her selfishness had cost yet another life and not just any life. She understood now why the essence of her heart was so black. It took a soul of pure darkness to commit what she had.

She felt dehydrated from all the crying. She looked for the tray, but the sight of the water with the faint red tint made her want to throw up. She would much rather die of dehydration than drink Belle's blood. She dared take another look at her hands. The skin she had torn up was slowly reattaching itself, but there was still blood on them and not only her own, she could smell that. Her blood smelled different from human blood, more bitter somehow.

The creaking of the door told her that the dark wizard was reentering, but she didn't bother to look up before he was right by the bars. She briefly wondered if it would be worth it to launch forward and try to claw his eyes out. She doubted she could muster enough energy in this moment to make an efficient attack.

"Are you done whining wolfy?" He asked coldly. His nasal voice cut through her thoughts and she tried to focus on his face, which he had again stuck in between the bars.

"Why did you let me do that?" She asked in a dead voice, she barely recognized as her own.

"Who said I let you do anything?"

"But you had-" He waved her off and she shut up. It felt almost the same as when he was actually controlling her, only now the smog didn't dull her will to resist, the mind numbing pain did.

"Enough of that. I'm here to discuss your situation. See, you fascinate me, wolf." Red again said nothing, but continued to stare at him from the corner where she had curled up. He lifted an eyebrow, apparently waiting for her to respond, but Red kept her mouth shut. "You aren't that chatty with your essence back either I see."

"Take it out again."

"What?"

"Take my heart out again", Red repeated. She rose to her feet and walked to the bars. Her body was still shivering a little as she did. Rumpelstiltskin withdrew his head from the bars as she moved all the way up to them and pressed her body against them to give him full access. "Just do it."

He giggled again in that high-pitch, manic way. It made a shiver run down Red's spine.

"Please."

"Won't."

"_Please_!"

He shook his head. "No."

"Why _not_?" She hissed.

He giggled again. "Where's the fun it that?"

"_Fun_?" Red sighed and new tears started falling at the rejection of her request. She felt weak and sat down on the bench instead. "Don't you hate me? If you're just gonna kill me, why not get it over with?"

"We don't want to kill you."

"What then?" Red asked, not really sure she wanted the answer. She once again had the feeling of being drained to the core, only this time it wasn't solely the turn that made her feel that way. This time it felt like someone had scraped everything out of her with a blunt knife, leaving her both empty and bleeding on the inside.

He smiled. She remembered that particular smile from the one time she had encountered him before today, but there was a new quality of madness to it.

"We brought you here for a little experiment."

Red looked at him. She didn't feel like she had room for anything beside the pain, but still she felt a tiny bit alarmed by this. She didn't think he could possibly make her feel worse, but nonetheless she had no doubt that whatever it was, it was going to be highly unpleasant. This man seemed to be capable of anything. And was she supposed to comment on the fact that he spoke of himself in plural half the time?

He was still staring at her, perhaps waiting for her to ask him. It made him seem a little childish. He couldn't make her say anything now though. If he wanted control back, he could take her heart and she would gladly let him. Anything to prevent herself from feeling the nausea at the sight of her blood stained hands and the heart wrenching agony of thinking about Belle.

"Aren't you gonna ask?" He looked annoyed.

"No. Take out my heart and I'll do whatever you want."

"No we will not!" He was getting agitated.

Red shrugged and stared at him, focusing all the spite she could manage into her gaze. For a moment they held the stare down, until Rumpelstiltskin snarled in a very inhuman manner, not unlike Red herself, and slammed a hand against the fence. Red didn't even flinch. He sent her one hateful glance before turning and leaving the room.

* * *

><p>Without the windows it was impossible to tell what time of day it was. Staring at the bare walls, occasionally at empty water tray and back to the walls made Red lose her grasp on time. She had no idea how long she had been down here, but it had to be hours since Rumpelstiltskin left. She hadn't moved at all. From her spot on the bench she stared into space and for a while she had tried not to think at all. It had proven too difficult. She had then moved on to consider if she could hang herself with the pathetic excuse for a blanket she had gotten, but she knew it couldn't be done. It took more than that to kill a wolf and she had a preprogrammed survival instinct that would never allow her such foolish action. She couldn't make herself do it. She wondered briefly if she should try to break out, but had cast that aside too. The bars looked too thick for a human body to handle and the wizard had probably put a protection spell on them or something.<p>

Then her mind had drifted to Belle. At first she tried to avoid it, but the more she did, the more she felt the need to think about her. Remember the good things. She thought about the little things Belle did when Red made her nervous, she thought about the number of times Belle had changed her bandage with such delicate touch. How she talked. Red thought about the night in the woods where she had kissed her. The moment it had become evident to her that she couldn't possibly resist anymore. She even smiled as she relived the thrill of realizing Belle felt the same. She thought about the way Belle kissed her. That subtle desire beneath the layer of sweetness and innocence. She could still feel Belle's hands in her hair. Her Belle. That was how it had felt in that moment. Her beautiful Belle, who was so good and brave and kind, even to a monster like Red.

She had killed her saint.

Red sighed deeply, trying to breathe out the pain. She didn't think it possible that her eyes could fill with tears again, but they did. In that moment the door creaked open again and Rumpelstiltskin came in again, carrying what looked like a new tray of water. She didn't bother to dry her eyes.

"New water for you, wolfy. Come get it." He bowed down and pushed the tray inside through the small space on the ground, where the bars ended. He looked up at her as if gesturing for her to come take it.

"Why don't you just make it appear in here? Aren't you a wizard?"

"Just giving you a little exercise", he said and used a foot to push the tray further inside. "Now… the experiment."

"Fine, what is it?" Maybe it was her survival instinct forcing her to answer in order to prepare herself or maybe she had just lost the will to be provocative. Either way she looked at him, waiting for him to tell her.

He flashed a smile of deranged joy and clapped his hands. "We want you to bring out the wolf."

"What?" She thought she should have seen it coming. The mere thought of it made her feel sick again.

"_Welcome you might the wolf inside, in here you can no longer hide_", he sang and skipped a little up at down, like he was dancing to the rhythm of his little rime.

"If you think I'll turn on my own, you're more stupid than you look", she spat at him. This stopped him dead in his dance and his black eyes zoned in on her. They were full of hate as he stepped close to the bars again, gripping one bar in each hand.

"Careful dearie, I am a lot less fun when I'm pissed off."

"Take out my heart and you can make me turn all you want."

He shook his head slowly. "That won't do. We want you to merge with it." At this moment she hated that he knew so much about her past. He even seemed to know things she hadn't told him, and right now she thought she couldn't possibly be the only one seeing the image of her mindless mother walking around with a bestial smile flash before her inner eye. Another shiver shook her body.

"I will never do what you say."

"Oh, I'm sure you will, if you want to ever get out of here."

Red leaned back against the wall. "I'm not sure I do. I've been doing some thinking and I think I should stay locked up in here for the rest of my days."

"Do you now?"

Red nodded and crossed her arms over her cheast. She might not be able to kill herself, but with this man's temper it shouldn't take long for her to provoke him enough to finish the job for her. At first she thought he was already getting heated up again, but then he let out a brief chuckle and looked at her.

"You're telling me your own rescue isn't enough motivation for you to break out?"

"I'm telling you there is nothing you can say that will make me want to ever leave this bench."

To her surprise he giggled again and didn't appear to be the slightest bit annoyed. "That's takes some thinking. Well…" He made a dramatic display of pretending to think and something about the look he gave her next made her feel cold all the way to the core of her body.

"What if I told you that Belle is still alive?"


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Rumpelstiltskin watched them through the window in the left tower of his castle as they approached his property. The sight of Belle returning woke something in him and it felt bittersweet on his tongue. It brought a bit of himself back to the surface again after the new being had thoroughly pushed it down, in its desire to take up the larger space within his head.

_She's only here to spite us. Look what she brought with her, that she-wolf. Look how it controls Belle, look at its eyes. It wants to eat her._

Rumpelstiltskin didn't answer the voice, but fastened his gaze on the two outside. The wolf stopped, holding Belle back by the hand. Said something to her. He couldn't hear it from here, only see. This sinister being in him was like a third eye. It reached beyond the scope of his human sight, allowing him even to get a glimpse of their expressions. The wolf looked troubled, but Belle didn't. She stepped closer and kissed the wolf. She was kissing it!

_Do you see now _Rumple?_ You mean nothing to her. You never did. Let us raise hell on her for deceiving you like that. Let's raise hell on them both._

"No, I don't believe it", Rumpelstiltskin mumbled as his eyes was still fixed on the scene far beneath him. He could see how their embrace became tighter and the kiss deeper. The wolf was bringing out something in his sweet Belle that he hadn't witnessed before, an urgency she had never displayed during her stay. The being laughed at him. _Told you_. The wolf was taking over now, pushing Belle backwards until she finally started to resist and made the wolf back off, breaking the kiss. Belle led a hand to her lips. The being allowed him to see the stained finger, that she was examining, and the drop of blood on the wolf's lips.

_It wants to eat her, it wants to eat her. Rumple you fool, it wants to eat her._

The wolf was apologizing. He recognized the shameful stance and the apologetic expression on its face. He hoped to see Belle dismiss this creature at the display of greed, but she didn't. Belle never could comprehend cruelty. Instead she said something that appeared to soothe the beast and when she reached out a hand, the wolf took it. He watched them as they walked to the entrance and entered the castle.

Rumpelstiltskin stepped away from the window. The pain that he had managed to suppress through the partial destruction of his castle, after he learned that Belle had left, was now resurfacing. He really had scared her away. It was only the moment he succeeded that he had realized just how miserable his plan had been. Now she was here again and what for?

_To taunt you of course. What else could you expect after the way we treated her in the end? _

"I never hurt her."

_Physically no, but there are more ways to cause people pain and you know it. But she deserved it too. Trying to separate us after all this time. Aren't you glad she didn't succeed? You were quick enough to stop her._

Rumpelstiltskin didn't answer the voice again, but looked around the room. He knew they were in his castle. He knew where too. The being enabled him to feel the entire castle as an external system connected to his own body. He couldn't see it clearly, but he had a good idea of it. Because of the wolf. The supernatural were the easiest to pick up. He was sure Belle was still following it.

_They are together you see. In a way you two could never. Are you gonna stand for that? Aren't you gonna punish her, that filthy little betray-_

"Don't call her that!"

The voice went silent, but its presence continued to gnaw inside his skull. It was an inhuman thing that had settled down in him, coexisting in his body and he welcomed it. He had from the very beginning, when he sucked it out of his spell book to master the art of dark magic. It had driven his family away, but it had given him his powers. He couldn't do without them. Even weakened, he held onto them, and even if it meant that the being, from which the powers eluded, was sharing his brain and sometimes taking over.

It laughed inside him again, hysterically, as if it found his agony amusing. Rumpelstiltskin walked rapidly across the floor of his high chamber, unable to collect himself. He felt his mind slipping again at the despair of what he had seen. This was one of the times were he welcomed the being in its overwriting of his thoughts as it took over his body. To spare himself the misery of having thoughts of his own.

_Let's follow them._

So he did. Staying out of sight and preferably out of the wolf's hearing range, he watched them search for him. He sometimes snuck up and whispered things to the wolf, things he knew would set it off. It was still resisting. He watched them as Belle found the library. In the moment of her flight, he had went straight for that room and torn it apart, launching all the despair and temporary hatred into his deadly outbursts of magic, that the being provided. Now he could see what an impact it had Belle. She even whispered his name. The sound of it made him want to resurface from the back of his own mind, but the being made him scoff and disappear, before any of them could realize he was there.

When the being slackened its grip a little, his own chaotic, ambivalent thoughts would come back to him and he withdrew to the spinning wheel. It was the only place he could think of Belle with peace in his mind. It bored the being though and so his peaceful pastime never lasted long.

Only once did the wolf see him on his chase. He had lingered a little too long, watching them. They didn't touch each other inside his castle, but the display of affection was still obvious. It sickened him that Belle would do this. It took the fun out of the chase and he became less careful. After that he drew back to his chambers, where he had brought the spinning wheel down and called for Belle to come down there.

_So we can get our revenge._

"No." So he could free her of this vile beast, she had dragged in. And make her leave him in peace. He didn't trust the being to refrain from hurting her, which was exactly why he had urged her to leave in the first place. When she had done the opposite, trying to get close to him and even touching him with her innocent lips, sucking the dark magic out of him, the being had begun its rampage and he could no longer trust his own body. Now even less. She had to go. Even though it hurt, even though he would once again be forced to hate her for giving up, she had to leave. He called for her to come down and end it.

They finally came and the sudden closeness was more than Rumpelstiltskin's fractured mind could take. His words were a chaos inside his head. They never came out right anymore. They mirrored his childlike regressed mind and his sentences sounded like the rimes he used to tell his son for bedtime, before Milah took him away. Only the content was new. Sometimes the being wrapped itself around his tongue and took over the words. Seeped into his laugh as he taunted the wolf, who so obliviously came to ask him for help.

He had tried to break through the barriers, the being set up, to look at Belle. To talk to her with sense, but as the wolf tried to defend her, his hatred for the thing made it harder to focus. He wanted Belle to hear his apology and understand his explanation. He wanted ignore the fact that she kept implying her love for the beast at her side.

But he also didn't.

His own apology vanished from his mind and he turned his focus to the wolf instead.

"Who you _love_." He spat. "Do you want to see who you love Belle? Let me show you the monster you rejected us for."

He turned to face the beast and only it seemed to understand. Belle had always been so naïve; it was part of her beauty. The wolf had none of that.

Somewhere he knew that something clicked in place the second he used the control spell and tore out the wolf's black heart. Somewhere his own revenge finally enabled him to connect with the being and he felt an ounce of relief. The heavy cover fell from his chest and he felt better. Free. In good spirits. He could easily chase Belle out now with a lighted mood and a beast on a leash. He let the being taunt Belle and her tears didn't touch him now. The sound of the wolf's pain was music in his ears and he took control over it. He forced it to change in front of Belle. Maybe she would finally understand.

He briefly wondered if she would even run, but then she rushed to her feet and escaped the room. All it took was a flicker of the wrist and the monstrous wolf flew after her. He only needed to scare her and the beast did a splendid job. He could see through the beast's eyes, direct it through the halls and leap towards Belle. He made it stop right in front of her and roar into her face with a force that might or might not have impaired her hearing. In this particular moment Rumpelstiltskin was prevented from caring, the being made sure of that.

Belle rushed to her feet again and stumbled up the stairs with the wolf slowly approaching her. He chased her to the entrance, but as they circled to broken chandelier the wolf diverted from the direction he had given it. It had caught the scent of something else. He didn't fully understand why this savage, mindless creature would pick one meal over another, but it threw itself at the doors instead. Something was on the outside. The wolf kept throwing itself at the door and before he could regain control over the beast, he had lost Belle of his sight. He couldn't feel her; the wolf was pulling all the attention.

Furious, he let the door open to see what had thrown his wolf off and outside was a foreign man, ready with his crossbow. A hunter by the looks. Rumpelstiltskin gave him no time for explanations, but threw the wolf at him and it tore him apart in seconds. He would have to make the mops clean up that mess.

The chances of resuming the chase of Belle was over for now, the hunter had ruined it. He hoped his death hurt. Rumpelstiltskin felt too tired to continue the control over the wolf and he led in down to his cell in the cellar. Once locked inside he ordered the beast to stay put and shift back.

It took a while. By the time the wolf returned to its human façade the fury had built up him, further amplified by his hatred for this intruding creature, and it made him want see it suffer. When it started drawing its own conclusions from the blood, he just smiled at it and watched it fall apart.

* * *

><p><em>What to do with the little wolf?<em> The being had made a suggestion that made Rumpelstiltskin think of his former wife. One of the last things she told him, before sneaking out at night with their son in her arms, was that he had gone too dark. Something in him had gone wrong and she couldn't stand to be around it anymore.

_So why not do the same to the wolf?_

Yes, why not? Why not indulge her in her own fear and let become the thing she tried so hard to suppress?

It was time to end the bluff.

As the being continued to laugh at it, the part of Rumpelstiltskin's mind, that was his own, was just slightly surprised at the impact the news had on the wolf. It started crying again, while looking absolutely shocked. His patience was slipping up fast though, and he rubbed his forehead with two fingers.

"Are you done now wolfy?"

"If this just another way to taunt me, I swear I will-"

"Do what exactly? Come out and get me? You know what to do to make that happen." That made it shut up.

Instead it changed the subject: "Who did I kill then?"

"Oh just some hunter. He was waving a picture of you. Brought some pretty antlers too, we hung them in the entrance. Just to brighten the place a bit."

The wolf sighed. It stared into space for a moment as if the turn of events took a while to sink in. It didn't even pay attention to him, which annoyed him.

"You should be grateful I let you kill him. Otherwise he would have gone back and told the whole town and then they would all come gallivanting back here to safe the damsel in distress. We can take care of her ourselves, right?" That seemed to catch its attention.

"You stay away from her!" The wolf flew to the fence and snarled at him. He could tell the beast lay close to the surface, just beneath the skin. _Shouldn't be a problem to drag it out_, he thought with a chuckle.

"You really did like her, eh?"

"What do you think?" It said in a lower voice, like it was ashamed of it. It should be. "Where is she now?"

"Somewhere", he said. He was having a hard time feeling exactly where, now that this creature in front of him wasn't following her around.

It stared at him with irritations in its eyes. The notion made him think that it had now regained the will to live, which seemed to have been momentarily lost, when it thought it had killed Belle. He just smiled at the angry face, liking how it made the wolf's insides boil with fury. It was the kind of creature that wore it's emotions on the outside. Whether it was despair, fury or joy it was right there to look at for anyone who chose to pay attention. It was now baring its teeth at him. This was an emotion he could work with, the fury. It was something both him and the being understood. That and vengeance, which this creature was evidently looking for too. It was the revenge it wanted on him that he could use to drag the monster out of it, let it overtake until it became its only face. Rumpelstiltskin knew that feeling.

He left the wolf with its hands around the bars and a low growling rolling from its stomach. It was a stubborn one, this beast, but he could break it. He could show Belle what monster she had now chosen, and once she had, he could let it chase her out of here with the crystal clear message to never come back.

_Now we're talking._

Rumpelstiltskin didn't have to answer the voice. It was his voice now too. The presence of the being left black spots in his brain, clouded his brain, but he didn't care. He had begun to feel free of things as silly as human emotion. Soon it would darken the entire landscape of his mind, but it didn't matter because when that happened, he would finally be free.

Rumpelstiltskin smiled as he packed the spinning wheel away. It was time to work.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So I thought it'd be interesting to get a bit of Rumple's perspective. My version of him might be slightly meaner than the one in the show, but even mean people have reasons for their actions. Hope you guys liked it. And very curious to know what you thought of it!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: I just remembered that I should probably throw in an extra disclaimer for the references to the Original 'Beauty and the Beast' and 'Little Red Riding Hood'. Thank you for all the support and I hope you enjoy this pretty long Belle-chapter.**

**Chapter 17**

Belle was paralyzed. She had crawled into the corner of a small chamber in the left wing tower. She wasn't sure where exactly, but she had not dared moving to check, since the sun had set in the distance. For a moment the sky had been painted with the most beautiful shades of red and gold, and she had almost forgotten that the girl, she had come to care so deeply for, was now under the control of a dark wizard and had almost tried to kill her. The same dark wizard she had once loved. Now she was staring into the blurry face of the darkness and she still felt the cold chill whenever her mind drifted back to the moment the enormous beast had leaped towards her. Her memory of her own screams was mixing with the older recollections of her crying out her mother's name in the dark cellar of her castle back home. Those memories always crept in on her when faced with darkness in solitude. She hated the dark, which was an absurd thing to do, but she did anyway. She wanted to escape those horrible reminiscences, but all that filled her mind then was the last she had seen of Red. The wolf had stopped right in front of her then, as if pulled by strings. Or Rumpelstiltskin's so called leash. She couldn't believe the cruelty that he had displayed when forcing her to do that. He hadn't physically harmed Belle, like he promised, but he had done something far worse.

God, where was Red now?

She knew that she was supposed to run. She was supposed to give up and run away like she had promised Red. And it wasn't just that she now found herself in a situation, which very well could be described as 'out of control', it was obvious that she was unwanted. Like the castle itself wanted her out the way a body tries to reject a parasite or a foreign organ. The castle did everything short of contracting its entire stone body and pushing her out through the double doors itself. Doors slammed in her face as she had run, carpet rolled away under her feet. The furniture seemed to be moving, just like Red had said, because everywhere she had looked in her search for somewhere to hide, wardrobes and sideboards were blocking the doors, as if preventing her from going deeper into the building. Instead she had been allowed to flee to the tower and here she was waiting until some of the light returned. Up here even the smallest beam from the sun could offer relief, because the windows hadn't been barred, but the closer she came to ground level the darker the corridors became. She didn't even want to consider the cellars.

The room she had found was mostly devoid of any kind of furniture. She couldn't decipher what this room had been used for, because only a single chair and a full size mirror occupied the room. The mirror had a piece of cloth hung over it, which suited Belle fine. She didn't feel like looking at herself right now. She knew her skin was bruised from falling, her hair a mess and her eyes red. No reason to look at that. She had only looked behind it to find out what it was and noted that it was horribly cracked, probably injured during the mass wreckage of the castle.

The chair was animated too. Two times she had seen it move. It strolled across the floor, walking on its legs like any living animal would, to one of the windows at first and then back to stand in front of the mirror some hours later. She had watched it like one would a rare creature striding across the savannah, silent and stunned with awe, afraid to scare the animal away. Only it had felt like she was watching a hungry lion encircling her, as she stared wide-eyed and frozen with a mixture of disbelief and terror. The whole caste had really come to life.

She had waited to see if the chair would attack, and she was admittedly still waiting for that, but the chair hadn't moved for a while now. The mirror hadn't moved at all. Right now everything was quiet and motionless. She would even wonder if she had dreamed it all up. It wouldn't be impossible that she had fallen asleep, exhausted as she felt, and her fearsome mind had spun a nightmare. Only, Red had said the same thing earlier. It wasn't just her. Maybe the dark magic inhabiting the castle was making them see things.

Her stomach was growling now. The noise sounded obscenely loud in the dead silence. She would have to find something to eat soon. She couldn't stay in here forever. As afraid as she was to move, she knew that was true.

She had to think. Running from the wolf had been one of those crucial moments, where Belle's mind had reached an overload and she had chosen to run deeper into the castle for cover instead of out of it. Rationally, now would be the time to make an escape. Or at least try to find out if an escape was possible. The kitchen was only a little detour away from the entrance hall. She could grab something to eat fast and get out. She had a feeling that nothing would stop her from this mission, it was clear to her that Rumpelstiltskin and every brick of the castle wall wanted her out. With a little luck she could be on her way back to the small village by next sundown.

The thought made her chest ache and she thought of Red. She couldn't leave her. The wolf had chased her away, but as terrifying as that had been, it was not Red's fault. Rumpelstiltskin had controlled her. And if not it still wouldn't be Red's fault. They were two different creatures, Red and the wolf. One monstrous and one beautiful. She still refused to punish Red the same way everyone else seemed to. Belle made up her mind. She had to find Red. And she had to get her out of Rumpelstiltskin's control. That could only be done one way: By taking away his magic.

One way to do that was for him to accept love. He had done that once, fully, if only for a few seconds. She doubted she could get him to do that again, after seeing his reaction the last time.

There was another way. She didn't want to admit this to him, but she had read about him. She had done this the very first moment her father had dared speaking of asking the wizard for help. Much of what she had gathered had been hollow rumors, but she remembered most of it and based what she had come to learn about Rumpelstiltskin during her stay she could tell which of them were true. For the most part anyway. Upon this second disturbing encounter with him, she had discovered something new, that she could relate to her knowledge from the books: Something possessed him. She had found one book that spoke of a myth of dark magic. Dark magic was different from regular magic, because it had a mind of its own. The book had said that in order to gain full control over the dark powers, one had to let it live in your body like a second soul. Once you connect with it you will have full control. This made sense to Belle in a way. She recalled the glimpse of madness in Rumpelstiltskin's eyes. He had never been much of a diplomat or friendly to say, but she had never before seen that look of evil on his face, which he had worn, when he forced Red to turn. She couldn't believe that this was him. He hadn't seemed like himself. It had felt like something else was inside him.

And maybe something really was. Maybe the reason for this sudden change to the worse was that he was connecting with the dark forces of magic. Fully. If so, the way for him to lose his magic would be to rid him of the second soul, the dark something that had taken root in him. Belle had read this part too. It required the spell book, from where the dark soul had come from. Taking control over that book was the first step in reversing the spell. Belle knew Rumple well enough to know that he would keep something this important to him very close. It had to be within this castle.

Now she only had to find out where.

There was another problem though. Belle knew that Rumpelstiltskin could materialize anywhere in his castle, just like he could reach her in anywhere within these walls with his voice alone. And he knew every corner of his home. It wasn't unlikely that he knew where she was this very instant. She had wondered more than once why he hadn't just appeared in front of her and forced her to leave. She could only assume he was too busy with Red. She didn't like to think about what he was doing to her.

Belle had to assume that he would keep an eye on her and so, she couldn't just go look for the book. He would be onto her in a second and her plan would be ruined, before she even found the book. It probably wasn't that easy figuring out the counter spell either. She needed time. And a distraction. She needed Red.

Belle sighed at all the impossible amount of unknown factors to her equation. If only she could find out, if Red was still a subject to Rumpelstiltskin's control. She had never seen him use that spell before, she had no idea how it worked. What she could deduce was that he must have the control as long as he held her heart. The sudden overtake had been vividly clear in Red's face. Her expression had gone blank and her eyes had drifted with haze. She would know it, if Red was still being controlled, when she saw her. If what she thought about the heart was true of course. Either way she had to get close to one of them to know if the spell was still in use. It wasn't hard to guess where Rumpelstiltskin had placed Red. It had to be the dungeons. Most of those were made of rock and that would most likely be strong enough to contain a wolf that size. A chill shot down her spine as she remembered, but she tried to push the thought away for now. She knew there were a few cells down there. There was the one he had locked her in the first few weeks and then again in the end, which was one made entirely of stone. It wasn't unthinkable that he would use the same cell for Red. Only that one had a bed and a hint of privacy. Something told her – maybe it was the hatred that had shone from his eyes – that he would chose something more degrading for Red. She knew of a couple of other rooms with metal bars built into the stone floor and ceiling, cells more open and devoid of privacy. In cells like these he could stand at a distance and watch her. That wasn't unthinkable either.

Belle shifted her position a little. She grimaced at the soreness of her muscles she had gotten from the awkward position, that she had crawled into in her attempt to conceal herself from the chair as much as possible. It was still standing immobilized in the middle of the room with no sign of having ever moved.

She stretched up to look out the window. To her immense relief she could see that the sky was getting lighter. She settled for watching the sunset. She hadn't slept much that night, afraid the chair would somehow attack her in her sleep. Now she thought herself silly for thinking that. Even if it wasn't just a bad dream, the chair had acted harmless. Like a peaceful deer instead of the lion she had associated it with at first.

The sun rose over the trees below her, spreading light on the treetops and bathing them in the golden early sunlight. For a moment it almost looked like they were on fire. There was something comforting about sunrise. It wasn't just that it chased the darkness, and thereby her fears, away, but also the feeling that the rising sun brought life back to the world. She felt even better as the warmth from it hit her face. For a short moment relief filled her and she stepped aside to allow the beam of light and warmth to enter the room.

As soon as the sunlight hit the floor she could see how dusty it was. She had no recollection of having ever cleaned this room. Studying the floor she noticed little tracks in the dust. Small dots going from the window… to the chair. The dots were exact diameter of the chair's round, wooden legs. So it really had moved. It wasn't something she had dreamed up.

Belle rose to her feet and tried to shake off the unsettling notion that the chair in front of her was somehow alive in its own way. It made no move to prove this theory.

Her stomach growled again and cramped a little, letting her know how empty it was. She winced at the discomfort and sighed, as she stared at the door. Beyond that door, somewhere, was a deranged Rumpelstiltskin and Red submitted to his control. Not to mention hostile furniture. And more shadows. But she had to go anyway. She had to eat. And she had to get to Red.

Slowly she headed for the door. She moved with calculated caution, unsure if something would suddenly move. She carefully opened the door and was relieved to find the corridor empty. The sunrise had provided a little light and she set out for the kitchen somewhere below her.

She had barely taken three steps outside the room before the sound, which could only be described as a galloping wooden horse, broke the silence, followed by the deafening sound of the door slamming behind her. Belle spun around with a gasp to find the door smacked shut behind her. From the inside went now a loud creaking and scratching noise. Belle could only picture the scene of the animated chair now barricading the door to prevent her from reentering. She was right, the castle wanted her out.

Belle turned around again, forcing herself not to decompose at the knowledge of the castle coordinating its insides to push her out room by room. Red had once told her she thought Belle the bravest person she had ever met. She needed to prove now that she was that person, more to herself than anyone else.

As she descended towards the lower levels the wreckage began to stand out again. Little splits of the brick wall became gaping cracks and worn out carpets became shredded piles on the floor. Soon the windows would be bared again and the darkness would elude from the corners, making it feel like night. It started getting thick a few meters in front of her, where the corridor narrowed. Belle stopped and tried to catch the breaths that seemed to be escaping her too quickly.

_I can't. I just can't._

She stared at the cloud of black and she knew it was her just a frightened mind playing tricks, but it seemed to become thicker as she looked at it.

_I can't do it._

She thought of Red.

_But I have to._

It took a few more moments before her legs started to move again. She kept pushing the panic down, drowning it in its early stages of development by picturing Red. She was doing this for Red.

She tried to think of the sun warming her face, keeping the feeling alive as her steps brought her further into the smaller corridor and the light became sparser. Belle thought to herself that perhaps Rumpelstiltskin's dark second soul didn't like the heights. Or maybe he hadn't felt the need to be that thorough on his rampage, but had settled for disintegrating the lower levels only. If the castle was truly a body of its own in some sense, then the gut were the basement level, to where the heart of it had sunken down and the darkness was the network of crumbled vessels leading to it. The further down she got, the thicker the veins and arteries became, taking in the nutrition from its animated beings and pulsating out ounces of dark magic to keep body working. The lungs had to be the towers, because down here there was no more fresh air, it had all been used up along with the light.

Belle once again started having the feeling of being watched. The eyeless stares from everywhere and too lively graveyard atmosphere. This time she felt more certain that it really was the furniture watching her.

Entering the larger hallways it became a little easier to breathe. The sallow smell of the dusty air seemed to accumulate in the smaller corridors, but down here the smell was vaguer. She descended the staircase that led her back to the floor, where they had found his study. She forced herself to keep moving and stubbornly ignored the slight tremble of her body, telling her it wanted her to leave here too. Another two levels down and she would reach the kitchen. This was the ground floor along with the dining hall. She also knew that the kitchen had its own backdoor out of the castle and she felt guilty as her thoughts drifted in that direction. She had made up her mind, she _would_ find Red, but a small part of her felt more than a little anxious about deliberately going into the lion's den. Or the wolf's den in this case.

She pushed the thought aside and walked on. Red would probably be back in her human form. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but she thought that would be the case. If Red had any say she would change back first chance given and if Rumpelstiltskin was still in control, well, a human girl was easier restrained that a bear sized wolf. She just hoped she would find Red alone. If she could just get a moment to talk to her, get a feeling of the situation, she asked wouldn't ask for more. _God help me, that's all I'm asking. _She could figure out the rest later.

Her eyes caught the sight of green fabric. The same bench, that Red had accused of moving, was standing against the wall in the hallway, she was just now passing though. She stopped for a moment to look at it. She would have to admit that the assumed animation of the furniture was true. Yet this bench somehow seemed less anxiety-provoking. The feeling she had of being watched wasn't accompanied by the same wickedness, she had felt when watching the chair go back and forth in the chamber of the tower. This one she could pass without having to look back over her shoulder, nervous that at any moment she would hear that galloping sound of the charging piece of wood.

She looked down the next flight of stairs. She couldn't see the end, the dark was too thick. She put a hand to her chest, as if nervous her heart would jump out of her chest and flee on its own, if she didn't stop it. She wished she knew how to make a torch like Red. She was far from the library right now, as she had taken another road down, and even if she got any paper – in this darkness she felt sure she could even make herself tear out pages of a book – she had no idea how to start the fire. She had seen Red do it with the bricks and of course she had read about it, but actually doing it had never worked for her. That took a skillset she couldn't acquire from books. And taking a detour to the dark halls they had walked before wasn't too appealing either. She swallowed once, trying to push down the irrational anxiety, and placed one foot in front of the other, while thinking as little as possible. The dark staircase swallowed her. The only audible proof of the world around her was the sound of her own footsteps. Terrifying wasn't the noises Red had told her she heard. Terrifying was the silence, the absence of Red's warning, telling her something was coming. Now she could only guess.

Very little light came to her aid once she reached the lower level. The sun couldn't touch these hallways. She could see from one wall to the other, but not all the way down to the end in either direction. She felt vulnerable, exposed. Rumpelstiltskin could be standing down there and God knows how he would react now, if the second soul truly had taken over? She wanted to believe that the part of him that was still him, would recognize her and steer clear of her. The Rumple she knew had done all he could to not let his temper harm her. She could hope he was still would, but bottom line was she just didn't know.

It was an internal struggle with each step and she fought against the desire to just run all the way up to the sun again. She couldn't stay up there forever.

There was a loud noise behind her, the sound of someone dropping a large item. She turned around, but saw nothing. Whatever had fallen was hidden from her naked eye. For a moment she stood motionless, waiting to see if something would come emerge from the darkness or in any way reveal the source of the loud noise. Nothing happened.

She forced herself to keep walking. Where was that kitchen? Right or left?

As she reached the next cross section she cast a glance in each direction. To the lef was only a corridor so pitch black that the world might just as well end there. To the right a larger hallway revealed itself and down at the end was a glimmering of vague light. Belle chose the right and hurried towards the light as fast as she could without making too much noise.

As the light came closer she could spot the shape of a door. It was getting colder here too as she was walking towards the outer perimeter of the castle. A few degrees lower and her breath would start to become visible. She hugged the hood tighter around her body and sneaked closer to the door. She could hear the noises from knives clicking together and plates being sat down and she wondered briefly if he was in there right now. She didn't think so, because then he would have known that she was standing right here.

She looked back the way she had come, remembering. If she continued straight down, past the cross section again and down the opposing hallway she would arrive at the dining hall. From there she could get back up and find the staircase that led to the dungeons. She thanked her lucky star for her exceptional memory. The castle may present as threatening, but as least she knew her way around.

Belle peaked inside. At first she couldn't see much. It was very bright compared to where she came from and her eyes needed a moment to adjust. She could hear everything quite clear though. It sounded like the whole kitchen was in use. As her eyes got used to the shift in light and she could see again, she inched a little further inside. She peaked around the corner of a cupboard and the sight that met her was almost impossible for her mind to grasp.

The knives she had heard were floating around in the air along with a variety of stirring devices, which tended the pots and pans on the stove. Another plate soared from the far end cupboard and landed on the table in the middle with a light clink. No hands were controlling these devices. Not manually anyway. As Belle stood there in the corner of the kitchen, watching service and all kinds of tableware work on its own, she could no longer deny that everything in this castle was really alive. All that was missing now was the floor starting lifting itself and crawl away like broad wooden snakes. _But maybe_, Belle thought to herself, _maybe the floors and the walls are just a part of the body. Maybe only movable items are alive_. The thought was still insane, but somehow it made sense.

Standing in the kitchen was like stepping into a different world. Most of it was so white and clean, a glaring contrast to the dark and dusty remainder of the castle. Belle could smell the food now too, as the pan floated to the table closer to her. A plate levitated to catch the piece of steak, the pan was delivering. The aroma filled her nose and the sight of it made her stomach growl. She hugged her stomach to kill the sound and ducked behind the cupboard again. When she dared peaking a breadknife had stopped midair and the serrated blade slowly turned in the air, as if it was the guard watching for intruders. Belle didn't dare move until it soared away, back to the bread basket.

On the table close to her lay now two steaks on each their plate and a few pieces of bread, which the knife must have just cut up. Belle, still with one arm around her empty, complaining stomach, inched closer to the table. She was afraid to stand up and tried to keep out of sight from the potential murder weapons flying around in the air. How they could even see her, she couldn't grasp, but she knew they could. When most the service seemed to be occupied she reached up quickly and grabbed the pieces of bread. She wanted to leave now, but bread alone wouldn't be enough. She cast another quick look around and took one of the steaks too. With the food grasped in her hand she crawled back out. Outside in the dark again she released a breath, she hadn't realized she was holding, and looked at capture. Stolen foods. She didn't like what it made her, but it also didn't prevent her mouth form watering at the thought of finally getting something to eat. As soon as she was covered and hidden in the dark again she stuffed the first piece of bread into her mouth. It made her think of her mother. She always cared greatly about manners. Although Belle had been a quick learner there were times, when she would get reprimanded for stuffing her face, because she was too hungry to wait. Her mother would look at her with a disapproving stare and say: "Belle, eat like a princess. Never fill your mouth more than half or you won't be able to close it." She definitely wasn't eating like a princess now, standing there leaned against the wall, her mouth full of bread and the rest of her meal grasped in her bare hands.

She took a look around, meaning to check for any threats from the kitchen guard before walking way and her eyes caught green fabric again. The bench was now leaning against the opposite wall. The green fabric on its seat had a tone just light enough to stand out in the darkness. It even shimmered a little in the light from the kitchen. Belle gave it a skeptic look and ate the other piece of bread, while looking at it. She still didn't feel that same hostility eluding from this particular piece of equipment, but even so it seemed to be following her. That made her cautious.

The bench seemed to have immobilized again and Belle started walking slowly down the hall back towards where she had come from. For a moment all that filled her mind was the intoxicating smell of freshly cooked meat. It was still warm in her hands. She grabbed it like a sandwich and took a bite. It obviously hadn't been seasoned, but still it tasted like heaven to Belle. At her third bite a sharp pain shot though her jaw as she bit down on something hard. She took it out and found it to be a tiny ball made of some kind of metal. _Why would there be metal in the meat?_ Belle thought perhaps this is what one get for letting the kitchen utensils work with no human supervision. The odd discovery didn't keep her from eating the rest though. She had devoured the steak in no time, eating carefully around the metal bits and though she could have easily eaten more, her stomach seemed to finally be satisfied.

Now came the time for finding Red. She would have been tired, but for now her anxious mind could only focus on how to get Red out. She had no key. She had no defense if the dark magic of the castle decided to get more violent. She felt small and vulnerable in this gloomy hallway. It would only get worse in the dungeons.

She shook her head at herself, trying to brush off her fear as mere silliness. It was no use thinking that kind of thoughts. She would just have to get down there and take it from there. Perhaps if she got a second chance to talk to Rumpelstiltskin, she could make him see things her way. She had come here out of desire for consolation not out of spite, after all.

Once she started walking the hall wasn't as dark as her scared mind made it out to be. Belle passed the doors that would lead to the dining hall. She remembered the severe damage Rumpelstiltskin had inflicted on it. It wasn't as bad out here. When she came to think about it, neither was the damage of the kitchen. There might have been a few cracks in the tiles, but nothing extensive enough to take her focus away from the animated utensils.

Out here she only noticed that the carpet was gone. Possible cracks in the wall were hard to see in the faint light. God, she wished she had more light.

Finally she got back to the larger hallway, from where she could find the stairs that descended to the dungeons. The cells had their very own entrance. While most of the other basement corridors and chambers were connected by a network of small passages, like the dusty capillaries of the castle's gut, the dungeons had only one way in – and naturally only one way out. Its design to keep prisoners from cheating their way out, now gave Belle limited options to enter. She was sure Rumpelstiltskin knew that.

As Belle neared the place, where she knew the stairs would be, she braced herself for entering the pitch black, she was certain she would be met with. She was a little proud of herself for breaking through the usual partial paralysis the aversion to darkness often inflicted on her. When she turned the corner she was met by the welcoming sight of a light bulb, switched-on. She almost smiled.

At the end of the staircase was a single naked light bulb, hanging from the ceiling. Instead of darkness eating the last of the steps, vague light floated out and lay as a golden carpet on the stone steps.

She walked down, almost eagerly and passed under the light bulb to reach for the door that was placed around the little corner, hidden from her line of sight. Only to find that a giant wardrobe was blocking it.

How the wardrobe had even got down here, animated or not, was a mystery to Belle. It only just fitted the hole in the stone wall, where the door was placed and she couldn't even open both doors if she tried. She didn't though, remembering how this thing was somehow probably alive. She thought she could feel it stare at her, although she couldn't fathom how. For a while she stood in front of it, puzzled over her next move. She would have to touch it to find out if it could be moved. There was no way she could possibly get it out of here, but maybe she could tip in and crawl over. The door opened inwards, she remembered, so that was at least something.

Belle drew a deep sigh and reached for the handle. In that moment the door flew half open, knocking her hand away. Belle gasped and jolted back from the wardrobe as it slowly withdrew its door. She felt the stare again. Rubbing her sore hand, she settled for walking back up, suddenly afraid the thing would tip voluntarily and crush her against the stone back wall.

Back at ground level she once again found herself staring at the bench with the green cushion. It was standing against the wall just beside the stairs.

"Are you following me?" She said tiredly.

It didn't answer. Of course it didn't.

"Well, can I sit on you?" In that moment she felt so exhausted, she even forgot to keep her voice down. The bench didn't move and Belle took a chance. It let her.

Suddenly completely overcome with her defeat and she leaned back and closed her eyes. It didn't make much difference anyway. She knew she couldn't keep them closed for long. She couldn't stay closed off like this, so blatantly oblivious to any approaching threats, but for a moment she felt comforted by the encounter with the first friendly piece of furniture in Rumpelstiltskin's haunted castle.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Red's mind was still such a wicked mess of thoughts and fears and hope that she couldn't possibly concentrate on one thing at a time. She hadn't killed Belle after all. Belle was still alive. Red herself was caught in the dungeons with a deranged wizard, who possessed dark magic and he wanted her to complete the impossible task of merging with the wolf. And her body felt weak with hunger. She hadn't been able to eat the whole time while thinking of Belle being dead – the thought still cut painfully through her, even though it was no longer true. Now she was starving. And she was caged. Two things that made the monster inside her very angry.

The wolf's state of mind used to be the most important thing to her, the thing that drove her to whatever action necessary to please the beast and lull it back to a peaceful slumber. Now it was Belle. She dared thinking of Belle again and tried to convince her mind that Rumpelstiltskin wasn't playing a trick on her this time. He hadn't ever said that Belle was dead, only let her draw her own conclusions. She hadn't been able to understand why he would let her do that anyway. She thought they loved each other in some twisted, complicated way. There had been something in his eyes when he first saw her, that Red thought was some kind of affection. And the part of her that saw that had been right; he hadn't let her kill Belle.

This meant that she was still out there somewhere. Red hoped to God that she had run like Red had told her to, but she couldn't be sure. The girl was stubborn to a degree of recklessness. She might still be here. It didn't make Red feel any better. Even so she had to assume that was the case. Belle hadn't achieved what she came here to get: Consolation with Rumpelstiltskin and – maybe this was just Red's wishful mind still insisting on this but – helping Red. Red was now off much worse than when she got here. She had been reckless too to think the wizard would even consider helping her. She had no idea where her hood was and it frustrated her, even though the piece of cloth was of no use anymore. It was still her possession. It was a part of her identity even. She didn't like the name of an outlaw, but it was what she was and without that she was no one. The absence of the hood stripped her of her identity.

Her stomach rumbled. She wondered if he was ever going to bring her something. Surely he didn't want his experiment to starve to death before getting any results. Her throat felt dry too and she looked at the tray of water. She didn't want to drink from it, because of the symbolism Rumpelstiltskin had tied to it. It was a tray meant for a dog. He intended to chase away the humanity by treating her as an animal. Reducing her to a lesser being. She refused to let him. When she had to drink she would use her hands to collect water and drink from them. Only this way didn't get her much fluid and she felt dizzy most of the time.

She thought of her mother a lot today. Rumpelstiltskin's experiment was inevitably tied to the memory of her. She mostly saw the bestial smile before her, but she also remembered the good parts of her. Her childish joy and playful nature. When Red wanted to play around the forest and fight with sticks, more often than not it was her mother grabbing another stick to fight her until she squealed with laughter. It was her who taught Red to climb trees and make fires and separate the edible berries from the poisonous. Her father was an indoor kind of man. She had many times wondered why her mother would chose such a quiet, civilized man, such a glaring contrast to her own nature. Now she thought of Belle and she understood. They were very alike, her and her mother. They both needed a calm mind to counter their own chaotic one. They both felt more comfortable outside in the wild than inside. They both had the curse. And now it seemed they were both walking the path to insanity.

Red tried to think it through. She tried to remember how her mother had done it. If there was something she could do different. Red repeatedly realized how little she had known of her mother's change. She had seen countless glimpses of her mother's erratic behavior, but that was all it was: Glimpses. Her father and grandmother hadn't allowed her closer than that. Right now she wished they had, forgetting that their caution was most likely the reason she was still alive and not bled out with an open torso somewhere in the woods like her father. Left to decay.

The mean voice inside her was still set on doing nothing. Rumpelstiltskin couldn't force her to do it. He could take away her food and he could lock her up here forever. He could take out her heart, but he couldn't force her to let the wolf enter her mind. When she thought about it, the mean voice wasn't just mean. Rather it was the brutally honest, rational part of her mind, one she sadly rarely used. If she listened more often, she wouldn't have been in here. She might not even have let her hood be torn, but had killed the hunter before he even got the chance. Or in more diplomatic manner, she would have escaped him, but the irrational part of her mind had just been so tired of running. If her rational voice had had any say she would never have been hit. She would pass though that small village and leave again a few days after. Moved on. She would have probably never met Belle.

Belle. She was the reason she had to get out of here. The rational voice might have kept her out of danger, kept her alive, but it also kept her from truly living. Being with Belle had felt like living for once. The girl had added a sense of meaning to her life. She had to find her again. She had to at least try. If she could let in a fraction of the wolf's mind enter hers, she could convince the dark wizard that she was participating in his experiment and maybe she could gather enough strength to break out. She had to find a balance. A balance where she could gain some powers from the wolf, just enough to break out, but still hold on to her humanity. It had to be possible. It was her only way.

She heard footsteps and the door creaked open seconds after. It seemed he had lost his taste for dramatic entrances. The first few times he just appeared in front of her, but now he was doing something as civilized as taking the stairs. Rumpelstiltskin entered, carrying another tray. Red could smell the meat, which immediately made her stomach roar and her mouth water. There was only one problem. It was raw meat.

"Here you go wolfy", he said and placed the tray under the bars, where an open space was left to enable the tray entrance to her cell. Red ignored the protests from her body and crossed her arms.

"I'm not eating raw meat."

Rumpelstiltskin put on a disappointed face. "It's the best piece. Only the best for the wolf."

"Well, I'm not a wolf right now and you can't make me turn to eat that."

"Yet", he said with a smile. His eyes had a glow of anticipation, but they also shone with a hint of a promise. Something about it made a shiver run down Red's spine. She tried to ignore it, refused to let him see what effect his presence had on her.

"I won't eat that. Get me something cooked or say goodbye to your experiment. I'd rather starve." Red looked directly into his black eyes as she said it and refused to be the first to divert her eyes. His gaze didn't feel human. There was a sense of plurality to his stare, like another set of eyes was watching her from behind his gaze. Finally he smiled that too cheerful smile and looked away.

"Fine. But you'll have to wait a few hours." He left without another word. Despite her apparent victory, Red didn't feel triumphant. Rumpelstiltskin was the kind of man who always had something up his sleeve, that hadn't taken her long to realize, and she wondered warily what kind of loophole he would find in her words.

* * *

><p>It had to be more than a few hours. Red was starting to feel a growing fatigue, when the sound of footsteps behind the door woke her from her drowsy haze. It worried her that her body felt so weak, normally it took a lot more to get her body to this point. Being the creature she was, designed for life in the merciless wild, she had a lot of energy reserves to count on. Those seemed to have been emptied, like this room was sucking in out of her, evaporating it through her skin. Forcing her to take whatever he had planned for her dinner.<p>

This time he said nothing, but pushed the tray into the cell. Red, now so hungry and intoxicated by the smell of cooked meat, she could barely think straight. She threw herself at the tray on the ground, took the steak in her hands and ripped it apart with greedy bites.

As she bit down a sharp pain coursed through her jaw, followed by an intense sporadic burning throughout her entire mouth. Out of reflex she spit the whole thing out on the floor. Between pieces of half devoured meat she saw the cold glimpses of silver. The tiny ball, she had chewed in half, lay on the ground, mocking her. She felt stupid. If she hadn't been so hungry she might have taken a second to think before jumping right into Rumpelstiltskin's trap with both legs. She looked up at him, which caused him to burst into hysterical laughter. The indignation grew in Red, but she forced herself to keep calm. The man finally stopped laughing and looked at her. With his weird, nasal voice back to normal he said:

"You should see your face."

Red looked down and didn't answer. She felt humiliated, which in turn infuriated the wolf. This wasn't good for her self-control. If she was to control the wolf in the merge, it couldn't be done through his provocations. That said, she didn't feel less humiliated as she started picking the remaining piece of steak apart, making sure to remove the silver before she ate the bits. She couldn't not eat it. The picking didn't leave her much good meat and her stomach wasn't the slightest bit comforted when she was done.

"Better?"

Red settled for growling at him. He took a step back with a dramatic gesture and put on another look of disappointment.

"Don't tell me you don't like my cooking. I had the pots and pans working really hard."

"You really think silver in my dinner is enough to make me obey you?" She swallowed the last bit and kicked the tray back to him. This time he made it disappear with that distinctive flick of his wrist. Then he stepped closer to the fence and put his head through the bars again.

"Oh this?" He said with feigned innocence. "This is just the beginning."

Red stood up and in her full height she could almost look down on him. She walked slowly to the bars so close Rumpelstiltskin had to move, which he did with a disgusted grimace.

"I'm not afraid of you", Red said in a cold voice.

Rumpelstiltskin giggled and stared back at her with a supercilious smile. "Oh I know. Remember, I _know_ what you're afraid of. And we're good at materializing people's fears, hence our little experiment. But do tell me wolfy, how does it feel to be afraid of yourself?"

"You tell me", Red spat. She didn't want him to see that for a moment she had forgotten. She didn't want him to see that slight tremble of her hands, because the true nature of his plans had just occurred to her. The tiniest flicker of her eyes was enough for him though and he laughed his maniac laugh right in her face. It was only a brief outburst this time, but enough to make Red feel cold with dread for his next move, now that the cards were on the table.

"You're feisty", he said, pointing at her with his long, grey index finger. "I like that in a pet."

Red snarled at his mock. She wouldn't let him win this one. She took a breath and collected herself, while he laughed it off. When he looked at her again, she asked him with as much cool confidence as she could manage:

"You avoided my question. Are you gonna deny that you have the same fear?"

"Oh we've already embraced the monster. We're one now, nothing to be afraid of."

"Not even losing Belle?"

He flinched. It was for a fraction of a second and barely noticeable, but Red caught it and she smiled. She had hit a soft spot.

He shook his head, but Red seemed to sense an internal struggle going on. He was battling something inside him; his black irises flickered rapidly around over the white, whenever that happened. A moment went by before he composed himself and looked up at her. "No. We're not."

"Then why is she still here, _Rumple_?"

"_Don't call me that_!" He raged and flew back to the fence. Red was pushed back harshly, seemingly by a flare-up of dark magic and the sheer force made her collide with the back wall. Rumpelstiltskin had murder in his eyes, when he looked at her. Then he scoffed, turned around and left the room.

* * *

><p>In the silence of Rumpelstiltskin's absence, Red's thoughts were split between worrying about Belle and deciphering her mother's insanity. Her mother had been out in the wildlife of the woods most of the time and perhaps this had contributed to her change. Red didn't have that option. Her wolf felt trapped and irritated instead of unrestrained in the air of the forest. Her mother had had loved ones around her, whereas Red had nothing but a dark wizard, who hated her. There was no way of knowing what kind of impact these changes of variables would have. The only thing Red knew that they had in common was a goal: Saving the loved ones. Her mother wanted to save her family from the disgrace of her murderous actions and in turn help Red herself, when the time came. Red's goal was to get Belle out of here. Her goal felt more selfish, since it was just a much to save herself. To regain some meaning in her life. During those years of running, Red had always looked back on her childhood, before the wolf broke out, with tainted joy. She missed those times. She longed for the blissful unawareness. The childish unawareness was a lost cause now, she knew that, but if she could at least regain some of that freedom. Get rid of the fear.<p>

The fear of herself.

She wished she had never had to tell Rumpelstiltskin about that fear. She wished he had asked for a different price, because if she was being honest with herself, she would have paid whatever price he had asked. She didn't think much of his odd request then, but now it felt like he had planned the whole thing. There were rumors that the powers he possessed allowed him to see glimpses of the future. That's what the man, who had led her to Rumpelstiltskin, had said:

"He's the most powerful wizard in all the realms. He can make gold out of straw, diamond out of stone. He can bring inanimate objects to life. Like this table right here! And he can see the future."

"The future?" A younger, more skeptical Red had said.

"Yes little girl, the future. But only hints of it, no one can see the whole thing. The future isn't like the meals on a menu card, the choices aren't just laid out for you to pick. But you have a good idea of some of the dishes. I'm telling you, he can see a few of those done meals." Red had been a little confused about the sudden talk of food, but she understood the point. The older man had laughed and said: "Now off you go, if you want to catch him. But those feet need to carry you pretty damn fast, if you want to make it." Of course the poor old fellow had no idea he was conversing with a young werewolf and she had gotten there in no time.

Now she wondered if he really could see hints of the future. A few done dishes. If so, how much? Enough to know that his plan would succeed? Or perhaps that depended on the extent of Red's consent to participate in his mad project.

Suddenly Rumpelstiltskin was standing in front of the bars, ripping Red out of her thoughts with a start.

"How's the wolf coming?" He asked.

"How's my food coming?"

"_When claws are out and teeth are snappy, Rumpelstiltskin shall be happy_", he sang and balanced the plate food tray on a finger.

"It rhymes", Red mumbled, loud enough for him to hear, and leaned back on the bench with crossed arms. He sent her an annoyed glance.

"We want to know if wolfy is making progress, or wolfy doesn't eat."

"What's the point with this anyway? You know my fear, do I really need to prove it? Or are you just curious to see what happens?"

"Yes."

Red rolled her eyes. "You're crazy."

That made him smile and he stepped closer. The tray was still spinning on his finger as if completely untouched by the laws of physics. "And you'll be joining me soon dearie."

Red once again found herself speculating, if he really could tell the future.

"No, I won't", she spat.

"Yes you will. You have to get out and save Belle, remember? Wouldn't want to make her wait too long, she could get hurt."

"I thought you wouldn't hurt her."

"I did promise that. But again, I can't speak for the furniture."

"I'll break your stupid, ugly furniture in half-" Red didn't get any further, because she was suddenly thrown into the air. She landed on her hands and spun around fast enough to see the bench, she had been sitting on, tilting back into its original position. She got up and eyed the piece of wood suspiciously, causing another round of hysterical giggles from the wizard.

"See?" He said behind her and she turned around to face him.

"When I get out of here I will break both you and everything else in my way in half. Trust me." Red bared her teeth at him to emphasize her promise, but he only smiled at her.

"Good girl", he said and bent down to push the tray into her cell. She gave him another look, unwilling to fall for his tricks again, but her starving body betrayed her. Her mouth was watering at the aroma of meat, that she only now smelled, as if the bars had been enough to withhold something like that.

She sat down on the stone floor, feeling less inclined to sit on the bench now. It would most likely just throw her off again. She took the steak from the tray and held it in her hand like a sandwich, still hesitant to eat it. Suddenly every cell in her body was screaming at her to refill them with energy. How was she so hungry? He had to be somehow enhancing her hunger, she had never felt like this before. She shot another glance at him, but his face revealed nothing. Then finally she took a small bite.

Her mouth was on fire immediately, burning with the white-hot flames that only silver could ignite. It was everywhere. She spit it out, howling in pain at the same time. It was still in there. It couldn't be the same droplets of metal as yesterday, this stuck to her palate, her cheeks and tongue. It even crept down the impossibly small space between her teeth. She kept spitting and looked around her, desperate for something to put the fire out. Her eyes fell on the tray of water and she rushed to it, stuck her head down to it – to hell with pride this time – and took in large gulps of water, gargled and spit. Repeated. By the time the tray had emptied, the fire had reduced to a dull burning sensation in her mouth.

She looked for the traitorous piece of meat to find out what he had done with it. It lay discarded beside the tray and as she looked at it, silver was oozing out of a thin line in the middle of the steak. He had cooked it with liquid silver. She didn't even know how he had managed to do that. The rage built in her as she met his gaze. He didn't laugh this time. This hadn't been a joke; this was punishment.

"Now", he said, once he saw that he had her attention. "I'll give you a choice: _My_ cooking or _no_ cooking."

Red held his gaze and for the first time she felt the hatred, building in her, matched the amount of hate that shone back at her from his glare. She knew she was losing the first battle. They both knew it. The raw meat was nothing but simple proof that he had the upper hand. She wasn't blind to the significance though. Only animals eat raw meat. It's uncivilized. _It still can't force you to turn_, the rational voice said and perhaps it was right. But what was his next move going to be?

Rumpelstiltskin made another tray appear, this time with a raw steak on top. He crouched down in front of her and something about it was more demeaning than having him stare her down from above. He held the tray out towards the fence.

"What's it gonna be wolfy?"

She snarled at him. She didn't want him to feel her indignation, but the sound had come from deep within, all the way down, from where the wolf was starting to twitch and she couldn't reign herself in. She surrendered.

"Give me that."


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Belle jolted awake at the sound of high-pitched laughter filling the hallway. It was so loud and so clear, that for a moment she thought he was standing right above her, laughing into her face. She flew up from the bench, where she had curled up, and looked around. Rumpelstiltskin was nowhere to be seen.

She sat down again and held a hand to her rapidly pounding heart, trying to calm herself. It wasn't easy in all this dark. There was no way of telling if it was night or day down here, the light was still too scarce. No way to know how long she had been asleep. It couldn't be that long, she still felt exhausted. Belle got up and peaked around the corner. The wardrobe was still there.

Had his laughter been in her head? It had sounded so real and of course when he spoke to her, like he had upon their entry, it _was_ real, but it sounded different. This had been an actual outburst of his characteristic giggles, laughed out into this room in a way that made it echo off the walls. She thought he was down in the dungeons with Red. She wouldn't be able to hear him though those thick stone walls. They were nothing if not soundproof, this Belle had learned in a cruel way. He had kept a thief down there once, while Belle had been here. The thief had been found in his study looking for the spell book. Belle didn't know that then, only that it was some book of spells, he had been asked to take. It had to be _the book_. Many people wanted Rumpelstiltskin's powers, even those who didn't understand the depths of it. _Especially those_, Belle thought. She remembered how cruel Rumpelstiltskin had been to the thief. Belle had been asked to clean him up one day and feed him. Instead she had let him go and this was how she knew there was only one way out of the dungeons. The thief got stuck down there, as he refused to follow her up. When Rumpelstiltskin had found this out, he sat by the door for two days, waiting for the thief to give up and come back out. When he finally did, crawling back out into the light, dehydrated and weak from lack of proper nutrition, Rumpelstiltskin rose to kill him. He had done so if Belle hadn't stopped him. She could only convince him to let the thief wander out into the woods the way he had come out of the dungeons, but it was still better than seeing him die. Belle still sometimes wondered, if he ever made it out of the forest alive.

Belle shook her head. She was side tracking. She had to figure out a way to get down there and if it couldn't be done by the modest force of her own hands, she would have to find another way. Perhaps looking for the book was the best option. If she could get Rumpelstiltskin to come to her, she could have another shot at talking him down. The second soul's grip on him might not have been as strong then, but she had talked him out of acts of madness before. Like the killing of the thief. She was convinced she could do it again. It also occurred to her that he might be calmer if Red wasn't nearby. She did seem to have had a peculiar agitating effect on him. Then again, could she blame him? He had seen them just outside the castle and worked himself up, before she had a chance to explain to him. Was it only yesterday? It felt like a week ago and then again only seconds. She lost track of time in here.

Her stomach contracted with a rumble, letting her know something else she had lost track of: Her meals. She should try to get more food from the kitchen, before she started searching.

She eyed the bench, she had slept on. It stood immobilized again like any other bench. For a moment Belle thought it too silly to say out loud, but before leaving she bowed down to it.

"Thank you for letting me sleep on you."

She stood up and headed for the kitchen.

Belle retraced her steps from earlier and found the corridor that led back to the kitchen. She walked with cautious steps down the murky stairs, and kept in mind that the light from the kitchen would appear in the dark soon. This particular light caused ambivalent emotions, because she knew that in there she would find all kind of utensils floating around and the thought didn't make her less uneasy this time. It was light all the same though and that was always better than the dark.

A loud thump behind her made her spin around. Yet again the darkness gave nothing away. She could only see a few feet down. Then slow knocks came out of the dark. A two-part simultaneous knock and then a second one. The sound came towards her with the sure steps of malignant furniture closing in on her.

Belle ran.

She wasted no time trying to decipher the noise, she just ran down the hall and kept running until the door with light reappeared. She forced herself to slow her running then, so she wouldn't tip off the guard knives, which might still be hovering in the kitchen air. A few feet away she slowed to a soft walk and finally stopped right beside the door. Only then did she force herself to look back the way she came and listen.

She heard nothing.

Or rather, she heard the clinks and rattles of the apparently ever-busy kitchen, but nothing from down the hall. She was beyond the point of trying to convince herself that her mind had made it up, but maybe her pursuer had given up. Surely it could catch her if it wanted to.

Her stomach complained again and she put a hand over it, as if it was a mouth she could muffle. She got down to her knees and repeated her method from the last time. Carefully, she snuck inside, all the time listening for signs that they might be onto her. _They. Like they're actual people_. Belle sighed internally and focused on the mission, which was to get something to eat without being seen by the faceless, but very sharp guardians of the kitchen. She could spot one from here, hovering over the kitchen in the middle, once her sight adjusted. She was still in cover behind one of the cupboards, as she waited for the right moment to sneak in further.

She could smell meat again, the mere aroma made her stomach contract, but she couldn't see any. She bowed down a little and peaked around the corner to look at the table, she had stolen from the last time. There lay a couple of steaks, but they were raw. They were placed in a large food tray made of steel, one you would use for a dog. If it hadn't been for the neat arrangement in that tray, she would have just thought the steaks weren't cooked yet. Now it made her think they were meant to be served like that. The dog reference was easy to catch. Belle felt an uncharacteristic fury build in her. He was treating her like a _dog_. Of course Belle wouldn't expect him to be nice to her or maybe not even decent like he was for the most part with Belle, but to degrade her like this? What was he trying to do to her?

Belle tried to push it from her mind. It was a distressing thought to finish and the sudden anger made it hard for her to focus. As she stared at the steel tray, it suddenly disappeared, like it had shrunk into nothingness in a matter of seconds. It startled Belle and she briefly feared that Rumpelstiltskin was right in there with her. She found nothing behind her though, and she couldn't see him in to kitchen either. She couldn't see all of it from this crouched position, but if he was here he would reveal himself. Instead she looked back at the table to find that a bowl of some sort of cooked potatoes had been standing behind the tray. They still had the skins on and Belle could just imagine the sweet moment her teeth broke that crispy skin. Rumple did enjoy his potatoes, especially if he had a good day. For the first time she didn't think that him having a good day came to her benefit. Or Red's. She could eat potatoes though.

Finally she had summoned enough courage to move. The sound of pots rattling back and forth on the stove and the clinks of knives and stacks of plates swaging filled her ears, and it seemed to become louder as she crawled forward. As she came closer one cooked steak appeared too – probably the one for Rumpelstiltskin himself. It served him right to miss this meal for treating Red like that. He might be degrading her to live as an animal, but Belle thought he was the only one uncivilized here. And she really could eat another steak.

Belle snuck in closer. She moved in little steps, constantly watching out for the guards, slowly getting closer to her target. She would have to get quite far into the kitchen this time, so far she was almost no longer covered by the large table in the middle. And she had no idea how to hide from something that didn't even have a face. Which way was it looking? She had to try though. It was that or getting no food at all. She took another step. _Almost there_. _Keep it together_.

Finally. She leaped for the porcelain bowl, praying that she in that moment had shown at least some of the speed and elegance, Red always displayed when reaching for things. She held the bowl tight in her arms and backed away a little, trying like hell to keep her breathing to a minimum.

The bowl was vibrating in her arms, as if it was trying to get out of her embrace. Maybe it was. Belle suddenly feared it would jump out of her arms and alert the guards to her presence. She held onto the edge, keeping it in place and took out the potatoes to stuff them into the small pockets of her hood instead. _Now what_? Could she let it go? She still needed that steak.

With one free hand only she inched forward again towards the plate. That was when the bowl broke free of her grasp, slipped out of her hand and fell to the floor, where it shattered to a thousand pieces of light grey, scattered all over the white tiles of the kitchen floor.

Belle noticed the sudden dead silence in the kitchen. Every pot, every knife, every plate was suddenly standing still, but for once it didn't make Belle feel the slightest bit comforted. She felt the strange, but intense stares, that the animated objects possessed, all directed straight at her. Her hand was still half reaching for the steak. Now was the time to run. No need for cover. Her hand lunged for the piece of meat as if acting by its own greedy will, but as her fingertips touched the soft edge, a large butcher's knife dived right down the middle of the steak, making Belle withdraw her hand with a scream. She tripped over the pieces of the porcelain and lost her balance. She fell to the floor and crawled a few steps back, blinded by her own hair.

Frantically, she looked up to find the air above her saturated with all kinds of knives and forks, like the kitchen wanted to punish her for the intrusion by eating her itself.

They attacked. Belle screamed.

They never reached her. A few bounced off against the floor with loud clinks and the sheer amount of falling silverware made the sound almost ear piercing. She was covered from the light. After a few seconds Belle realized she had closed her eyes and ducked out from under her arms, which she had raised above her head protectively, to find herself staring into the wooden underside of her bench. She knew it had to be the same one, nothing else in this castle would want to protect her. Belle thought of nothing other than to get out of there, no she had gained a second chance, and she crawled backwards until she was out in the dark again. Safely hidden from potential firing of weapons through the door, she leaned against the wall and tried to catch her breath.

Moments later the bench walked out. She now recognized the two-part knocking from before. It was the legs of the bench as it moved across the floor, its legs moving not unlike those of a dog. More stiff maybe. A lot more.

The bench walked slowly now, limping almost and in a way that gave Belle associations to an animal in pain. There were a variety of knives and other service sticking out of the green cushion on top. It walked past her as Belle stared at it, wide-eyed and incredulous. It kept walking once it passed her, limping away from her.

"Stop", she whispered. Nothing happened and Belle wasn't quite sure what she was doing, but she did it anyway. "Please stop." It did. Belle sat still for a moment, awaiting some sort of reaction. Every time the furniture in the house stood still, her rational mind wanted to convince her that they weren't alive, but they were. Belle carefully crawled over to it, moving as silently as she could, afraid any noise might set off the kitchen and start another attack. The bench stood still and let her reach it. She stared at it, for a brief moment of insanity expecting to find a face of any sort in front of it, but only found a square edge, leading down to its wooden legs. Belle reached out a hand and stroked the fabric of the cushion with light, hesitant fingers.

"I can't believe you did that for me", she whispered to it. "Thank you." The bench said nothing of course.

"How about I take these out of you? Does it hurt?" She kept speaking to it as if expecting an answer, only to realize immediately thereafter, that it wasn't going to reply. Belle made a judgment call and carefully pulled out the silverware from its back. She felt that the seat of the bench had to be its back, if the rest was legs. Like if it was a dog. The strangest dog she had ever met.

It stood still and made absolutely no noise whatsoever, but even so Belle thought she could feel it wincing in pain as she took out the knives. That part was probably just in her head. She took a closer look at it, now that she was in a position to really study it. She couldn't determine the type of wood in this dull light, but she noticed the beautiful curves of the legs and the little knob at the ends, slightly resembling feet.

"Aren't you a pretty one", she said in a soothing voice, on some level thinking it would have a comforting effect on it, perhaps dulling the pain she thought it was feeling_. God, I'm think I'm going crazy_, she thought, but at least it seemed she had made a friend out of it. When she had pulled everything out of the cushion, she stroked the surface of the cushion again. She got what she thought was perhaps a friendly vibe from it. The aura that surrounded all the furniture, which in this one's case spoke of friendly feelings instead of hostility and rejection, seemed to elude satisfaction. She might just be imagining things, but it made her smile nonetheless.

* * *

><p>The two-parted knocking sound now echoed along with her own footsteps, as Belle wandered the empty halls of the right wing of the castle. After having saved her, the bench had followed her like a stray dog, who takes a sudden liking to a random by passer. It had started walking after her as soon as she got up to move on. Her first few steps had been immediately followed by the knocking sound of the bench' steps. Belle had turned around and once she looked at it, she could almost picture the face of a smiling dog and a whacking tail.<p>

"Do you want to come with me?" She had asked it, they way one addresses their pets. Neither this time did the bench utter any kind of response, but when she started walking again, it followed her, keeping just a pace behind her.

Animated furniture or not, Belle was relieved to have some company again. Even though this particular stray dog didn't utter a sound, its presence made Belle feel less alone and hopeless. The bench walked its stiff pace right beside her now, filling the large hallway with a loud echo from its wooden feet. It drowned the sound of her own steps.

It was just as dark over here. Despite the sense of being watched and the ever-present thoughts of her younger self crying out for her fallen mother, blowing renewed life into her haunting memories, she felt safer with her new companion. She thought that it would in some way be able to warn her against danger, since it was tied by the same magic that floated through the rest of the castle. And it had already expressed the wish to protect her. It gave her just an ounce of peace to focus on the new mission: Finding Rumpelstiltskin's book of dark magic. She knew her change of plans was risky, and she could only hope that Rumpelstiltskin was too busy with Red to realize what she was doing. She had to do something. Sitting in front of the wardrobe, waiting for it to step aside didn't seem like much of a plan to Belle. Then she'd rather try this. Even if he did notice her search, there was a chance he might seek her out and she would get another chance to sort out this mess.

Belle had never known where he hid the book. She had never stumbled upon it and she was sure he had hid it well. She would just have to look the whole building through until she found it. She had some good guesses though as to where it could be. After all she did know Rumple. You wouldn't see, if you didn't know, but he was sentimental. Everything he did and had done, he did out of love. Or loss thereof. It pained Belle, because she knew what that said about her, but she knew it was the truth. So something as important as the book, he would hide in a place that held a special meaning to him. He had had it for a long time and her first thought was that its hiding place was tied to the memory of his family, which was why she now found herself in the right wing of the castle.

This side was just as destroyed as the other. They hadn't seen much of it earlier, her and Red, because they had headed straight for the chambers, but now Belle had the time to take a look, as she ascended a few levels higher. It was the same story: Cracked walls, ripped up carpets and splinters of broken ornaments. This side was more decorated, compared to the other, with all kinds of statues and what looked like containers for a variety of plants. Only those had died and their holders were shattered to pieces. Some hallways were flooded with oceans of broken porcelain and glass, making it difficult to walk. Rumpelstiltskin had been thorough when he decided to take his anger out on the castle. She wondered what state she would find the master bedroom in. This was where she was headed first. Along the way she wondered, if he even used it. It would make sense to her, if he didn't want to use the bedroom he had shared with his wife, before she ran away, but now that she thought about it, she wasn't sure he slept at all. Not once had she caught him sleeping or announcing his withdrawal for the night. And then there was those two days, where he sat by the entrance to the dungeons, waiting for the thief. She figured he might have slept a little in between waiting, but she couldn't know for sure. Maybe there was so much dark magic in him now, that standard human needs became optional to him.

They ascended another staircase and Belle's heart fluttered with relief as she saw cracks in the wooden barrier on the window just at the end of the stairs, allowing it to brighten a fraction. She didn't rush up though, but waited for her new friend, who had a little trouble conquering stairs. She had realized that the noises she had heard earlier in the day must have been the bench trying to walk downstairs. There was something quite adorable about the clumsy manner, in which the bench fought its way up the staircase. It seemed to insist on tagging along and Belle smiled in a soundless giggle, momentarily amused by the bench' struggles.

When the bench finally reached the top it stood still for a while, and Belle imagined it was catching its breath. Of course that made no rational sense, but Belle couldn't help thinking it either way. She had come to accept that the insides of this cursed castle had a strange effect on her mind, but as long as it kept her fear of darkness pushed down, like it seemed to at the moment, she welcomed the change.

The light also helped. It was just a thin beam of sun, nothing more than to throw a line of light against the opposing wall, but it was something. The air was slightly lighter too. Belle made a right and continued towards the master bedroom. As soon as she started walking the bench followed eagerly, having seemingly overcome the exhaustion from walking stairs. On the walls hang portraits that Belle vaguely recognized from the few times she had been up here in the past. It was the section she hadn't been supposed to touch, but after she had accidently done so once and learned the story of the rooms, Rumpelstiltskin had allowed her to clean it once in a while.

She reached the double doors to the master bedroom shortly thereafter. They were made of beautiful pieces of mahogany with patterns of roses carved into the wood. The crack that ran along the walls seemed to stop just before reaching this door, as if he, in his destructive travel through the castle, had left this room untouched. Belle pushed open the doors and walked into the room with slow, careful steps.

It still looked as magnificent as it had before. It looked completely untouched by his destructive forces. The enormous bed was centered in the room, closing up to the opposing wall and large windows were placed on each side. Neither of these was barred and large gulps of redeeming light were let in. All the way along the right wall was large wooden cases maybe meant for books, but they were empty, apart from a few small items. Some looked like little toys, others were figures that Baelfire could have made. No books of any kind. There was a sideboard along the left wall, placed under a large, framed mirror and leftovers of Milah's belongings were still lying there, collecting layers and layers of dust. A small comb, little pieces of jewelry. The scene had always made Belle think that they must have left in a hurry, her and the child. Like she had reached a sudden threshold, where she could stand it no longer. It had always left Belle with feelings of aversion towards this woman and pity for Rumple, that his wife would do such a thing to him. But being here now, where everything had changed so radically, she tried to be more objective, tried to understand instead of pushing the thought away with disgust. She had to for Red.

Belle moved to the windows to take a look outside, while thinking that as thorough as Rumpelstiltskin had been in his mayhem, he was also well aware of which rooms he was destroying. This again made her think of the ruins of the beautiful library and the promise of vendetta it seemed to hold. Like he had wrecked the part of the castle that was tied to her, but not the part that was tied to his wife. What was that supposed to mean? Belle looked out the window. The castle was entirely surrounded by trees and from here she couldn't see the path they had come from, only the bright blue sky and green for as far as her sight could reach. It had to be early afternoon, judging from the position of the sun.

A sudden feeling crept over her. She felt watched again, but in a different way. She felt unwanted but more forcefully so than in other parts of the castle. Somehow she didn't think anything in here was alive, having seemingly avoided the stroke of magic that had painted the rest of the castle, but the malignancy of the lingering dark magic reached her anyway. She felt like it told her to get out. The room started to feel cold and Belle backed away from the window.

At her forth backwards step a large crack shot up the window glass and seconds after it splintered, throwing sharp pieces of glass everywhere with a screeching sound. Belle covered her face and only felt a few prickles of the sharp edges against her arms. Then the cold wind hit her and almost blew her backwards with a force she hadn't thought possible for an autumn breeze. The wind screeched like it was being sucked inwards to push her out and it was screaming at her to go away.

Belle quickly decided to obey and backed out of the room. The doors slammed themselves shut as soon as she was out.

She fell back against the stone wall, panting. The bench, which had stayed outside the whole time, inched closer to her.

"I… I don't think he wants us in there", Belle said, when she caught her breath. The bench stood beside her, waiting. Belle didn't want to say it out loud, unsure how many ears would catch her words, but she thought the book could be close. She had hit an obvious soft spot. There had been no sight of any book in there, but Rumple was good at hiding things. She might need to get back in there.

"Let's take the next one, shall we?"

Baelfire's room was just a few doors down the same corridor. It was much smaller and only had a single door. On the door hung a golden plate with his name on. It was written with some kind of colored ink and judging from the writing, by Baelfire's own hand. Belle didn't know the exact age of the boy. He must be old enough to know his own name in writing, but still young enough to express the childishness evident in the large, shaky, uneven letters.

Belle walked inside and the bench stayed out in the hall this time too. This room was indeed much smaller and just like she remembered it. There was a smaller window here, but it lighted up the room and made it feel like a sanctuary. The small closet was full of clothes in size for a small boy, and Belle was reminded that she had had the inner debate of his age before. He could be around five, but Rumple never said anything about it. They must have left most of his toys behind and they still lay spread out on the floor. Belle had left it like that out of respect for Rumple's wishes. He didn't want it touched. And he still hadn't; this room was just as intact as the previous.

She wondered if he could have hid the book here, but her thoughts picturing a little boy playing around in here took up just as much space. She had never seen the paternal side of Rumple, but now she stood here imagining him playing with his perhaps five year old son, being a part of a whole family instead of living in the ruins of it. The covers of the bed was thrown aside, and Belle thought again that Milah must have just dragged him right out of bed and into the forest night to get away. Why would she run so suddenly and with such haste?

Belle stood by the bed and put a hand on it, while picturing Rumple tugging in his son for the night.

"_Get out! Get out of his room!"_

Rumpelstiltskin's voice was suddenly in her head again, hissing viciously and barely sounding like his own. The other thing in him twisted his words and his voice, making it sound like a whisper of a snake.

"Rumple, are you there?" Belle called out into the empty room. "I want to talk to you. Please, will you let Red go and come talk to me instead?" She received no answer, but she was sure that he could hear her nonetheless. He was listening through the ears of the walls. She tried again. "Let Red go and come face me."

She thought she heard a distant giggle then.

"_It's got a wolf up its sleeve, but soon it will never leave."_

The room was quiet then. Belle shuddered at the hissing sound, and the aftertaste of the cruel promise frightened her. He wouldn't come on his own. She would have to get through that closet into the dungeons. Just the thought of it made her so tired.

Belle left the room, afraid more windows would break and throw glass at her face. She didn't leave though. She stayed in the hallway outside and looked into the room. The door didn't slam in her face this time and she settled down against the opposite wall, hoping to get an epiphany on how to find his book. These two rooms must be the key to finding it, she just had to figure out how.

She yawned loudly and her eyes started to feel heavy. She hadn't gotten much sleep these last forty eight hours or so and something in this place made the sleepiness worse. Belle leaned back against the wall and she pondered how to decipher the keys of the two rooms as sleep gradually took her over.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Omg over 50 reviews, you guys are the best! I can't tell you how happy it makes me to read your comments. Now let's get to it.**

**Chapter 20**

On some level it worried Red how quickly her taste for raw meat had grown. She had always eaten cooked meals, and she only now realized just how pleasing this was for her wolf. It hummed in satisfaction. And it drew closer to the surface. This was the part that worried her.

She could feel it in her temper. Her blood boiled with almost uncontainable fury every time Rumpelstiltskin taunted her and her restlessness made her aggressively agitated on the occasions, where she was left alone in the silent isolation of the cell. He was trying to deprive her of human senses, she knew that. There was nothing to look at down here, no way to tell time, utter silence and no one to talk to. She had endured solitude before, but this was on a new level.

Red kept watching her fingernails. This was the first thing she had noticed about her mother: Her fingernails growing into sharp claws. Her teeth had sharpened too, but there was no mirror in here, so Red couldn't be sure if hers did. She could only feel for it with her tongue and they seemed normal still.

Her nails were still short and round also. The worst part, Red thought, was that she didn't feel happy that she was still only human. It kept her from getting to Belle. She still didn't know if she could avoid having to choose between her sanity and Belle, but as long as she didn't at least try she would get nowhere. It wasn't that simple though. One thing was that she didn't really want to let in the wolf – another was that she couldn't. There was a mental blockage keeping her from reaching out to it, the same way Belle was caught helpless in the dark. The same way everyone else shied away from their phobias. She wouldn't let herself drag it out.

She had to find a way soon though. As long as she had been kept down here, as long had Belle had been alone in the castle. In the dark. Belle was brave and Red was sure she would find a way to cope, but how long would that last? When this thought got appropriately strong she would get up and try with all her strength to break the bars or pull them apart. It was never any good. Human strength just wasn't enough. She had tried several times now and she was sure the dark wizard was sitting somewhere watching her in his own way, laughing hysterically at her constant failure.

For what felt like the fifteenth time she fell back on the floor and stared furiously at the metal fence. She rubbed the shoulder that she on last try had smashed into the bars with no success. She lay back on the floor, trying to calm herself. Lying down like this was one of the only things that worked. Just looking at the bars made her angry. The bench he had put in here as a sad excuse for a bed was apparently still mad at her for calling it ugly, because it kept tipping her off in the middle of the night. As a result Red had pulled the blanket down and rolled herself in that when she slept on the stone floor. It was cold down here, cold enough that even her high resistance wasn't enough to keep her warm.

Of course this amused Rumpelstiltskin immensely.

"Sleeping on the floor like a good pet now, I see", he had said to her a while ago, could have been yesterday morning. She hadn't been in a good mood and had settled for throwing her empty water tray at him. She felt it expressed her feelings better than words. He had just giggled and made the tray disappear. She hadn't gotten new water yet, which she suspected was meant as a punishment. She was so thirsty now her entire insides felt dry like sand. And it made the wolf even angrier. Or rather slightly panicked, but it that too was channeled through anger. The wolf didn't possess a very nuanced emotional spectrum.

This was where her mental roadblock showed up. Something in her was feeling the wolf taking a whiff at the surface air and tried to push it down by drowning her mind in horrible memories of her deranged mother. Her claws dragging across every surface of the cottage, filling it with high-pitched screeching. She remembered one time she was sitting on the floor in her own room when her mother was suddenly standing in the doorway, looking at her with foreign eyes and a half smile lingering at her mouth. Red remembered being instantly frozen to the spot, insecure and frightened for her mother's intentions. By this time her mother had been slipping in and out of sanity a couple of times and Red hadn't been sure, if she was lucid then or not. Red hadn't even dared crawling backwards when her mother entered, aware that sudden movements would set of her feral instincts or signs of rejection would trigger her anger.

Her mother had sat down in front of her, crouching, and stretched out a hand. Red's eye had caught the sight of those sharp, claw-like fingernails. Her hand was a human size this time and her nails were slowly growing backwards. The sight had calmed young Red's rabbit heart. Her mother wasn't planning to hurt her then. She could have sworn that sometimes the woman looked at her with hungry eyes. Her grandmother had told her that wolves are not the kind of animal that eats their young, but even she hadn't sounded too sure. All her mother had done was to gently place her hand under Red's chin, holding her head still to meet her gaze. Her smile had seemed human and genuine for a moment.

"My little girl", she had said with an uncharacteristic softness in her voice. "Do you know why I decided to call you Red?"

Little Red had tried to shake her head. The fear for her mother and the distress of knowing such an emotion had closed up her throat, making her unable to speak. Her mother smiled again.

"Because I knew, looking at you the very first time, that you were just like me. I knew you were one day going to like the color just as much as me."

Young Red had said nothing and sat petrified until her mother moved again at the sound of rushing footsteps up the stairs. Moments later Granny had burst through the door with panic in her eyes.

"Anita…" She hadn't said anymore, silenced by an irritated growl.

"We're fine mother", Red's mother spat and left the room. Moments later a howl had pierced Red's ears and her mother was gone for the day.

Red shook her head at the memory. Of all the things she had seen and heard throughout her childhood, that moment had frightened her the most. Now even more, because it felt like her mother had seen right through her, pulling out her worst fear and put a name to it. It was the reason why Red feared herself. She feared the part of herself that was tied to the wolf, that part of her that allowed such vicious creature to take over her body and mind. The part of her that liked raw meat and couldn't help feeling exhilarated at the smell and sight of blood. The part of her that was her mother.

Now for the first time she was forced to face that part, no running allowed. It was the link between her and the wolf, the bridge she had to build. She dreaded it more than anything, but she would have to do it. For Belle. Belle being trapped in here was all her fault for not insisting more on keeping her out of it. It would have hurt, but it would have been better. It was too late now.

The door at the other end of the room opened and Red sat up immediately. She could smell fresh water. Actually smell it. Rumpelstiltskin entered, carrying the tray of water that Red couldn't take her eyes off, balancing it on his long grey fingers. Her throat was suddenly burning with thirst. He walked to her and put it down without a word. Red flew to the fence, but he still kept the tray out of reach. She tried sticking her hand out through the little opening at the bottom, but it only made him remove the tray further.

"Ah-ah, bad wolfy. Sit back."

Red snarled at him with a wordless animal growl and sat back. She hated the constant struggle for power over things like her food and water and sometimes just the permission to talk. For now though, her need for water overtook her pride and she obeyed. He smiled with gloat painted in every feature of his dead-looking face and pushed the tray inside her cell. For once Red didn't give a damn about looking like a dog, but buried both hands and face in the tray and gulped in the water greedily until it was almost empty.

When she finally felt hydrated again she stood up to face the wizard. She liked that she was taller than him, as if this in some way made up for the constant humiliation. He raised an eyebrow at her as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, but he didn't comment.

Only now did Red notice that he had brought her hood. It was hanging from his right shoulder, the dirty red color looking oddly bright compared to his greyish skin and gloomy colored clothing. When he saw her looking, he shrugged it off his shoulder and caught it with his hand. He held it up and took his time to examine the extent of the damage. It really did look awful now compared to two years ago when she got it.

"I was curious, how exactly did you manage to ruin it so thoroughly?"

Red debated for a second if she should tell him or not. His eyes wandered from her face, down to the tray of water and back with a certain expression, she had come to decipher rather quickly: Obey me or you will lose your privilege to _that_. 'That' being whatever his eyes fell upon. It made up her mind for her.

"I got in close combat with a hunter and he accidently ripped it."

"Ripped _you_ a little too I see", he said, looking at the large smears of her own blood, clotted on there.

"Yes."

"The dirt?"

"Take a guess."

He raised an eyebrow at her again. "Behave wolfy. Now, how are we with the merging? Pardon me for saying so, but you look disappointingly human today."

Red was just about to answer when an idea struck her. Rumpelstiltskin knew a lot and though he could whisper things in your ear from a distance, that only you could hear, he was no mind reader, as far as Red could tell. He didn't know that she had been trying to reach down with no luck.

"I have a condition if you want to me merge with the wolf."

This seemed to surprise him. "A condition? Getting out rescuing Belle is not enough for you now?"

"You won't do anything to her, I know it. Yes, I have a condition."

He threw the hood over in a corner and walked closer to the bars, baring his teeth in a hateful grimace. By doing so he was looking a lot less human himself. Red crossed her arms and fought down the chill that threatened to shake her body at the hateful glance her capturer was piercing her with.

"Do tell wolf."

"Repair my hood and make sure the magic works like before. Then I'll do whatever I can to merge with that damn wolf."

He looked at her for a while. "Anything?"

"Anything. Now, do we have a deal?"

"Just my words. Alrighty" He giggled almost violently and skipped over to pick up the hood. Magic was a strange thing, Red thought to herself. Take this man. One minute he looked old as death itself, staring with hate strong enough to burn the face off the weak and the next he's dancing around like child with juvenile excitement in his eyes.

He picked up the hood and gave it another look. Then he shook his head at it, pulled out a loose thread in the top and pulled. Instead of unraveling the entire hood, it was like the seams redid themselves so rapidly her eyes could barely keep up with the movement, spinning the old, damaged thing into a new hood with bright, fresh color and every last bit of dirt and blood vanished.

Red smiled at the sight. She herself felt a prickle of childish joy and at the same time a little smugness, because she had been able to make him do it. She would have to try merging with the wolf no matter what, but now her hood was repaired and usable again. If she managed to escape this cell she could grab it and live on like before, once she got out of this damned place.

Not just like before though. Belle was a new factor. A part of her, one of those parts that was still just her human self, wanted to ask the girl if she would run away with her. Belle would probably like to get back to her family and it wasn't like Red had become any safer to be around, but a part of her wanted to never let Belle go, once she caught her again. She was still in here somewhere, Red could feel it. She should have left, but she hadn't. And for some reason Rumpelstiltskin didn't throw her out, even though it must be well within his powers to do so. This particular matter puzzled her. Red decided to just ask.

"Why is Belle still here?"

The wizard froze momentarily in the middle of a movement. Some kind of battle went on inside him, it seemed, and it took a while for him to answer.

"What makes you think she is?"

Red scoffed. "Come on, we both know her." Red though for a moment and then added, in a voice laced of gloat: "She might have run from you, but she's staying for me."

At that she was sent backwards into the wall with another powerful push of dark magic.

"Shut your mouth you filthy little freak!" He hissed at her.

Red knew she might get punished for that one later, but she had to push him to get out any kind of valid answer. In control, he was shut off and distant. Whenever she used Belle against him a shred of humanity shone through. His human side was a very emotional one it seemed.

"So I'm right then? But I don't understand why you're so eager to get her out of here, if you want her to yourself? And you did write us a nice welcome on the wall and all that."

Rumpelstiltskin seemed to back in control after his outburst and his composed self pushed down the emotional one. He scoffed.

"Wasn't for her. That was meant for the wolf. We always wanted a pet and the furniture isn't very talkative."

"I'm not your _pet_", Red spat.

"Yes you are. And don't think us repairing your precious hood will change anything. It can be a nice trophy in the hall along with the antlers from that hunter you so eagerly devoured. You'll never use that hood again, because you'll never leave here."

"Watch me", Red snarled.

"Oh we will. We will watch you turn into that beast you fear so much. Now, we're gonna leave you to prepare yourself, but if no change has come when we come back, more drastic measures will be taken."

With that Rumpelstiltskin freed her from his gaze and turned to leave the room. Red stood back in silence, felling that nervous chill again. How was it that the balance of their power struggle had shifted so rapidly and without her even noticing it? Red found that even with being thrown into the stone wall she liked his emotional self far better than the cold one. She would rather have the hateful stare than the calculating one of those dead eyes behind his own. It was like they were measuring her, trying to pick her apart for weaknesses and how to best use them against her. The worst part was it already knew.

* * *

><p>It wasn't that Red thought Rumpelstiltskin's threat was an empty one. In fact she was positive her lack of effort would cost her. Still, she couldn't do it. The door was closed, the chasm between her and the wolf was still bridgeless and she had no resources to build it. She had no idea how her mother started out. She was kept at a distance, so she wouldn't hear, and those things she did hear her mother say, she was too young to fully understand. Now she couldn't recall. Only short meaningless sentences like when Granny had told her mother it was unsanitary to eat from the grown, she just smiled with flashing eyes of childish joy and said: "But it tastes to much better." Those kinds of things didn't help. They just proved her mother was more wild than tamed, not how she became so.<p>

Red ran out of patience for meditating the wolf out, so she thought of Belle instead. She knew her mother's reason for merging was for the sake of her loved ones. Red hoped that the thought of Belle would somehow guide her through to the dark abyss inside her, where the wolf was slumbering. _How on earth do you expect Belle to guide you there, stupid? Belle's a saint_. The mean, rational voice had gained more force in here. It was becoming a character of its own in her head, trying like hell to keep her from completing her task. Red listened as little as possible. It was hard sometimes. And hard not to talk back. It was right though, the voice, why would the thought of someone as good and kind as Belle lead her to something as vile and destructive as the wolf? It made no sense. Red thought about it. What did her mother do? Did the thought of her young daughter, her loving husband and her overprotective mother help her go insane? Was is the thought of Red someday being her exact mirror the shovel she used to dig the wolf out of her subconscious? Red wasn't sure she liked that thought.

Suddenly Rumpelstiltskin was standing in front of her. Inside her cell.

"What the-" She started and got up, but her body was instantly paralyzed.

"Tsk. So quick-tempered", he said, shaking his head at her. "Now let's see the fruit of you promise." As he raised his hand up in the air so did her body. Her movements were now dictated by whatever spell he had cast on her and he made her hold still mid-air. Moving his index finger in a circle, her body spun around slowly so he could examine her. He kept commenting as she did: "No claws… No sharp teeth… Not even a little fluffy tail." He spun her back so to face him. "We're disappointed, wolfy."

"It takes time!" She snarled at him. The feeling of being trapped in this invisible net made anger bubble up to the surface again.

"No it takes _effort_. You're not keeping your end of the deal."

"I am! I'm trying!"

"Not hard enough. But worry not, we have just the thing to trigger you."

He snapped his fingers and black smoke flew over her, blinding her momentarily. She had a sudden sinking feeling in her stomach and when the spell allowed her to see again she was lying down. The room looked about the same and out the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of the metal bars. She must still be in the dungeons. She was elevated into the air, and the surface was hard, but even compared to the stone floor. She must be lying on some kind of plank bed. She could feel that her hands and feet were tied down by something, but she couldn't see what. She imagined some sort of chain, now alive in the same strange way her ugly bed and the rest of the furniture apparently were, sneaking around her wrists and ankles like mute snake. Only stronger and less prone to squishing. She was stuck.

Rumpelstiltskin stepped into her view leaning down to her.

"I've been doing some studying of your kind wolfy. Found a good book in my study. I did not appreciate you sneaking around in there I might add. Oh well…" He held up a book, just at the edge of her vision, pretending to read. "Quite an enlightening read. See, it tells me a wolf can be called out of its host – that's you – by extreme emotions. Like fear and pain. How about we combine those two?"

Red said nothing, but the chill of anxiety she felt before turned to utter dread. This was it. This was the punishment for the Belle-comment. That cold thing behind his eye might just be testing her, but his emotional self was looking forward to this, she could tell.

"According to this you're quite a tough one. Not much harms you. Luckily we know what does."

"If you think you can just torture it out of me-"

"That's exactly what we think." He smiled at her. That hideous, gloating smile. Part of it was probably the growing panic, but Red felt rage causing through her entire body, heating her up, filling her with this unspeakable desire to claw his face off.

"I swear when I turn I'll rip you to-" The rest of her threat was drowned in a gasp of a excruciating surprise, as a white-hot burning pain started inside her stomach. Every muscle in her body tensed at once, working fruitlessly to break free and remove the silver from her body. It had to be silver, nothing else hurt like this. She threw herself around in the merciless grasp of the chains, ached off the bench and screamed out, but nothing made it stop. Black spots started to appear in her vision and her whole body felt heated to a degree of fever.

"Stop it! Make it _stop_!" She screamed and suddenly it was over. Red lay still, panting, afraid to move before the dull burning subsided completely. She didn't understand. The intensity of the pain made her disoriented, terrified and for a moment completely detached from her own body. She floated in something with a greyish color and she couldn't feel anything. Red realized she was on the edge of passing out and fought her way back to reality. However grim, she needed to stay in control. She felt sure that whatever ways existed to bring out the wolf, pain couldn't be a good one. She had to stay conscious, had to stay in control.

Red tried to lift her head to see exactly what he was doing to her. The silver felt like it had appeared directly inside her body, etching her insides with acid flames. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she did, tears she hadn't realized she'd been crying. Lifting her head a little more she could finally see what had happened.

Red felt instantly nauseous and her head fell back on the plank. Her stomach was open. Somehow he was keeping an open cut, crossing over her abdomen from the middle of her left ribcage to her right hip. He was keeping it from bleeding too in some way. He was dropping silver right into the cut. And not just that, liquid silver. Like the filling of the steak, this would flood her entire open wound, settling as an entire layer over her exposed, tender flesh. Red became increasingly aware of just how defenseless and vulnerable she was in this moment, lying open on his table, completely at the mercy.

He came into focus again. She saw both gazes in his eyes. The calculating one of the cold, composed self and the smirking one of the emotional self. Both had a hint of disappointment.

"Not enough? We don't see any sharp teeth yet." He held up the rusty porcelain jar that contained the silver. A drop of it was hanging on the edge, waiting to jump.

"No please don't!" He ignored her plead and tipped his finger. The jar started tipping. "Please no, I can't-"

The burning felt even worse this time and her sentence was drowned in the involuntary scream that ripped up her throat. This time she could actually feel the layer of silver slosh around her open wound as she tossed around the grip of the chains. It felt like every drop of silver had gained fangs and was eating her flesh, devouring her from the inside out, bite by bite. Red fought against the blackening of her vision, refusing to give in, but panicked at the feeling of her consciousness slipping. She thought the agony alone would drive her insane, if it didn't kill her first. Heat started crawling up her neck and her ears were ringing. She could even hear it through her own desperate screaming. As her mind began to fade into oblivion she heard her own screams turn to howling and a deep subconscious roar from the beast within, whose eyes were starting to twitch.

* * *

><p>The first thing Red noticed when she woke was the uneven quality of the surface she was lying on. It was an unspeakable relief to know that she was back on the stone floor of her cell. She would sleep here forever it if meant she wouldn't have to endure another round of lying on Rumpelstiltskin's plank bed. She had never felt such an intense hate for anyone or anything in her life as she did for him now.<p>

The second thing she noticed was her thirst. Maybe she had cried and sweated all the water out of her body, maybe the silver evaporated her body fluid along with her skin or maybe it was just the strange magic lingering here, but she had never felt thirstier.

Red opened her eyes and the world started spinning. She fought through it, determined to find her water tray and pushed herself into a sitting position. As she did so, immediate nausea overtook her and she started vomiting uncontrollably. She only prayed she wouldn't hit the water tray as she emptied the sparse contents of her stomach onto the stone floor.

Throwing up dulled a bit of the nausea. She took a few deep breaths through the mouth and looked for her tray. She had lost all sense of direction and it took a while to find, but to her immense relieved she had managed not to hit it. She collected a handful to wash her face and mouth, spit it out in the ground behind her and then emptied the tray. When it was empty Red sat back against the wall, staring into space and tried to collect her scattered thoughts. She felt dizzy and disoriented.

The prank with the meat had been nothing compared to what he had put her through now – was it yesterday? Earlier this day? She had no idea. Time was a lost concept to her now. _Just like it is to animals in general_, Red thought wryly and sighed. It hurt to take deep breaths. Her insides still felt sore from the treatment. Red lifted up her clothes to examine her stomach. Her skill for fast healing was still intact it appeared. Left of the long clean cut in her skin was a long pink line and only little crust left. He must have removed all the silver otherwise this would look a lot like the last time she was injured with silver. _God, it feels like ages ago_. Red wished now more than anything that she was back in that room with Belle. She wished herself back to when no world existed apart from Belle and her gentle hands. But she was worlds away from that sense of bliss.

She tried to recall exactly what the wizard had done to her, but like the brain blocks out any extreme pain, it had blocked this too. It wouldn't let her remember. She only remembered being tied down. Screaming. She also remembered that it had felt like the wolf was waking up in her, just before she passed out. She hadn't turned though. She would be able to feel that.

She was shaking, regardless, now that she started paying attention to other parts of her body than her sore gut. Red looked down at her hands, but she could feel it too, all over. She had developed a tremble, it seemed, as if the wolf, now half awake, was rattling the cage that was her entire body. She couldn't remember if her mother had done that. It was only vaguely noticeable, hard to see from afar, she imagined. But even if she hadn't, Red knew that the wolf was inching closer to the surface. Rumpelstiltskin's silver-treatment was working and that knowledge left her cold with dread. If she was to avoid that again she had to find her own way of getting it out. This thought had her hitting the same wall again. She didn't know how. And she couldn't rely on her memories. Her mother knew her wolf better. Red didn't know hers at all. She had only been turning a fraction of the time her mother had, and she had prevented the change for the past two years, thanks to the hood. This meant that she was more a stranger to her own monster now than ever.

It had taken her mother the better part of a month to lose her mind. Would the alienation between Red and her wolf speed up the process or slow it down? She hoped for the latter. She had to.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Belle too had lost her solid grasp on time. She knew it had to be about less than a week until full moon, but anything else was too uncertain to put a finger on. She had been wandering around the castle for what felt like days, but it could be just a matter of hours. The sun was her only source for telling time and with the thorough depravation of light, she experienced in here, she lost that. Sometimes she would ascend to higher levels just to look at the sun. Every time she caught either a sunrise or a sunset, she thought to herself: _But why don't I just leave?_ And then she thought of Red. She might have told her to leave, but neither of them had anticipated the situation they were in now. At least Belle didn't think so. This was extreme circumstances and Belle couldn't just leave her stuck in the dungeons with Rumpelstiltskin and his evil second soul. God only knew what it was capable of.

But it wasn't just those selfless reasons that drove her though. It was the thought of Red's intense looks whenever they had eye contact and the gentle touch of her hands. The exhilarating feeling of kissing her. That moment they had just outside, the urgency she had felt and made Red feel, brought out by a simple kiss. Thinking back Belle remembered mostly that urgency, the vague sense of fright she had felt along with that special heat had subsided to the back of her mind. She wanted Red back and out of here. For herself as much as for the girl's own sake. Belle sighed as she learned this. She was in too deep and she knew it.

She thought of Rumple too. Not the man he had become now under the immense influence of the second soul, but the good man beneath the layers of anger and madness, the one she had come to know before. She wanted that man back too. Belle knew now that she didn't want him back quite the way she wanted Red, but she wanted to see him freed of this weight. Freed of the bad part of himself. Freed of the second soul. Only then could she truly leave here and not feel like she was running away.

At least food was no longer a critical problem. With help from her new friend she had found a stock in the basement beneath the kitchen. This was a stock much larger than the one kept in the small room beside the kitchen, the one she had been using during her short stay. Now that she thought about it, he had shown her this larger stock once during her first month, but back then she had been so preoccupied with the sudden change and Rumpelstiltskin's attitude and a behavior, which was so overwhelmingly different from everyone else's, that its location had slipped her mind. That rarely happened.

She had remembered it again the day before yesterday – or was it yesterday? – when her stomach was growling and she complained out loud. She felt stupid for not remembering it sooner; then she would never have had to risk her health for a meal.

"I don't want to go back to that kitchen, do you?" She had said to the bench. She was met by the usual silence. They were once again sitting outside Baelfire's room, because Belle was certain, if she spent enough time here, she would eventually find out, where he was hiding the book. Now her empty stomach demanded her attention, but the thought of risking her life for another meal didn't feel too appealing. "I'm just so hungry."

The bench had suddenly tapped its food on the floor and started walking. Belle hurried after it, as it led her back through the castle, walking in its own clumsy fashion.

"Where are you taking me?" Belle asked in the same voice she would use for a dog, who would be just as unlikely to offer her an answer. It led her out of the right wing it seemed, but they didn't cross the entrance hall this time. It must be leading her around the back. Down here was no light at all and Belle could do nothing but listen to the sound of the two-parted knocking of the bench' steps, concentrating on it so she wouldn't hear anything else. She had never used this way before even though she knew it was a short-cut. She hadn't used it for just this reason: It was too dark. Memories started creeping and slipped through her concentrated ears.

"Mommy help me", Belle remembered an eight year old version of herself say in a small voice. She had been sitting behind a large wooden box, which content she didn't know and half hidden by a porcelain statue they had put down there earlier that year. It was a gift from a neighboring kingdom, they had gotten years back and it had now been replaced by a new one. It was supposed to be a statue of Maurice, Belle's dad. Her mom always thought it looked dreadful and was pleased to have it removed. Belle had been hiding behind it because she thought she saw a rat, which she had fled from.

"Belle, honey where are you, I can't see you? My light went out."

"I'm over here mommy!" She had tried to wave, but it was almost pitch black and any visual guidance was useless.

"Keep talking Belle, I'll get to you."

"It the rat gone?"

"It ran away as soon as it saw you, dear. Oh!" Her mom sounded like she was tripping over something.

"What happened mommy?" Belle, tugged in between the box and the statue, couldn't see her mom anywhere, only hear her voice somewhere to the dark. Even direction held no meaning in the darkness.

"It's just slippery, dear. We need to get the maids down here and-" Her voice had suddenly broken off and a loud crash of another porcelain ornament falling to the ground shook the entire room. Belle had then heard her mother gasp, followed by a hollow crack and then silence.

"Mommy, are you okay?" She had called out immediately, but received no answer. For a while she sat like that, trying to listen, but she might as well be alone in there. "Mommy?" She called again in a shaken voice as tears filled her little eyes. In that age time felt like a different size and to young Belle it had felt like she was sitting behind that statue the entire day, repeatedly calling for her mom, but it had most likely been a matter of hours before Pierre, her favorite of her parents' servants had called out her name. She saw the light shining from the lamp he had brought. She only heard him gasp as he had discovered her mom. Belle never saw it, because Pierre had found her then, held her up and told her to close her eyes and keep them closed until they were out. When Belle had asked why, he told her that her mom was hurt and she shouldn't see that. The next time she saw her mom, she was cleaned up and lying in an open coffin. Belle was grateful now that she was able to remember her like that. She just couldn't bear seeing that pale, lifeless face every time she was in this position, trapped in the dark. Halfway through the corridor it had become too much for her.

"Stop please, I can't. I have to go back, it's too dark." The knocking stopped. Then became louder as the bench returned to her. It walked so close it knocked into her legs just above the knees, almost knocking her over. "Watch out", she whispered, as it did it again. And again. Belle finally understood that it wanted her to sit on it. Belle hesitated for a moment, but did so. The thought of holding onto something living – even if it was just in the strange sense this bench was living – always calmed her down. The cold upholstery of the bench' back cushion wasn't as comforting as Red's hand and her supernatural warmth had been, but it helped nonetheless. The pale face faded away and the cries ebbed out of her head as she focused on the strange experience it was to sit on the bench, as it started walking again. Soon she had found herself recognizing features of the left wing. Less ornamentation, less colors, the colder atmosphere. The light returned to its subdued standard and she welcomed it, relieved to be out. She got off the bench again and patted it on edge that she was beginning to consider as the head of her strange stray dog.

"Thank you. Now where to?"

The bench walked again and she recognized the corridor leading to the kitchen.

"I thought we didn't want to go back there?" The bench kept walking. Before the light of the kitchen became more than a glimmer down the end of the corridor, the bench turned and stopped in front of a door. Belle reached out a hand, hesitant to open it and that was when she remembered it. The large reserve stock. It contained all kinds of foods that didn't need cooking and Belle could finally eat enough to reach a level of complete satiety.

Since then they had visited the stock twice a day or at least Belle thought so. It was a large room on the basement level, stuffed wall to wall with shelves of foods with long shelf lives. Different kinds of bread too and these still looked good. It was close to pitch black at places, but it seemed her hunger for once outmatched her anxiety. The presence of the bench helped her too. Belle eagerly helped herself to meal after meal and the bench just stood in the middle of the room, watching her every time. She had more than once wondered why Rumpelstiltskin did nothing to prevent her from eating his food, but she was becoming increasingly aware of the fact that she wasn't the guest of honor. Red was. She didn't understand why Rumple took such interest in her. She did at no point consider that he was choosing Red over her as a romantic statement, not with the look he had given her, when they found him in his chambers. It wasn't that. She wasn't even sure Rumpelstiltskin was capable of any sort of romantic emotion with his current state of mind. No, it had to be something else. It must have to do with the wolf. It must be of reasons only the second soul understood, she couldn't fathom what Rumple, as the man she knew, would want with her. Belle now more than ever regretted the destruction of the library. She knew there was a book about his sort of powers in there too. Or maybe in his study. She needed more information about him. Some new knowledge on the subject of werewolves wouldn't hurt either. She hated not knowing and right now she had no idea what state Red was in. What had Rumpelstiltskin's control done to her? She recalled Red's blank stare, when he tore her heart out and held it up in front of her. Was her heart the reason he kept her? Belle didn't understand, but she was determined to get to the bottom of it. And time was a critical issue, with the full moon closing in.

Belle had found a candle and a couple of matches stashed in the stock too, probably for this particular purpose: Finding the right food, when the light wasn't working. Now she had placed the candle on the ground and sat against the wall staring at it. She tried not to focus on how this light made the surrounding darkness seem even thicker. The bench didn't like the open flame and honestly she couldn't blame it, but it stayed as close to her as it seemingly dared. Her stray dog was a loyal one it appeared. Belle kept thinking that she should offer her wooden friend something, but repeatedly reminded herself that it wasn't an actual dog. It might seem just as alive at times, but it didn't eat. When full Belle sighed and leaned her head back against the wall, closing her eyes for just a second. In a minute she would get up, get out of here and plan out her next move for finding the book.

That was when a tortured scream, distant but still quite audible, ripped through the silence and made Belle's blood turn to ice. It spoke of such intense agony it broke a piece off of Belle's heart even before her mind recognized the voice.

_Red_, she thought, too shocked to speak out loud, as her heart started pounding faster and a lump gathered in her throat. Never had the girl sounded so vulnerable and so tortured. Belle scrambled to her feet and spun around herself, trying to understand where it was coming from. Red was still screaming somewhere out there and it sounded like something was tearing her in half, ripping her apart piece by piece. Belle eyes filled with tears and she pushed herself against the wall she had been sitting up against. The sound came from behind that.

_Red where are you?!_

Then it stopped as suddenly as it had begun and silence fell upon the room again. Darkness too and Belle realized she had kicked the candle away in her frantic search for Red. She sat still in the dark for a moment, panting, as if her body was responding physically to the pain, Red had felt, and she felt the tears run down her cheeks. Belle tried to think. She must still be in the dungeons. They were located in the left wing too and this room must be closing right up to it. Still her screaming had to be loud to penetrate the thick walls. Rumpelstiltskin was torturing her. She had to think that sentence twice to understand. _He's torturing her_. Was there really nothing left of the man she had known and loved? The man who wasn't cruel by nature, but merely broken by his wife's betrayal? For just a moment Belle experienced the closest thing she had ever come to loathing a human being. In that moment she hated him. She hated Rumple for letting this evil inhuman thing inhabit his body and causing him to do this.

The screaming started again, louder this time if possible. Red must be screaming at the top of her lungs. Belle's knowledge of Red being in pain was limited to that grimace on her face, when Belle had cleaned her wound and changed her bandage, but this was miles from that. Worlds of agony away from it. Belle could almost hear the panic in her voice.

"Red…" She cried, hugging the wall as if it would somehow bring her closer to the girl withering in agony somewhere behind those layers of stone. All she wanted in that moment was for her pain to go away, to hold her and stroke her hair and tell her it was all going to be okay. But it sounded so far from. As Belle listened, the scream grew harsher, more feral and closer to the sound of the howling wolf before it died down all together. Belle sat by the wall, kneeling in front of it for hours thereafter, listening for the sound of Red with her trembling hands flat against the wall and her forehead resting against it, only praying no more screams would come.

* * *

><p>Belle kicked the sturdy, stubborn wardrobe when it still refused to move. It didn't slam its door in her face now, but merely ignored her, mocking her weakness. Her fresh set of tears were guided by anger and frustrations just as much as the fear for Red's health this time. She knew she wouldn't get through the entrance, before the second soul allowed her, but it hadn't kept her from trying again, edged on by the sound of Red's screaming, which was still ringing in her ears. She walked back up the small staircase with angry, defeated steps. She could feel the wardrobe smirking at her for once again denying her access to the dungeons and knowing the curse of this place, she might not even be imagining that. Belle dumped heavily to the floor and sat there in a moment of utter despair. The memory of Red's tortured screams had settled like a spiked chain around her heart and was preventing her from thinking clearly. She sat there for a moment, watching and listening as the bench caught up to her. She had run from it in a frantic impulse to try and break through to the dungeons again. It had only now made its way back to her, apparently not having the slightest doubt about where she had gone.<p>

"I can't get through to her", Belle whispered to it and caressed the soft fabric of the cushion as the bench stopped in front of her. "There's just no way." Saying the words aloud felt like another defeat and it angered her. It made her furious to a point, where she didn't quite recognize herself. Belle so rarely got angry and never like this. But never before had she sat like that, listening to a loved one being tortured. The day her mother died had not been the same and only left her sad. Now she was experiencing real fury and she couldn't sit here anymore. If she couldn't get through to her, maybe she could get through to him. She would find his damned book and she almost hoped he would catch her doing it and finally show his face instead of hiding in the dungeons, where he knew she couldn't reach him.

"You're a coward Rumpelstiltskin", she said through clenched teeth, hoping he would hear. Then she got up and started walking. The bench quickly followed her, but couldn't quite keep up. It followed her from a distance as she headed for the staircase leading through the dining hall. For once she was too blinded by the sudden anger to let her anxiety get to her. The anger filled her up, guided her and she was pleased to let it. It felt more constructive and it definitely felt better than being afraid and saddened by the thought of Red being hurt.

Somehow the anger made her focus. Remembering the sentimentality of Rumpelstiltskin's nature Belle decided to take a different approach. Maybe the castle chasing her out of his family rooms was just a way of preserving it. After all they had been in his life longer than she had. But Rumple had shown true feelings for her that the second soul couldn't deny. He had destroyed the library because he was mad at her for leaving. But he hadn't broken the chipped cup, a much more powerful symbol of the love they once shared. If he really wanted to send her a message he would have broken that. Yet he hadn't. Maybe because he couldn't, maybe this was the key to unlocking his spell book. Belle suddenly felt certain this was it.

The only question left then was _how_ was it a key?

Belle's angered mind only wavered slightly as the decrease of light and her steps were loud in the empty hallway. When she reached the dining hall she pushed through the doors right away. A small part of her mind had expected to find Rumpelstiltskin standing behind the doors, leaning against the table or spinning on his wheel in the corner as he waited for her entry. The room was empty though. It looked just like when they had first been here, wrecked and abandoned. She skipped past the enormous, broken table and the bodies of slain chairs and headed for the cabinets of ornaments down at the end.

She spotted the chipped cup from afar, standing alone on one of the shelves, where she had left it. Around it were stacks of fancy porcelain plates, silverware, different kinds of jewelry and other things that people had paid him with for his magic. He had said that it was a cabinet of memories and trophies. Belle had then asked him if he considered her a trophy. His eyes had lingered in the chipped cup on that same shelve and his gaze was soft as never before when he looked back at her.

"No", he had said with a humble voice completely devoid of the theatrical tone that he so often used. Belle also remembered the day she had tried to confront him about pushing her away and allowing his greed for power to block her out. It had gotten to a point where Belle was yelling at him and raising her voice made him even more agitated. He was childish like that sometimes. He had himself so worked up that soon he had started throwing the chairs of the dining hall around and porcelain plates form the cabinet was flying out, crashing against the walls everywhere. The anger in his eyes had turned to panic as the outburst of magic started spinning out of control. Belle had started to fear then, if he would finally lash out on her, which he had said he never would, but then she saw that his eyes fell on the cup standing in there alone on its shelf and for a moment he had relaxed.

"You need to leave Belle. Our deal is over, leave the castle."

"No Rumple-"

"LEAVE!" As he screamed at her, he looked mad like never before. He looked desperate for a second and then turned, summoned a force so powerful Belle could _feel_ the energy rushing to him and with a single push the enormous dining table started cracking down the middle. Rumpelstiltskin kept screaming: "Leave! Leave! Leave!"

And so Belle did.

Now she was back here, holding the chipped cup, staring angrily at it. This meant something to him. It had kept its place in the cabinet although everything else was broken and shattered. Was the book somewhere in the cabinet, hidden to the naked eye? Belle tried placing the cup on different shelves, hoping some of the positions would trigger a hiding spot. She didn't know how magic worked, especially not dark magic.

None of it seemed to work.

Belle sighed and took a step back. She held the cup carefully in her two hands as she tried to think. The anger was dying out in her. She was still mad at him, but staying angry was not a thing Belle often did. She didn't know how to keep it alive. Her determination hadn't failed yet though. She would do this.

_Think. The chipped cup is the key. What is the key hole? It has to be in this room._

Then she had it. She started looking through the ruins of the cabinet to see if he had thrown away the little box. She had left it in the same cabinet that held the cup. It wasn't in here now. It must have fallen out or Rumple had sent it flying across the room in his despairing destruction. She searched the entire floor around it and when she didn't find it there, she started looking around the room. It was a small box, easy to miss. A little wooden box, which could disappear in corners. She went to the far end of the room and back.

Suddenly it was there. A little square, wooden box caught in one of the shredded curtains. It must have slid across the floor. It seemed unharmed and with an increasing heart rate she broke the seal and opened it.

Inside she found the little porcelain piece. The one that had broken off the cup. Belle had kept it because she wanted to repair the cup, but as it started gaining the special symbolism, she decided not to. Of course Rumple knew that she had kept the piece, he knew all the contents of his cabinet. Belle was sure that this was how the key was triggered.

She hurried back to the cabinet and took the little piece out of the box. She picked up the cup and carefully put the pieced together. Then waited.

Nothing.

Laughter filled her ears, gloating, mean laughter in a voice that was so familiar and yet not.

"_You silly little girl, thought you had it all figured out. You will never find it."_

It was Rumpelstiltskin's voice, yet again it was foreign. Belle realized it was the second soul, speaking directly to her for the first time.

"This is cruel!" She yelled out, feeling a fraction of the anger flaring up again. "Stop it! Come face me instead!"

Just like last time her plead was unanswered. He said no more, but left her in silence with the cup her hands. As she put it back the broken piece fell off again and she let it be. For a moment she just stared at the ruined cup, crestfallen. Only when she heard the familiar two-parted knocking sound of the bench approaching, did she take her eyes off the cabinet. It walked up to her and she patted it lightly.

"I really thought I had figured it out", she told it and sighed. She had been so sure for a moment. In the end she wasn't as important to Rumpelstiltskin's new split personality as she had initially thought.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Red was starting to feel like a broken clockwork. Sometimes the hands would stop, but time was still passing. She just couldn't keep up. It was like her mind checked out for a while and then returned, leaving her confused and scared. She could be sitting on the ground, eating, and the next thing she knew she was rattling the bars growling at Rumpelstiltskin, having no idea what he had said to infuriate her this time or how long they had been talking. There was no way of knowing how long she checked out, because time was a meaningless concept down here, where the surroundings never changed. Sometimes she couldn't form words. She knew what she wanted to say and it was typically when she wanted to yell profanities at the wizard, when her mind shut down and she couldn't make out the shape of those words she used to say. Instead she would growl at him and it wasn't that human growl with a feral undertone anymore. It was a real animal sound that no human could produce. Then again she wasn't completely human. And she could feel that now.

She kept focusing on Belle as much as she could, hoping that if she held on to her, she could hold on to humanity. The mean rational voice inside her head wasn't convinced her effort would make any difference.

_You don't even know if he's fooling you again. Belle might not be alive at all and all this will be for nothing._

And she knew there was a possibility the voice was right. But she couldn't allow herself to believe that. She didn't really. For one thing because she thought she had lost Belle once already and she still felt sick just thinking about it. Another was that it never made sense for Rumpelstiltskin to let her kill Belle. He loved her somehow, even if that cold, distant self behind his eyes didn't. He wouldn't let her do it. And he had her under control. So she told the voice to shut up and tried to think of something else.

Still, it would be nice to know.

The door opened and Red flinched. It had become an involuntary reflex every time he entered, ever since the torture. It angered her that she was showing such weakness, but the experience seemed carved too deep into her memory for her body to ignore.

He noticed it too, she was sure of it. He would often chuckle to himself and serve her the raw steak. And she would gladly eat it. Today she waited. She watched him as he pushed the tray into her cell, but didn't move to go get it like she used to. Her stomach rumbled quietly in protest.

"What's wrong wolfy, too cooked? I can just get you half a cow in here if it suits you better to slice the piece yourself."

"I want some kind of certainty that Belle's alive", she said, ignoring his comment.

"This is not a hostage situation."

She scoffed. "Sure it is. Your furniture is watching her and you slammed the door behind us."

"Have you tried turning the handle? No wait, you can't." He giggled and smirked at her. "But wasn't it your unshakable conviction that she's still here?"

"It is. But it's not like her to be so absent. She would try to get in here."

"Who says she hasn't? She's having a little trouble getting past my wardrobe. We did a little relocation."

Red snarled at him.

"Oh and I hung your hood in the entrance. Really brightens up the place."

"Does it cover the broken stairwell and the smashed chandelier?"

He shushed her. "Not so cocky. Be a good wolf and I promise to play fetch with you later. We can use the crystals."

An animal growl ripped through her throat and she slammed a hand into the fence, so hard it vibrated a little. He smiled and she bared her teeth at him. It just made him smile more.

"Keep up the good work and you will be out of here in no time", he said and it instantly made her withdraw her hand, as she realized he was right. She had never before had the strength to make any kind of visible impact in the bars. The wolf really was surfacing.

Rumpelstiltskin left her alone then and she stood back, motionless and for the first time really realizing that she was changing. At first, when she had admitted to herself that her temper had grown far more feral than usual, she sort of pushed it away and she tried not to think of the time lapses at all. For some reason the only thing that really made her open her eyes was the sight of the trembling bars.

She was still in control though, that had to be a positive thing. She was still fully aware. _No, you're not, you're losing time. _

"Shut up, it's not that bad", Red snarled out loud. The mean voice shut up.

It didn't help that the full moon was in its last quarter of the circle. It would be full within a week. She might have lost her grasp on real time, but this she knew. She could feel it in the core of her body. The wolf was more agitated and harder to contain. It wanted out and the gates already felt ajar. Red was afraid that a single push could burst them open, if it was hard enough. It made her feel unsafe, like her humanity was in danger. Her sanity too.

Red looked down at her hands. They were trembling constantly now, just slightly. She curled them into fists and sat down on the bench. Preoccupied with her thoughts, she had forgotten just why she didn't use the bed anymore.

The bench climbed up on its front legs and tipped her off. Red, who hadn't been prepared for this, stumbled to the ground and only managed to put up her hands a fraction of a second before she hit the bars at the other end of the small cell.

She spun around with bared teeth and a fierce growl, but managed to refrain from attacking it and smashing the stupid thing to smithereens. She could feel it smirking, provoking her. It wanted her to break it. It was submitted to the wizards will and he wanted her to be violent. He thought he could irritate her into madness, but he wasn't going to win this one.

"You hear me?" She called out. She knew he was watching from somewhere and she laughed out loud at his pathetic attempt. "You won't get me that easily. No way."

Her mother had broken a lot of furniture. It was better to take out her rage on tables and chairs, rather than people. She took down a whole tree once because Red had refused to eat that night. Of course sticking to furniture hadn't worked out in the end. This was where she and her mother would differ. Red was determined to have it so. She figured that the longer she could control the anger without feeling the need to lash out physically, the more chance she had of never lashing out on people. That was unless the wizard stuck his head through the bars again and left it hanging too long. Then she would take great pleasure in gauging his eyes out and peel his skin off. _It looks deceased as it is with that greyish tone and rough texture. It shouldn't be that hard._

"_You don't look so good yourself wolfy."_

She flinched as his voice suddenly appeared in her eyes, having not even realized she was speaking out loud. As she spun around, ready to attack, she found the room empty. He had spoken to her mind instead of appearing in front of her, just like he did, when he was luring them to the chambers. It just sounded so real. Red sat back down and leaned against the wall. She was getting tired again. It had been quite long since she last slept, of course how long she didn't know. She would stay awake for longer when then full moon approached, but at the same time the room sometimes had a draining effect on her, the same way it made her hungrier than usual. It was like the room decided when it was time to sleep, because most of the time she didn't feel that sedating effect. She did now. Overcome by it she curled up on the blanket, out of touching distance from the actual bed and closed her eyes. Sleep swallowed her immediately.

* * *

><p>When she woke up, she could smell him. Although knowing that he was here took away a large part of the joy, she felt much better now that she was rested. Her head felt a little clearer. Less stuffed somehow and she felt less angry too. She could even sit up and face him without having the anger heat to more than a slight simmer.<p>

"You slept like a baby. We thought we were gonna have to wake you up."

"You're watching me sleep now? Got nothing better to do?" She replied with a cocky tone she knew annoyed him, but didn't infuriate him much. His human self had a different button for that, with the name 'Belle' on it. His distant self had no buttons.

"Surveillance is an important part of our experiment. I'm here with your food."

"Breakfast in bed, you shouldn't have."

He raised an eyebrow and shoved the tray in. She took the raw steak between both hands and started taking large bites. Her stomach was growling again.

"You're surprisingly cheerful today."

"You're unsurprisingly disappointed by that", she said with her mouth full of meat. For some reason the wizard seemed to care a great deal about manners and he loathed the sight of her talking with food in her mouth. He grimaced in disgust and shook his head.

"I'll come back when you're done."

"Bring another one of these will you? You serve way too small portions and you wouldn't want a skinny wolf, would you?"

"Don't eat more than you can keep in", he said in a voice dripping with acid. She ignored him and kept chewing as he left. She might get punished for this later, but it felt like a little victory. She wouldn't let him ruin her good mood for once. She felt powerful today and better yet, like herself. This was how it was supposed to be: Possessing the strength of the wolf while keeping her own mind. As long as she could stay like this, the plan of escaping started looking possible. He had even told her where her hood was. It would be no problem getting that, once she had gotten out of here and found Belle. She felt confident that she could get the doors open with this newfound strength. For a moment she could almost smell the fresh air.

_Calm down, one step at a time. You need to get out of here first. _

And she had to do it before full moon. She might be in control now, but she doubted she could control the wolf once the actual turn happened. What she was experiencing now was not the same measure of complete overtake. Not even close.

Red decided to put her powers to a test and got up. She would make sure to hold back a little, so Rumpelstiltskin wouldn't know how close she was to getting out. Keep him in the dark. She stepped up to the bars and took one in each hand. They didn't need to bend much, she had a slender figure. She didn't need much space as long as she was in human form. Right now they were about three or four inches apart. She held onto the metal bars in her hands and started pulling.

It proved more difficult than her momentarily arrogant mind had made it out to be. Her hands and arms started trembling with effort and the bars only gave half an inch.

Deflated again, she stood back and looked at the insignificant result. She had only held back very little and even with that she knew she still wasn't strong enough to break out. She wondered if she could knock the whole thing down. She might, but not yet. She would have to dig a little deeper for strength even though it was risky. Red sat back down on the blanket and settled for staring at the bars. She tried meditating again to see if she could call bits of the wolf out with friendly tones. It was worth a shot. For a moment she could almost taste the freedom and she was not about to let it go now.

Rumpelstiltskin suddenly appeared in the middle of the room. He shot a glance at the bars and gave her a wicked smile. Then his gaze turned cold. Red started feeling uneasy and the nervous chill shook her body. Her trembling hands shook a little more. She could see in his eyes and his widening smile that he noticed. As he snapped his fingers thick black smoke shot up from the ground and as it lifted, something appeared inside it. The plank bed and four sets of chains. Red's blood turned to ice.

"No, not again…" She whimpered and crawled back to the furthest corner of the cell. The wizard took no notice of her plead, but swung her door open with a flick of his wrist and trapped her in that same paralyzing spell. Once again black smoke blinded her and when she opened her eyes again, she was staring at the ceiling. Tied up.

"No, please don't do this, I'll be good I promise. I will shut up all day, I'll eat a whole cow, I'll scratch the wolf out myself, I-"

"How about shutting up now?" He said in a completely toneless voice. She suspected the distant self had taken over, but she kept begging him to stop anyway. "We don't like to see your progress... flat lining. You seem too clear today, let's do something about that, shall we?"

"Please don't do it, I'm begging you!"

"Can't hear you." He sang and made the jar of silver levitate.

Red stared straight at the jar, preparing herself and watching as the silver tipped out of the jar and down towards her body. As it hit her head was involuntary thrown back as her entire body ached off the table, withering at the sudden fire in her stomach. He must have opened the same cut again. He was pouring the acidic metal into her already existing wound. She whimpered through clenched teeth and dug her nails into her own skin, drawing blood, to keep from screaming. At first she thought it actually hurt a little less, as if the damaged tissue within the cut wasn't affected as much as last time. Then he poured down a little more and the silver flood in her stomach reached new heights. Red closed her eyes and screamed, no longer able to hold it in. The nausea and vertigo was returning now too.

The pain stopped. Red panted and tried to calm her body down. Her face was wet with tears again and she fought against the feeling of leaving her own body to float into the grey cloud above her.

"Still human, eh?"

"I hate you", she snarled and watched him smile. His own human self seemed to have reemerged and it was truly enjoying this. Red debated if it was even right to think of such a man as human.

"Still talking? Let's try again then."

She refused to beg this time, but stared at him with all the hate she could muster, hoping that alone would burn his face off. Her bloody hands were still curled into tight fists as she waited for the next wave. This time there was no denying the agony of the white-hot flames that burned deeper into her flesh. Red started screaming again, but tried to lie still because she knew movement only made it worse. It was too much though and her body started convulsing on its own, throwing her around in the grasp of the chains as her screams became howls. If it didn't stop soon there would be nothing left of her for the flames to eat. Black spots appeared in her vision again and the heat in her throat was choking her.

When he finally stopped, her body, which was almost entirely lifted from the bench standing like a strong bow, fell back on the table and pushed the last air out of her lungs. She gasped, coughed and started sobbing when the air returned.

"Please… I can't… can't take anymore." She felt her eyes flutter and her mind starting to slip, but fought her way back with the last of her strength. She had to blink a few times for the world to come back into focus.

"But you're not a wolf yet. No pain no gain, as they say."

"No _please_", she cried.

"Come on, you're holding up better than last time. Now…" She saw him hold up the jar again and closed her eyes, whimpering like a terrified little animal. The flood came.

It was different this time. As the agony filled her every cell again, she felt rage flare up in a way it hadn't done before. Suddenly it rushed through her and her scream became a deep roar. She felt the power building in her and as her body ached off the table, she heard the chains creak.

The next she knew she was standing in her cell again, pushed against the wall, staring at Rumpelstiltskin, who was staring right back from a distance. His expression had changed, he looked almost… frightened. Shocked.

The pain was mostly gone from her stomach and she looked down at herself. He hadn't closed the cut, but it was starting to heal in its own, closing to only a small red line. There was blood on her stomach which must have come from the wound. Her skin on her stomach looked damaged, burned and crumbled. Silver must have touched it.

As she was looking down, her eyes caught the sight of her hands. Her nails. She held them up closer. Her nails, round and flat only hours before, where now thicker, longer and sharper. Around her wrists were red markings from the chains.

Red looked up at the scene. Broken chains lay on the floor and deep furrows were scratched into the surface of the table. She had broken free. This must be why the wizard looked so shocked and why she was pressed against the wall like this. She recalled that strange new feeling in the last round of the torture. The wolf must have drawn closer yet, close enough to give her claws and the strength to break free. She felt her teeth with her tongue. Sharper.

She looked back at Rumpelstiltskin as the realization dawned her. She smiled.

"I am going to rip you to shreds. And I promise it's going to hurt."

For once he didn't smile. He said nothing, but locked up her cell door instead and disappeared with his table in a puff of purple smoke.

* * *

><p>Red kept watching her grown nails. She couldn't control it yet the way she knew her mother could. They stayed out, tore at her clothes when she wasn't careful and made screeching noises when dragged across the metal bars. She hoped the horrible sound would keep the wizard away.<p>

She felt different. She couldn't deny that. She felt… strange. There was no other way to describe it. A new state of mind. In this mind she spent more energy studying her nails and feeling her sharp teeth with her tongue, and less worrying less about Belle. She felt a touch of invincibility. She bet she could easily break out now. She bet she could tear the whole thing down and be free. Free to run. Free to do what she wanted for once. Free to find Belle. But most importantly free to find that damn wizard and give him a treatment equal to the one he had made her endure. _What works on wizards? Boiling water perhaps? Or maybe just adding a few cuts would suffice. Make his outsides match the appearance of his castle._

It struck Red, why not just do it now? She could be running freely in a matter of hours, depending on how long it took to find that grey little magician.

She got up from the ground and ran directly into the fence. It creaked and shook, but when she stood back it was still standing. She ran into it again, shoulder first, but it was still standing.

Red went for a different approach. She stepped close to it, put a hand on a bar each and tried pulling them apart like she had done before. Once again her muscles started trembling and she roared out loud at the effort. They bent. But not enough. She still wasn't strong enough.

Furious, she slammed a hand into the fence and watched it shake from the impact. It would take more.

Red sat back down on the bench, her clouded head unable to remember that she wasn't supposed to do that.

It threw her off, sending her flying into the bars, which she caught with her hands.

And this time she wouldn't stand for it.

Red flew up from the ground and grabbed the ugly piece of wood, smashed it into the walls, the bars and the floor until all the legs broke off, including the one she held onto. Then she took the large plank that made out the back and started breaking it apart, throwing the pieces everywhere in the room, growling furiously as she did.

Then she realized what she was doing and let the splinters in her hands drop to the floor.

_Oh God, it's really happening._

She moved backwards, away from the massacre until she hid a wall. Then she slid down until she was sitting, staring at the mess in front of her.

So Rumpelstiltskin's experiment was working. Pain was how he convinced the rational voice to let the wolf pass through the gates to her mind. Staring at the choices labeled _turn_ or _die of this_, it finally caved.

Somehow she thought she would feel herself losing it, but it seemed like it was sneaking up on her. Just this morning – or at least she thought it was morning, when she woke up, but it might as well have been in the afternoon – she had felt normal. Good. Like herself. Now she couldn't recognize this creature she was trapped inside. She stared down at her nails, which were looking lethal and full of little wooden splinters. It had happened so fast. Something she hadn't taken into account was the exponential growth insanity seemed to have. Evolving from just a tiny thought to a whole new identity in no time at all. It was like sending a snowball starting down a constructed hill, only she had forgotten to place any trees, so the ball just kept rolling. All she could do was watch as the world was repeatedly turning upside down and back at a sickening speed.

Rumpelstiltskin appeared then, materializing in front of her. He didn't do that often. Red spared him no glance, but gazed straight ahead, feeling tired and defeated.

"Look at the mess you made. Whatever did you do?"

She didn't answer, but lifted up her hand to show him the nails full of splinters.

"Ooh, what large hands you have!" He laughed.

Red sighed and said: "I think I'm going insane."

"I like insanity. It's fascinating. And strangely comforting." She looked up at him then. Taking a closer look at his wide, black eyes and the wicked smile on his cracked lips, she found that she believed his words. In some way she hoped that if she was really losing her mind, she would take it with the same cheerful manner. At least he appeared to be having fun.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

_You're failing Rumple._

Rumpelstiltskin tried to ignore the being as he watched Belle from afar in her attempt to find his book through the chipped cup. She had looked so scared when she dropped it back then, so fragile and vulnerable. She had looked frightened before, most of the time really up until then – even though she had tried to hide it – but never like this. Her face had been apologetic at the same time and maybe it was that difference that changed the way he looked at her. From that moment forth his feelings had changed and he had felt something again. The cup was a reminder that it was possible. It was a reminder of what she had done to him.

_Well isn't this sweet? But she's trying to steal our book._

"She won't find it", Rumpelstiltskin assured the gnawing presence in his mind. It was constricting on his brain, hurting him for ignoring its wishes, but at this it loosened its grip. "She's smart, but she's going at it wrong. She doesn't see why you hid it, where you did."

It being was calmed. It didn't pass up a chance to taunt Belle for her misjudgment though, and spoke to her before Rumpelstiltskin could stop it.

Belle responded angrily, telling him again to come face her instead. He wished he could, but he wouldn't dare it now. Not in this fragile state of mind.

"Stop talking to her!" He hissed at his own head.

_Why? Afraid we'll scare her off? Wasn't that the whole point?_

"Yes", he mumbled. It had been the plan, but he was starting to feel doubts. What he really wanted was for the wolf to stop existing, to stop being a subject to her affection. He knew Belle had to leave, but he didn't want her to. Having her walk around the castle brought out memories and a surprising amount of those were good ones. They were of days were they would just talk and it felt like Belle saw right through his appalling appearance. His hostile attitude. Even that had been dulled in her presence. It had felt like the being was less present, less in control. This was probably why it couldn't stand her.

_And because she's an obnoxious child, sticking her nose in things she has no business touching. She's nothing. Not like Milah was…_

He didn't respond to the voice. He leaned against the walls of his study. It was in here their destiny took a turn. In was in here she had kissed him.

Rumpelstiltskin's brain was clouded by the black spots the being had left, but this he could still recall quite clearly. She had entered his study, carefully, almost tiptoeing. There had been something different about her that day, something not unlike the vulnerability she had shown the day she dropped the porcelain cup, but yet he had spotted a flash of determination in her eyes. He turned around to focus on his studies instead, feeling oddly uneasy. The being, only half as integrated in his mind as now, was stirring too.

"What?" He asked her without looking up.

"I was just going to ask you, if you needed me for anything?"

"No. You can go to the library."

"Well, actually I'd rather stay here with you." The softness of her voice had made him look up. She looked insecure, yet she still had that determination in her features. He hadn't understood then what she had been up to.

"I'm working", he said and turned in his focus back to the book.

"What are you doing?"

He was starting to get a bit annoyed with her for intruding and insisting on disturbing him, but he answered anyway: "I'm looking up ingredients to make a sleeping potion. It's part of a deal with the Queen."

"Dark magic again?" Her voice sounded closer, but he refused to look up.

"Yes. It's what I do."

"Doesn't it ever bother you? The dark magic. You have this great power, but it seems to take so much out of you. You seem so… Haunted."

Suddenly she was standing so close and he couldn't refrain from looking up at her. It troubled him how close she was to naming the problem, or rather it troubled the being, but it that moment he listened less to those thoughts. He thought less all together, but instead watched her face, suddenly so close to his, wearing an innocent, worried expression. He might be wrong, but it had felt like his heart was starting to beat harder in his chest. It had kept a steady pace for a decade, but now it seemed to have lost it rhythm. He hadn't felt like this since he before Bae was born, and he and Milah were mere youngsters.

"I guess you could say that."

"Let me help", Belle had said.

"I'm not savable Belle", he had told her, but she shook her head and smiled at him.

"I don't believe that."

The being had begun to writhe inside him, but it was drowned in the noise of his own beating heart. He was no youngster anymore, yet the same sort of anxiety and need had come over him and he only watched her as she moved in closer and kissed him.

_I think I'm going to make you vomit. Would you free us from this sappy nonsense?_

Rumpelstiltskin hissed at the voice, for once hating the free access it had to his most private thoughts.

The bliss had ended there. He had only just given in to her, when he started feeling weak to the bone. This wasn't the consequence of Belle dragging out affectionate feelings out of him, but something else entirely. Her display of love, and him finally accepting it, was the force of light chasing away the darkness in him and along with that, his dark magic. He had heard rumors spoken of true love's kiss being the most powerful breaker of curses, but he had never believed it until then. And it terrified him. More so, it made the being furious, launching claws at him, because it suddenly realized that it was caught in the trap. He would lose it.

Rumpelstiltskin had broken the kiss and stumbled back, lightheaded and drained for more than one reason. A few moments had gone by in shocked silence and the being had seen this as an opportunity to start screaming at him from the inside of his skull.

_You fool, she's tricking you! She knows how to get rid of me! Do something you moron, before she leaves you powerless!_

And so he had sent her away. In that moment he had hated himself for being the reason for those tears, she had cried, but he couldn't do without his powers.

He still couldn't. It frightened him to feel that they were still slipping away. Belle's kiss had started something and he didn't know how to reverse it. His magic was getting out of control and it had starting spreading throughout the castle in random outbursts. This was what had brought the furniture to life. He used to be able to control what to animate, but after the kiss it was no longer his choice.

He looked over at the dusty candelabra in the corner as these thoughts travelled through his mind. He thought about how Belle still had some odd effect on him and his magic, it must be why he couldn't just chase her out.

"We should always be nice to her", he mumbled to the candelabra and sat down on the chair by the table, tired somehow.

The random outbursts drained him too. Slowly his powers were disappearing and the knowledge only made the being cling harder to him, desperately afraid that if it let go, it would dissipate into nothing. It was the only feeling he thought the being was really capable of acting out, everything else it felt with cold distance. This he knew because the being made its own feelings his feelings whenever it took over.

This knowledge was what made him speed up the processing of the wolf. He had learned enough about it to complete his experiment. He had wanted to know if the wolf's emotions could be controlled, could be turned into something of his use and he knew now that it could. Only as he had gone along, another desire had awakened; the desire to take the wolf out of the equation. He wanted it gone, he wanted to become the wild animal it really was, one Belle could never love.

_And then what Rumple? That will get you Belle? What are you gonna do then? Woo her back with flowers, chocolate and promises you don't intend to keep?_

He hissed at the voice again and didn't answer. All that mattered now was that he dealt with the wolf.

* * *

><p>It was a few days after that when he had come to realize that his grip on the wolf had slackened. Either he was getting weaker too fast or the wolf was getting stronger a lot faster than anticipated. Its mind was slowly dissolving, yes, but with that came the untamed strength, released from a pocket somewhere within. He hadn't expected it to break free during a silver-treatment and he had to shove it back in the cell, abruptly and with a hint of panic. In a moment it had seemed completely confused, but it sensed his fear nonetheless. Creatures like this one could smell insecurity. It had stared at him with a smile that made its features look darker, and threatened him.<p>

The being was furious, bombarding him with thoughts and constricting on his brain again as soon as they were alone.

_You're a failure Rumple. You can't keep a leash on our pet and you can't get your girl to leave or keep her from finding our book. Some wizard._

"Shut up!" Rumpelstiltskin hissed, putting his hands to his head, like he hoped he could push the voice out.

He would have to deal with the wolf now. Give it the final push over the edge and let it fall into the abyss of madness. He knew this had happened to the wolf's mother. Insanity was in their blood.

He studied the beast a lot and it was evident it wouldn't take many drops of his liquid silver to drag it out completely. He could see it in its eyes and feel it in its temper. It had changed from when he first locked it up. It was more agitated, acting more like the caged animal it truly was, and its eyes shone with fascination of its sharp claws. All good signs. But there was still work to do.

He didn't wait long, only a day or so before pulling it in for another silver-treatment. He had had to replace the plank bed with another, since the wolf had torn it up and broken the chains. Those he had replaced by new, stronger ones.

It was interesting seeing the wolf change from its superior stance in the middle of the cell, awaiting his move, to a curled up position in the corner, whimpering, as soon as he made the table appear. Much had changed, but not its reaction to the anticipation of pain. Or perhaps it was because it knew that the treatment worked.

He transported the wolf to the table and tied it with the chains before it could regain consciousness. He didn't listen to its pleads, didn't answer to the hissed profanities, but concentrated on his work. He tipped the jar of silver and watched it fall into the open cut. The beast started withering around, screaming and crying, and Rumpelstiltskin could hear the chains creak at the strain. The first round never brought anything feral, only tears. He watched it. The sound of its cry and the sight of agony shining from wide open eyes, as it pleaded wordlessly for him to stop, was starting to reach just an inch beneath his skin. The being hadn't clouded his mind completely yet and at times he would break out of the cover. At times like that he considered stopping. But the being still had the overhand and as it brought of the memories of the wolf kissing Belle, he no longer felt the need to stop. The being had no scruples torturing their prisoner, even if set prisoner was a mere child. Rumpelstiltskin's own scruples were only transient.

He stopped then. It was no good doing this if the wolf passed out. By the looks of its fluttering eyes, it was about to. The wolf fell back on the table, limp and drew deep breaths. Stared at him with hatred that in this moment matched the intensity of his own.

For the first time it was completely quiet as he lifted the jar again. In the moment before the silver hit he could have sworn it bared its teeth at him in a twisted smile.

Then it started screaming. The screaming turned to howling. Turned to a feral roar. For a moment a twitch flickered over its face, one so animalistic he wondered for a moment if the beast was going to break out fully right then and there. But it stayed in its human form. With a powerful pull it broke the chains, those thicker chains he had thought would hold, and freed its arms. Did the same with its feet. Then it crawled off the table, dragging its thicker, longer claws over the surface, carving new furrows and turned its golden eyes to him.

"Your eyes changes color, huh? There's a fashion statement", he said, but the thing didn't seem to register his words. It prepared a claw instead and launched.

The claw was inches from his face, when his trapping spell caught it. Sweat broke out on his forehead as he felt the wolf trying to resist his magic, working itself out of the spell. Not much earlier he would have thought that impossible. Now he wasn't so sure. He could feel the presence in his head being afraid too. They could both feel that his powers were weakening and he found, he couldn't contain the wolf much longer. Instead he shoved it back into its cell, slammed the doors and cast a protection spell on the bars, just in case the wolf really was strong enough to break out now.

There he left it and withdrew to his studies, where he resumed looking through his books for anything that could reverse what Belle had done to him. The being raged in the meantime and now it seemed it was reaching a conclusion. One Rumpelstiltskin would never allow if he had had a say in the matter.

_This is getting out of hand. You failed to contain them both._ _We're changing plans then. Neither gets to leave. Let them play with each other and let's see what happens._

He went down to check on the wolf. He checked it more often now that its change was escalating. He needed to assess if he still had the amount of control, he thought he had. Sometimes the wolf would stand up and hammer its body into the bars. Every hit felt like an impact on his own body, a clear sign his magic had lost its edge of invincibility.

_This is all your fault for letting that stupid girl k-_

"Don't talk about her like that!"

His outburst woke up the wolf. It didn't sleep much now that madness was getting a firm grip on it. Rumpelstiltskin never slept anymore and even the days of wanting to had slipped behind him. The wolf looked up at him with tired eyes. Eyes a little clearer than when it had tried to attack him.

"You look terrible wolfy. Clearly beauty sleep has no effect on you."

"At least I'm not grey yet. What about you? Given up on the concept? I'm afraid you'd have to sleep forever." It was clearer yes, but the haze of madness had begun to creep into its gaze. It still slipped in and out of it, it seemed. When consumed, words failed it. Today it spoke with a brash tongue. He ignored the comment.

"I've come to inform you that our little experiment is at an end."

It looked suspicious. It stood up and crossed its arms, while looking at him. "If you haven't noticed I'm still furless."

"Oh, but fur is not needed as long as the mind is animal dearie. You're still my pet."

It scoffed. "And here I thought you were gonna let me go."

"We are."

That made it look even more suspicious. "What?"

"Oh you heard me. I'm letting you out to stroll around the castle, stretch those legs. Let's call it a new experiment, you know, observation in the wild. And who knows what you'll find out there."

At first it just kept looking disbelieving, but then its eyes widened and Rumpelstiltskin imagined it finally got his point. For just a second he was torn as his own self wanted to withdraw the words, but the being sent a mean, satisfied laughter through his head.

"Belle…" It whispered. He hated how it said her name. Like it had some kind of claim on her. Then it turned its gaze to him again. "No, don't let me out. I'll hurt her if you do, I know it."

"We know". It was a complete overwrite by the being, wrapped around his tongue, that made him say those words. For the first time Rumpelstiltskin felt a hint of fright emerging from the back of her mind, because yes, it would.

The wolf looked beyond shocked. It looked remarkably human for a moment.

"Why would you do this to the woman you love?" It whispered.

He scoffed right back. "Love is only for petty humans."

It shook its head and with a soft voice it said: "No, it's not."

As he looked at the wolf he wanted to laugh at it and say that its love was wasted on Belle, but every reason he could give would come right back to himself. And somewhere the painful truth was that he knew that look on Belle's face. The look she had given the wolf, the voice in which she had spoken to it. He didn't want to accept those emotions and so he chose not to feel. He chose to let the being take over. He walked close to the bars and stared right into the eyes of the wolf.

"Really?" The being said with his voice. "Then we look forward to see how love is going to get you out of this mess that it got you into."

Something in his gaze seemed to be triggering it. Its gaze grew darker and as it bared its teeth at him he got the full view of their sharpness. He bet they could cut through skin as though it was butter.

Over the course of that day he could watch how the rebellious attitude of the wolf developed into the confused picture of a madman. Just to make sure its state of mind would stick, he treated it with another round of silver. Different this time, the whole procedure with the plank bed and the tying down was too risky. Instead he pushed it against the wall, made two quick slices in its forearms and transported the liquid silver from the jar standing in his study, directly into the flesh of the wolf. Just a little bit to tease it out.

The wolf howled and as soon as it could move it started clawing the silver out. He noted the obvious panic in its eyes, as it didn't know which arm to start with and it couldn't do them both simultaneously. It started scratching randomly, making a bloody mess. Cries turned to growls, deep animalistic growls that rolled up all the way from its stomach. He snapped his fingers and removed the silver. The beast sat still then, panting, and when it looked up at last, its gaze was a black as his.

He turned then, concentrating.

He tried to get a picture of where Belle was hiding. It was a lot easier when that traitorous piece of furniture was following her around, but even so his vision flickered. His ability to feel the entire castle and everything in it was fading too. Or perhaps it was just because the aura the wolf beside him drew too much attention. He caught a glimpse of them wandering the hall of the right wing. Their mere presence in that side of the castle frustrated the being.

"_Tired of looking around?"_ He said to her, sending his voice away so the wolf couldn't hear it. It seemed to have a good idea of what he was doing though, because it growled at him, a growl laced with panic.

Far away in the castle he felt Belle stop dead and stare into space.

"Rumpelstiltskin, I'm tired of this game. Stop it now", she said into the air, but he heard it.

"_Okay_."

She looked surprised, no more than that, she looked disbelieving. Suspicious like the wolf.

Behind him he heard the unmistakable sound of the bars creaking as they were forced to bend. He shot one glance over his shoulder to find the wolf, wearing a blank expression and trying to tear through the fence. His protection spell would delay it, but he knew it would only be a matter of time, before it succeeded now and he urged Belle on:

"_Come find us then_."

"Will you let me in this time?"

Rumpelstiltskin held up an open hand. Imagined a miniature model of the wardrobe guarding the entrance to the dungeons. As he starting closing his hand the large piece of furniture behind the walls starting creaking, bending inwards. The more he closed his hand the more it broke and shrunk. By the time he could make a fist of his hand the wardrobe had crumbled to a pile of wooden splinters.

"_Already open for you_."

She immediately turned around and started heading towards them. The bench followed her. It made him giggle.

"_You bring your pet, I bring mine_."


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Much thanks for all the support you guys! I'm glad the Rumple chapters are being well recieved as well, I find it quite fun to get into his head. Anyway back to Belle.**

**Chapter 24**

_You bring your pet, I bring mine._

His last sentence echoed in her mind all the way back to the west wing. The thought of him treating Red like a pet made some of that anger boil up in her again. She knew he was less himself than he had ever been, the way his voice sounded in her ears was evidence of it, but it didn't help matters at all. She despised him in this moment. And she was worried about what kind of promise was hidden in those words. _I bring mine_. Bring her were? Into the fight, she imagined he meant. There was not going to be any fight. Not if Belle had any say. She was going to make this right.

The bench struggled to keep up with her. She had slowed a bit as she closed in on the entrance to the dungeons, allowing it to catch up to her. She needed to be careful with her every move now, she needed to think it through. For one because Rumpelstiltskin appeared to be slipping beyond rational sense, but more importantly because she didn't know what state she would find Red in. Was she still under his control? And Belle wasn't oblivious to the self-directed accusations she had made during the short time they had known each other. She hadn't tried to hide the fact that she could be dangerous. She had urged Belle to run. Yet Belle hadn't. One final time it struck her that maybe she should. Maybe it was what Red wanted.

And again she found that she couldn't. She just… couldn't.

Belle touched the small staircase leading to the dungeons. She walked down carefully the, for once fully lighted, steps and turned the corner.

No wardrobe.

Instead the glooming dark invited her in. She paused for a second, momentarily overwhelmed. This was basement level. Whatever little light snuck its way into the other levels couldn't reach through the stone walls and ceiling. Belle grew angry with herself. _You finally have a way in and now you get scared? _

Behind her the bench stumbled down the stairs. Her eyes kept flickering between the bench and the dark. If only…

The bench stopped right beside her and bumped gently into her as if it had read her mind. She smiled at it and sat down, one leg on each side.

"Thank you my friend", she whispered and stroked the soft fabric of its back, hoping it understood her gratitude.

It started walking into the dark and Belle braced herself. She had to get through this. For Red. As soon as she saw her again, as soon as she could take a look at the situation she would know what to do. For now she would let herself be guided.

The little maze-like corridors seemed longer now. And it was cold down here. A cold cloud of nothing, until her eyes adjusted to the thick darkness in here. The bench led her as if it knew the way. As if Rumpelstiltskin was calling it to him, like he had Belle. Her heart starting beating rapidly in anticipation and dread for what she was going to be met with. She could see light at the end now, faint but there. Her pulse was like fast drumming in her ears. The doorway came into view, open, but gave nothing away.

A few feet away Belle got off the bench and walked the last steps herself. Her legs felt weirdly heavy. As she neared the doorway the room came into view. On the exact opposite of the door was the cell. The cell door stood open. In the cell was Red.

Belle stopped dead for a second, gasping and trying to take in the overwhelming change, the girl seemed to have undergone. She sat on the stone floor, head down, raven hair covering her face. It had lost its shine completely. Even though Belle couldn't see her face, the girl eluded an aura of defeat so thick Belle could almost see it as a mist surrounding her. Her arms lay useless in her lap and there were scratches on them. The actual wounds were mostly gone, but a thin layer of blood had painted her forearms in messy strokes. Behind her lay a pile of broken wood, a ragged blanket and beside her was a tray of water. He was treating her like a pet and not one he particularly liked.

"Red…" She whispered. She had barely spoken out loud, but Red's ears caught the sound anyway. Her head snapped up and her eyes fixated directly on Belle, still in cover of the dark in the corridor.

Her eyes frightened Belle. There seemed to be such chaos in them, a vortex of opposing emotions. At first they seemed to light up, but only to be replaced by a look of sheer panic. And her irises were gold.

Belle took a step inside. If it was a trap she might have walked right into it. All her thoughts of treading carefully, calculating and anticipating _his_ moves were forgotten in the moment she saw her beautiful Red sitting there, looking more dead than alive. She hadn't taken her eyes off Belle, but she didn't move an inch either. It was like she was afraid to. But why?

As Belle stepped into the room, she was greeted by manic giggles and the nasal, foreign yet familiar voice of Rumpelstiltskin's second soul:

"So, you've come to stare at the _beast_, have you?"

She spun around to find him standing against the wall to her left, watching her. Belle was just about to speak, say those words of reconciliation she had tried to prepare as another voice stole her focus.

"Belle…" Red's voice was paper thin and sounded agonized. Belle gave hell in being careful and ran to her. As she reached the cell she stopped. It would make it too easy for him, if she just walked right in there. Instead she bowed down to catch Red's eyes.

"Red, oh God Red, are you okay? Please come out here." She didn't move. Or talk.

"What, are you afraid I'm going to lock you in there with it? If I wanted to do that I could just push you from here, you know."

Belle ignored him and reached out a hand. She got down on her knees, still sitting outside the cell and reached out a hand to touch Red's. She could only reach it with her fingers, but it finally made her react. Her whole body flinched at the sudden contact. Her skin was sickly warm. Her gaze was still fastened on Belle's face, but her expression was weirdly blank. _He still has her_, she thought with panic.

"Red, please stand up", she whispered. Finally Red started to come alive and her hand turned to hold Belle's. Her palms were sweaty and Belle noticed that she was trembling slightly. She seemed so nervous beneath the mask of emptiness. Belle pulled carefully at her and to her immense relief Red moved with her, stood up. Her whole body trembled and Belle was afraid she was going to fall. She acted just like when she was sick and Belle had found her, weak and confused. Except for the face. Her blank expression was new and so was the eye color. Red grasped for the bars to keep herself steady and her breathing sped up until she got a hold of it. The other hand fell out of Belle's. She had closed her eyes for a moment, but now they opened and found Belle's again. Belle felt tears starting to build in her own.

"Oh my God, what has he done to you?" She whispered and lifted her hands to Red's face, cupping her cheek gently. Red flinched again and she looked afraid. Belle noticed again how feverishly hot her skin felt beneath her touch. It was a malignant heat now, not the comforting supernatural warmth she had felt before. Her skin was moist from the sweat that glistened on her face in the light from the light bulb in the ceiling.

Belle searched desperately for some kind of recognition, as the golden eyes looked into hers. She was too preoccupied to notice Red's free hand moving up towards her with sharp nails growing by the second and suddenly retrieve again, curling into a fist so tight little drops of blood emerged between the fingers. Red's eyes left her and sought behind her to Rumpelstiltskin. The panic was still present in them.

Belle misjudged and turned around to face Rumpelstiltskin.

"Stop controlling her!"

The man only chuckled. "Oh, we don't have to."

This was when Belle remembered what she had concluded earlier. He must hold her heart to control her. He was holding nothing.

"Then why is she like this? What have you done?"

"Why, brought out the wolf of course. No actually, it did that all on its own, we just helped."

They were interrupted by the sound of the bench entering. It walked a few clumsy steps towards Belle, but stopped halfway. Inched a little around and then scrambled a few steps back again. Like it was afraid to come closer. Like it was afraid of her. _No, of Red_.

"You did bring your pet", Rumpelstiltskin said, eyeing the bench with an annoyed glance.

"Red is not your pet!" She yelled at him, furious that he kept implying it. Something growled behind her and the sound was so like an actual animal, it took Belle another moment to realize the sound had come from Red. It made her flinch, but she held her ground.

"It's not human either. Look at it."

Belle turned around again to see the changing expression on Red's face as she looked down at something. Her eyes no longer looked panicked, but were filled with childish joy, accompanied by a kind of madness resembling that, which was shining from Rumpelstiltskin's eyes, and a smile was forming on her lips. Belle slowly looked down to follow her gaze and saw the thick claws that had appeared on her fingers instead of nails. Belle tried to choke down the gasp and looked back to Red's face. Red was staring at her now with that intense predatory gaze, Belle had seen before, but never attached much significant meaning to. Her smile was inhuman. Belle could only imagine that this was what Red's mother had looked like. The sight made Belle scramble a few steps backwards as quickly as she could.

And she should never have done that.

At the sudden movement the predatory instincts in Red, now magnified by the merge and the slowly approaching full moon, clicked in place and her entire posture changed so radically that for a moment she looked nothing like human. Belle only caught a glimpse of this and it all took less than a second, before Red threw herself at Belle.

Belle could see nothing as the taller body blocked her view, she only felt herself colliding with the hard floor and an excruciating pain in her right thigh as something sharp tore through it. She heard herself scream and her panicked mind, instantly realizing she was completely defenseless, kept repeating _this can't be happening!_ Belle stared into the face of the very real possibility that she would die at the hand of the monstrous version of the girl she loved.

The creature of top of her growled in pain and was pushed off. Something jumped above her head. Belle, suddenly free, backed away as fast as her uncoordinated, panicked movements allowed her. She saw Red crouching right beside her with the bench in her embrace. It had tackled her to save Belle.

Belle didn't wait this time, but concentrated with all her might on making her body move, ordering it to run. She caught a glimpse of Red as she gripped both ends of the bench and started bending it, taking her time to wreck it as thoroughly as possible. Her face was twisted in an unrecognizable mask of anger.

Belle fled the room to the sound of wood being smashed against the stone wall. She heard a loud feral roar and Rumpelstiltskin screaming something she couldn't understand. Belle didn't stay to listen, she just ran. She finally ran.

* * *

><p>She heard the roar one more time before she was out of the dungeons, but she didn't look back. It might have been closer, but Belle couldn't be sure. She rushed towards the entrance hall, blinking away her tears, thinking <em>she's a monster. She really is.<em> Belle hated herself for letting this thought take form in her mind, but she couldn't deny it any longer. This was another one she couldn't save.

She was only vaguely aware of the blood oozing from the wound on her now exposed thigh, as she ran down towards the enormous double doors, overwhelmed by the agonizing deja vu. She almost slammed into the door and fumbled for the handle.

It wouldn't move. When she finally closed her trembling hands around the handle and pulled, nothing happened. The door was locked. She tore at her with all her strength, knowing that this had been enough back when they entered the castle. Now it wasn't. The door was locked and there was nothing she could do to change that. In the distance she thought she could hear another roar, but from where she didn't know.

_Think Belle, think!_ She ordered herself. She didn't have time to stop and fall to pieces now, she had to get out. _Oh God, I should have run. I should have run when I had the chance_.

Then it hit her. The kitchen.

She started running again, as fast as her damaged leg allowed, towards the kitchen. Not even the dark could touch her now, not when something far more dangerous might be at her heels any moment. Red in her human form was nowhere near as fast as the wolf, but she was still fast. Much faster than Belle.

It felt like forever before the lighted doorway of the ever-busy kitchen appeared down the hall. She had to give it a try. Maybe she could run so fast the utensils wouldn't catch her. The light welcomed her, invited her in.

The knives did not.

As soon as she reached the doorway three knives came right at her and hammered into the door beside her, one of them so close to her face it cut off a lock of her hair. She stared as the lock fell to the floor and as it reached the bottom, so did Belle's hope of escaping. She looked into the kitchen to find a dozen knives hanging in the air, the sharp edge pointing at her, as if to warn her not to take a single step into the kitchen. It seemed the castle had suddenly changed its mind. She had her chance of leaving, but she had blown it and now it was too late. That was what the silent knives in the air were telling her. She wasn't going to leave. Ever.

Suddenly realizing there was no escape the adrenalin started dissolving in her blood, no longer useful. She started to feel her body again. Felt her thigh. And it really hurt. Belle sank to the floor and started sobbing in despair and pain.

Belle had never regretted the decision to leave home. She had missed home, but even so stood by her choice. For the first time she wished she had never gotten herself into all this. She had been afraid of Rumpelstiltskin's temper before she left him, but never afraid of being killed. Now she was not so sure. What she found herself wishing for more than anything, was those nights were she and her dad would cuddle up by the fireplace. Her dad might sometimes get a little carried away with his political monologues, whenever she asked him how his day was, but she was always happy. She was warm and she was safe. Now she was cold and scared and she was bleeding. She was bleeding a lot.

Belle wasn't squeamish per say, but the sight of her blood soaked clothes made her slightly lightheaded. She had to do something about it, otherwise she would soon lose the ability to walk altogether. And she needed to move now more than ever.

She would have to tie something around her thigh above the wound. Close the smaller peripheral arteries so the wound could close up itself. She had read about this too, during her thorough study of travelling in the wild. She could use a piece of cloth from her hood, she thought and she tried to rip off a piece. It was a lot harder than she had imagined. After several tries and with help from sharp edges of broken bricks she succeeded in getting off a piece large enough to bind around her leg.

She didn't succeed with this at first either. As soon as she tightened the piece of cloth against her skin, razor sharp pains shot up her body from the injury, making her weak. She tried to choke down the scream, afraid to be heard, and wiped away the tears that sprang to her eyes. Her hands started trembling and leaned back against the wall.

_Come on Belle. Pull yourself together. You have to do this._

She took a deep, shaky breath and tried again. Willing her hands to obey even though they shook so hard she could barely tie the knot. _Have to_. She clenched her jaw together and tightened the knot. She barely contained the scream and it came out as a muffled whine between her teeth. It hurt like nothing she could ever remember feeling, but the blood flow seemed to stop. Left was only a dull, pulsating pain from the damaged flesh and the increased pressure of the underlying vessels.

Somewhere in a distance she heard a howl. It wasn't quite like the one she had heard from the wolf, but it was horrifyingly close.

_I have to move._

She tried standing. Her whole body was resisting. It felt like it didn't want to move ever again, but she forced herself to anyway. Mind over matter.

She needed to do something about this wound. She knew exactly would have happened, if the wolf had bit her, given she had survived. What about her claws or the fact that she was still mostly human? Was she cursed? Belle had to find out. Had to be prepared. Had to look for another way out.

Belle thought of Red, the sweet, caring, beautiful girl she had been the last time Belle saw her. The first girl Belle had ever had feelings for. Now her mind had been twisted by the welcoming of the wolf, spun into something else. Something that was further from human than ever. Belle had been so naïve in her thoughts of the girl. She had refused to see what Red had told her all along. She was dangerous. She was a killer. And now, for some reason Belle didn't fully understand, she had her mind set on Belle.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

It felt like waking up from a trance or a dream. Little after little Red could recall most of what had happened, but only as a rough outline of how events must have taken place. The time lapses had been so frequent that everything from the last round of torture to finding herself curled up against a stone wall, which was not the inside of her cell, felt like a variety of overlapping dreams. It was all so horribly blurry.

Her clearest memory was the smell of blood and her own clawed fingers tearing through Belle's skin. She had to be careful to think about this, because the stress of knowing she really had hurt Belle this time threatened to throw her into the haze of insanity again. She could remember the blood, the feeling of tearing Belle's thigh open and then she had to focus on something else, because the thought made her mouth water and her teeth grow.

So where was she? Location felt like a safe topic to discuss with herself. It was a dark corridor, unfurnished and with those plinths for torches placed on the wall. It didn't give her much to work with since everything is this damned castle looked like that. She could smell Belle though. Catch her scent drifting in the air of the corridor.

_Such sweet blood, smooth skin. God, to sink teeth into that-_

_Bricks Red. Focus on bricks. Where the hell are you?_

She tried to dull the panic that accompanied the feeling of her mind slipping into those murderous thoughts, by redirecting her thoughts.

She was done crying now. Tears failed her. She couldn't. It didn't mean that the ache in her chest wasn't real. Once again she found herself wishing Rumpelstiltskin would appear and rip her heart out again. She didn't want to feel the guilt, the panic that she could have killed her. Red remembered her running. Finally running away. Hopefully she had left the castle. Red would soon find out.

_And then taste that sweet-_

But first she had to figure out where she was. It wasn't that large a corridor, but sitting down she couldn't reach the opposite wall the way she would have been able to in the cellars. It was also lighter here; she had to be above basement level.

How did she get out of the dungeons?

Why did Rumpelstiltskin let her leave?

Something told he hadn't let her, but he also couldn't hinder her. She remembered the second round of silver-torture, where she had broken free. She couldn't remember what had happened, but she remembered that shocked expression of the wizards face. It had happened the third time too. This was different, because she remembered something about attacking him and him stopping her. She thought the time lapses appeared when the wolf broke out, but perhaps she was merged enough that she was starting to see some things through its eyes. Rumpelstiltskin had looked afraid. Actually afraid. Maybe his control was slipping. She had gotten too strong for him and so he had occupied her with chasing Belle instead. And she wanted to. God knows, she did.

Red tried to get a hold of her mind. _You don't want to kill her. Remember the pain._

No, she didn't want to kill her, but the wolf wasn't submitted to her petty human emotions and it felt like it was pulling half the strings now. She wondered if this was how Rumpelstiltskin felt about that thing inside him. The feeling of having some evil force inside you that you can't control and sometimes have to obey, no matter how much your own self is screaming no. That was how she had felt it, when the gates had opened and the wolf was starting to push itself through. That was how it felt now. Like her own human mind was this little insignificant being tugged into the corner, while the other one, the wolf, raced forward, doing as it pleased. She could only watch. She wondered too, if her mother had felt it like this. Her mother never looked as despairing as Red felt. She always just smiled like nothing could touch her. Red remembered having a feeling like that at one point, as she had watched her claws grow out. It was the feeling of invincibility and she couldn't deny the greatness of it. But it never lasted. She could only hope that meant she wasn't completely insane yet.

Red looked around again. She still hadn't figured out where she was. At last she got to her feet and tried to gain a general view of her whereabouts. What had Belle said about the location of the dungeons? The left wing right? So she might still be there.

It hit Red that it didn't really matter where she was as long as she didn't know where she was going. What was she going to do with herself?

_Find Rumpelstiltskin and tear him apart piece by piece._

_Valid option_, Red thought with an evil smile, momentarily exhilarated, but maybe she should make sure that Belle was out of harm's way first. She could follow her trail.

_Do you really want to get close to Belle right now?_

_Yes, very much so._

Which was exactly why she shouldn't. She didn't trust either her body or her mind at the moment and she didn't know precisely what she was going to do to the girl, if she found her.

Red followed it anyway. She had to know, if Belle was still here. Plus this was a scent she could follow, whereas Rumpelstiltskin left no trail. He just materialized somewhere and even his diseased skin didn't have enough scent for her to isolate it in this environment. Maybe she could when her wolf was fully out, but she wouldn't risk it. She had no idea if this lucid state was only temporary, but she would like to hold onto it as long as possible. She stopped and watched her nails. Tried to will them to shrink back to human nails. She tried to remind herself that she was a human, not a wolf. She tried to think sane thoughts, but her mind mostly went to Belle and this had a strange effect on her. While thinking of Belle her mind was the most chaotic. She had hundreds of opposing emotions and it made her head spin. She tried to think of something else. She found the memory of her father, the only true human in her known family, to be soothing somehow. The thought of how he had read her books and tugged her in at night. She found that this time, this age of childhood was the last time she had truly felt human. It seemed to work. Her nails withdrew a little and while she still felt like a monster, she might look less like one now.

Red started walking again. Belle's scent – _think of father, think of good night stories_ – led her up a staircase and into a larger hallway. She recognized this hallway, they had been here before. If she walked down a little further she would reach the wrecked library and the sinister greeting on the wall. The scent led her in the other direction.

The hallway grew lighter and she realized where she was, before she reached the staircase. Her eyes fell on the smashed chandelier. Red looked at the large double doors and was relieved. And sad at the same time. Belle had left.

Red started walking down the intact staircase, absentminded. She wandered around the hall for a bit, kicked the pieces of crystal across the floor, unsure what to do with herself. Some part of her was convinced that Belle wouldn't leave. She had thought the girl's stubbornness would prevail, but maybe her story was just repeating itself. Belle had run from this castle before, chased out by another monster.

Suddenly Red caught her scent again. And it was leading away from the doors.

Red felt guilty about the happiness that blossomed in her at the thought. She looked suspiciously at the door, went to it and tried to open it. It was locked. Even Red with her newfound strength couldn't thrust it open. There was no way Belle could have gone through here.

Red resumed tracking Belle, trying to get ahold of her chaotic emotions. Her happiness that Belle might not have left her, the small whimpering voice of her rational mind saying that Belle might have found another way and the wolf's desire to hunt her down and… Red didn't want to finish that thought.

She was led into a corridor she didn't remember having been through. It was much darker here, but it didn't bother Red's eyes. What made her wonder was that she knew the dark bothered Belle. More than that, it terrified her. How had she managed to walk around here alone? _Well, if it's that or being eaten by you_, the mean voice commented wryly.

"So now _you're_ back", Red mumbled and sighed. _Maybe I should take that as a good sign_. Now that Red thought about it, she remembered that thing that was following Belle. The bench, not unlike the one from her own cell, only nicer. In more than one way it seemed. Red also remembered breaking it, when it had jumped to Belle's rescue. It made her feel even worse to know that she had smashed the only thing keeping Belle company to pieces.

* * *

><p>Red suddenly stopped. Took a look around and looked back. The surroundings had changed, it had gotten a little darker, the walls were smoother and the plinths were gone. She couldn't remember having made a turn anywhere. The corridor behind her didn't look familiar. She had lost time again. The acknowledgement that she was still experiencing time lapses made an uncomfortable cold set root in her gut. She thought she had snapped out of it. Or she had hoped.<p>

She took a whiff of the air. Belle's scent was still here. Even when her mind was cut off from her body she had followed it. And she didn't know if which emotion had controlled this action.

She could hear the clinking and rattling sounds of a kitchen at work. Further down the hall were a lighted doorway and a small square of light lit up the floor. It must be where Rumpelstiltskin had made her trick food. At least until he convinced her to eat it raw. She could eat a nice raw steak right now.

As she closed in on the kitchen she thought it sounded like the entire kitchen was at work. She couldn't fathom why. There was only Rumpelstiltskin to feed and God only knows what he ate. Bugs? Even if he had a normal diet, it couldn't possibly take this amount of effort to cook him something. Red inched close the open doorway and looked inside. The sight was confusion to say the least.

Indeed some of the kitchen utensils seemed to be working on some sort of meal, but knives and forks and plates seemed to be dueling each other. It was like watching a bar brawl except there were no hands to control the equipment. Red knew the furniture was animated, but this too? This was surreal.

Then, through the confusion of fighting silverware, she spotted a door. It must be where Belle had escaped. Red took another step into the kitchen to see if she could catch Belle's scent in here. All the knives immediately stopped their fight and the sharp edges turned towards Red. She had one second to react before the entire arsenal of butcher's knives, table knives and saw-like bread knives rushed towards her. She jumped to the side as every single one of them hammered into the door and adjacent wall.

Red took a step back and watched as they started wiggling themselves loose from the door and floated back into the room. She was prepared for another attack, but it never came. As long as she didn't set foot in the kitchen, she was of insignificance to them. She followed the last of them as it finally got itself out of the tricky position just above the door handle. It hadn't given itself much space to wiggle. Red thought to herself that there was no way Belle could have gone through there. That meant unless there was another way out, she was still here.

Red couldn't catch a new trail of her scent. She most have gone back the same way she came.

A_nd you must not go after her. Not until you can control yourself._

Red scoffed at her mean voice. "Oh yeah? And when will that be?" A thing that hadn't occurred to Red before was, that this state of mind might not be reversible. Her mother hadn't lived long enough for them to know this. She knew of no other werewolves. She had only been focused on surviving Rumpelstiltskin's experiment and getting out to find Belle. Now she was trying to force herself away from Belle and her fractioned mind might not heal up.

"How the hell did you get yourself to this point, Red?" She said with a sigh, not even aware that she was speaking out loud.

* * *

><p>Red came to her senses again and stopped walking. The surroundings suddenly looked different again, much lighter. The corridors were still small, but she wasn't on ground level anymore, she could taste it in the air. In was cleaner, less stuffed with dust. She looked down at her semi clawed hands and started to realize that it had been another time lapse. <em>Not again<em>, she thought and rolled her eyes. She didn't smell any blood, so she assumed that she had behaved in whatever amount of time she had been out.

Finding nothing else to do, she kept walking the path her blank mind had sought out. Then she realized why. She could smell Belle in the air. It was very faint, but Belle had definitely been here somewhere. Red didn't what to think of the fact, that even literally out of her mind, she tried to seek out Belle. She thought she knew why of course, but these feelings were laced with ambivalence. She wasn't sure if it was safe to be around the girl. But she wanted to. God, she wanted to see that beautiful face with her own eyes and not through the haze of her partial blackouts. She wanted to feel her skin and kiss her lips.

Her teeth seemed to grow sharper again.

_Still haven't gained any control, huh? _

Red growled. She didn't like that her mean voice had adapted some of the wizard's way of speaking. No, she couldn't go for Belle just yet, so why was she here?

There was only one door here down the end of the small corridor. Light was emerging from the small space between door and floor. _It would be nice see the sun for once_. It had felt like weeks living in the dark of the dungeons and Red had no idea, if that was even remotely true. She could probably figure it out, based on her sense of approaching moon, but her head was too tired to do the math. She walked to the door and pushed. Something was blocking it. Red pushed a little harder, but the door stuck. She gathered her wolf's strength and directed one shoulder blow at the door. It flew open to the sound of wood breaking and metal creaking. The door was twisted off its hinges and Red walked inside. On the ground was a wooden chair with a broken leg. It was crawling away from her, moving in weird spasms like those of a dying animal. Red stopped it with one foot. Watched it writhe beneath her. She smiled sadistically before adding more force and she watched as the weak little chair crumbled to a pile of useless wood. It lay still.

"Told you I would break everything in my way", she said out loud, just in case the wizard was listening.

She looked up to examine the room. It was a small chamber, unfurnished apart from the deceased chair and something large with a cloth hanging over. The smell of Belle lingered in this room.

Red walked to the thing in the middle and tore the large cloth off. It turned out to be a full sized mirror. It was cracked at places and rather dusty at the edges, but otherwise intact. It had a golden frame, which suggested it was a distinguished piece. Why it was shoved away up here one could wonder. Now that she did think about it, she hadn't seen one mirror in the castle. Maybe Rumpelstiltskin was after all aware of how unattractive he was.

Red stared at her own reflection. She wasn't unattractive. She knew that. Yet that pretty girl, who had once stared back at her from the other side, seemed to be gone, replaced by something else. She studied her features. Her cheeks had sunken in a little from the last time she looked into one of these. She hadn't gotten much to eat here. She studied the girl gazing back. Her crazy tangled hair, wild golden eyes, sharp wicked teeth and pale skin. She had never looked more like her mother.

She couldn't decide if that pleased her or not. She understood the temptation now, the pull to just let go.

Red turned away from the mirror, afraid she would get caught in a trance again and went to the window. These weren't barred, only covered with a layer of dust. She noticed that on one of them a set of hands had removed a little square of dust to be able to look out. Red smiled for a brief moment, imagining Belle standing on her knees right there, looking outside.

Red removed a square of dust further up the window and took a peak outside. The sun was glowing in a distance. It was falling towards the grown and soon it would turn gold. The trees were casting long shadows and bending in the autumn wind. Red would give anything to be outside, but when she tried, the windows wouldn't open. She hadn't expected them to. Rumpelstiltskin had sealed off the entire castle in his last round of the experiment. Red suddenly remembered this. He wanted to observe her in the wild, watch her as the wild creature unraveled and went berserk in his castle. She might not – even with her best efforts – do any real damage to the castle's broken appearance, but he had trapped a mouse in here with her. Belle. Red was beginning to doubt, if there was anything left of the man Belle had described. That man wouldn't do this to Belle, but that other one behind his eyes… that one only wanted its curiosity satisfied. Red wouldn't give it that pleasure though. Even if it was the last thing she did, she wouldn't let that thing in him win. With that in mind Red settled for watching the sun set over the trees.

* * *

><p>Red now found herself back in the gloom of the lower levels, having no idea how she got there. She didn't even know, if she got to see the sunset. These time lapses were getting annoying.<p>

She felt different now too.

For one thing she felt a little less hungry. She had eaten something, although what, she didn't know. Red looked down herself and saw all the thin red lines on her arms. There were small tears in her clothes too. Most likely from knives. Red now recognized this hall as the one leading from the kitchen.

_How the hell did I manage to get food from in there?_

Red examined her cuts again. It hadn't been bad, but it was still unsettling to know that she could walk into a highly guarded kitchen, sight off the floating knives, take food and leave without realizing she was doing it. Now that she thought really hard about it, she did remember walking towards that square of light.

Belle was in the air. Was that why she had gone down here during her blackout?

She went back to the cross section, but Belle was harder to pick up here. Her scent came from every direction and it was impossible to tell which way she had gone last. Red sat down and tried to think it through.

Instead of planning out a strategy she found herself staring into space. Her human brain had clearly slowed down. _Well, that can't be good_. Red sighed and leaned against the wall. All she knew what that the wolf was halfway through those gates to her mind and it could only be a matter of days, before the gates flew open and her body surrendered to the full moon. There were two people at stake here, one she would be delighted to tear apart and one she would hate herself for even touching. No, hate wouldn't even do it, she would rather endure another round of liquid silver torture, before she lay hands on Belle like that again.

The wound. Red hadn't even realized. What did that wound, she had inflicted, mean? Red didn't know much of her own mythology, but wounds caused by a werewolf were never good. They were cursed wounds. _Oh God, what if she's already bled out?_ The thought turned Red's blood to ice, but she shook it off. It couldn't be. Belle was moving, her scent told her so. She was moving, but she was hurt and Red didn't know how much.

_Easy prey…_

"No, stop it! I am _not_ hurting her again!" Red held her hands to her head, dragging her semi sharp nails across her own skin, trying to chase the predator out of her mind. It said no more, but it didn't leave. Instead it settled for humming in anticipation from the back of her mind. This was the other way she felt different now. The predator felt closer, moving like a cat and only inching closer, when she wasn't paying attention. It was trying to take over again. Her wolf seemed to have a special appetite reserved for the people Red cared about. There was the girl she killed. And Peter. She might not be picky about sex, but her lovers all had one thing in common: They suffered a tragic fate. That was how the wolf kept itself satisfied, while being caged in her mind. Red could only hope Belle was smarter, now that she had seen with her own eyes, what she was dealing with. She might not be able to leave, but hopefully her knowledge of the castle enabled her to find a safe hiding spot and stay there. Stay there forever?

No. Stay there until Red had found the dark wizard and torn him to shreds. With him gone the magic would be too and they could finally leave. And part ways. It was the only option left.

The thought tied a knot in her stomach. She wouldn't even get to say goodbye to Belle. Tell her how she really felt.

_You could just do that now. And have a little taste while you're at it._

"No, I won't", Red whispered, but her protest had lost their force, her defense was growing weaker. The predator was taking over again, she could feel it. Feel her mind slipping. It was like the love she felt for Belle turned into something lethal. It was catnip to her wolf, a trigger to her broken mind.

Without even realizing it she had gotten up and started walking again. She would find Belle. She had a day or two. The wizard's death could wait a little. It would be more fun to save the killing for the full moon. Let him see the full force of the monster he was so determined to drag out. Red smiled at the thought, a bestial smile, she had once seen her mother wear a little too often.

At this moment Red was only partially aware of what her body was doing. She had been tugged into the corner of her own mind again and she couldn't even deny her own wish to see Belle again. She had wanted to do it on her own terms, and she didn't want her predatory side anywhere near the girl.

She could smell her. She was close. Red tried everything she could to hold herself back, but despite her best efforts, she was walking.


End file.
